The Outlaw Jersey Whales

…not starring Clint Eastwood
.

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The Doclopedia #1,804

Why I Did It…: Pitted Them Against An Illithid

Courtesy of Kevin Rice

Short answer? Because they hit 3rd level and got too damned cocky. A fighter, wizard, cleric and thief who had it a bit too easy coming up and started thinking they were hot shit and the DM couldn’t take them out.

So I waited until they were about 4 levels down in a dungeon, then I had the floor give way and they slid down a tunnel into the dark caverns a mile below. They were pissed off, but still cocky.

I hit ’em with a swarm of Intellect Devourers first, then had the Illithid attack in the middle of that battle. He blasted them all mentally and then charmed the fighter. Hahaha! The wizard, who was the only one not stunned, put the fighter to sleep. Then he roused the others and they fought like hell. The Illithid was winning when the fighter woke up and got in a couple of decent hits.

I had forgotten that the wizard had a Ring of Limited Wish, so he burned it out wishing the four of them back to the surface. I had them arrive okay, but without the backpacks they had removed before the fight. Oh man, were they ever pissed! They had to walk 50 miles to the nearest town with 3 fights along the way.

Anyway, they aren’t nearly so cocky now.

The Doclopedia #1,805

Why I Did It…: Said Yes

Courtesy of Kyle Miller

Look, buddy, it’s real simple: when the Shadow tells you to either do something or get shot by them two big pistols of his, you say “Yessir, Mister Shadow, I’ll get right on that”, and you hope you haven’t pissed yourself every time he laughed.

So he tells me to get in a car, a big black & silver job, and go drive past some place in Chinatown. So sure, I do it, and then I’ve got a carload of Chinese guys and a carload of mob guys both chasing me. I’m scared, but then the radio comes on and a voice is telling me when to turn and what streets to take and I’m driving balls out through the city.

It’s a big car and the gas tank is full, so I’m staying ahead of them. Bullets fly by every so often, but the car and the rear glass are bulletproof. Anyway, next thing you know, I’m out of town heading toward Yonkers. Then the voice tells me to turn down this road and hit the gas, which I do. After a couple of miles, I’m out in the countryside and I pass a guy hiding behind a tree. He waves as I pass and about a minute later, the road explodes under the two cars that were after me. No way did any of those guys survive.

Then the radio voice tells me to drive to some little podunk town and I do and there’s a guy there waiting for me in front of the only gas station. It’s two in the morning and I’m pretty sure we’re the only two people in awake in that town. He takes over driving and when we get back to the Bronx, he gives me a ring to wear and tells me I now work for the Shadow and they’ll be in touch soon. I walk up to my apartment and hit the sack, thinking I got really lucky that night. The next morning, I read about all hell breaking loose in Chinatown and I figure I’ll celebrate my luck by going out for a good breakfast. So here I am, eating my ham and eggs and telling you this because we’re wearing the same ring and I figure I’ll go straight because if I don’t, well, he’ll know.