…she’s a hot dogger
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The Doclopedia #1,979
Unusual Murder Weapons: Robotic Leg
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“My God, Mulder, whatever General Braggman was hit with pretty much tore his head off and shattered it to pulp. It had to be very large and swung at a high rate of speed, just like whatever knocked Karyn Curtis all the way across the lab and into the far wall.”
“You mean like that. I might be wrong, but a 5 fool long, 400 pound robot leg covered in blood and brain tissue looks like a murder weapon to me.”
“Well, that’s definitely it, but nobody could pick that up and swing it hard enough to do this much damage.”
“Nobody human, Scully.”
“Are you saying a robot did this?”
“This is where they were assembling and programming huge advanced robots. That programming station over there seats a 12 foot tall humanoid robot. Maybe one of them didn’t like the fact that General Braggman and Karyn Curtis had recently decided to move from construction robots to weaponized military robots.”
“Oh, come on, Mulder, you can’t be serious.”
“Until you can show me something human that could pulp a man’s head with that 400 pound leg, yes, I am serious.”
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The Doclopedia #1,980
Unusual Murder Weapons: Weed Whacker
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“Golly, Sheriff, I’ve never seen so much blood!”
“Calm down, Jodie. You go over and take a minute to catch your breath while I go talk to Doc Miggins.”
“Okay, Sheriff.”
“So, Doc, what the blue eyed hell happened here?”
“Pretty cut and dried, Lon. The corpse is Old Man Taylor. Can’t tell from the face, but nobody else in town has a tattoo of Hitler getting punched by Superman. Over there, behind that bush is Cal Balden’s gas weed whacker, covered in blood and skin. I guess their 50 year feud finally boiled over. My guess is you’ll find Cal in the house, either praying or drinking.”
“Well, that ends our hope of Willowdale going 20 years without a murder. I guess I’ll go inside and…”
BANG!
“…and take you with me to look at another body.”
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