…slow and slimy, but damn, he’s happy
The Doclopedia #2,544
The Only Way Out: Of This Battle
“No, we can’t surrender. The Miskapor don’t take prisoners. No, we need to hide somewhere. Our army is dead, stuck here in this city. Yeah, the walls are strong and tall, but we’ve already seen a Miskaporan wizard blast away a tower, and you can bet they are calling in more. There are 10,000 of their troops surrounding us and only about 800 of us, and we’re hungry and worn out. If the three of us don’t find a way out, or at least a place to hide, we’re as good as dead.
What? Demonfire? Well, that rules out hiding. Once their catapults lob that in here, the whole place will burn. That leaves finding a way out as our only hope. Let’s go see what we can find in the old museum.
Well, boys, looks like this old liftwood raft is our only hope. I reckon it’ll lift the three of us about 200 feet in the air, IF we strip down to our skivvies. The wood will protect us from arrows, but if a ball of Demonfire or anything else hits us, we’re goners. I doubt our boys in the towers will fire on us, but we’ll have to risk it. Now let’s put some of this other junk on the raft so we can get it outside without it floating away.
Okay, now get on and when I say, push all of this stuff off, lay down flat and hang on to the ropes. We should shoot up to 200 feet pretty fast. Wind is pretty stiff, maybe 15 miles an hour. It’s blowing east, so we’ll be heading toward home, roughly. Alright, you ready? Push off!”
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