…soon to be a major motion picture
The Doclopedia #3,355
Places I Can’t Go To Anymore: Willy’s Tavern, Beavertree, Oregon
Willy’s is a typical beer joint for the locals of the very small town of Beavertree. The whole area is a very politically conservative place and not the most welcoming to outsiders. But there I was, tired and thirsty from driving a couple hundred miles across eastern Oregon, so in I went.
There were two old guys sitting at the bar and one scrawny young guy playing pool alone. The bartender gave me an unimpressed look and I asked for a beer. The one old guy at the bar was just sitting there drinking, but the other was watching the news on TV and bitching about it. I just drank my beer and tried not to look at anything except the stuffed jackalope behind the bar.
And then the scrawny guy started staggering over toward me asking if I was a hippie. I looked at him and said no. He then started making comments about my hair and glasses and stuff. I ignored him, which only pissed him off more.
The old guy who had been arguing with the tv said “Lester, shut up so I can hear the tv.”
Lester responded by walking up to about two feet away from me, saying “Don’t tell me what to do, Uncle Roy.” Then he looks at the picture of my late dog, Roscoe,on my shirt and gets really close, saying “That’s one ugly fucking dog, hippie.”
So I head butted him so hard I broke his nose and knocked him out. Then Uncle Roy said something along the lines of “You son of a bitch!” and tries to punch me.
He missed and I kicked him in the balls hard,putting him on the floor.
So then the bartender told me to get the fuck out, so I did. I was out of town about 2 minutes later.
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