...because the rider was drunk in the saddle The Doclopedia #1,004 Out In The Woods: Bottomless Pond “No, young one, the pond in the woods is not actually bottomless. It has been measured, long ago, as being 2,540 feet deep. That is near enough to bottomless for most people. The pond measures half a … Continue reading Blanco, The Horse Who Knew The Way Home
Tag: fiction
All I Know, I Learned From Old Jim, Who Lived In A Dumpster Behind A Beer Joint
...with his dog, Amos Day 10: In which we say goodbye to friends and our trip ends on an unavoidably sad note. After breakfast and a few hours checking out Vegas, we took our friends home via the old spacey wacey trick. Brian, Caroline, Lauren and Sadie were dropped off at home in Canada, … Continue reading All I Know, I Learned From Old Jim, Who Lived In A Dumpster Behind A Beer Joint
It’s All Fun And Games Until The Garden Gnomes Crave Human Flesh
...and that's why I don't have any of the little bastards. Day 9: In which we travel westward, see strange stuff and cause a small riot in Needles, CA. After a nice big breakfast at the Big Texan Steak Ranch, we drove over to see the Tin Can Giant, which looks much the same … Continue reading It’s All Fun And Games Until The Garden Gnomes Crave Human Flesh
Deep In The Lonely Nights, He Remembered The Dancing Elks
...and then he would smile and take another drink. Day 7 (Con Day 3): In which we eat a big breakfast, do some shopping, then hit the spa before getting back to gaming and Old Time Radio. We all got together and ate a big breakfast at the aptly named “Big Breakfast”. It was … Continue reading Deep In The Lonely Nights, He Remembered The Dancing Elks
Eating Crab Salad In A Gum Tree
...it's a long strange story. Due to major computer problems, I'm posting three days of CatCon 6 posts at once. Hopefully, by Tuesday I'll be able to post from home on a daily basis. CatCon 6 Day 0: In which I give you a quick update before going to bed. Once again the Magic … Continue reading Eating Crab Salad In A Gum Tree
It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Loses An Eye, An Ear, Two Fingers And A Nipple
...which is why you don't roughhouse with lepers Amnesia & Magic Part Seventeen I'm reading the first page, which is in English and all about asking Mother Earth to bless this ritual and confer Her wisdom and a bunch of other stuff. It takes me about a minute and as the last word … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Loses An Eye, An Ear, Two Fingers And A Nipple
This Is Not My Beautiful Mouse
...this is not my beautiful knife Sorry this was so late coming, Gentle Readers. Amnesia & Magic Part Sixteen The Oldest One smiles and nods his head. “Yes, we'll be chatting. I'm going to tell you a few things about what is coming up. We don't have much time, despite how things look.” … Continue reading This Is Not My Beautiful Mouse
The 63 Things You Don’t Want To Stick Up Your Nose
... we could have made the list longer, but we got too grossed out Amnesia & Magic Part Fifteen Try as I might, I can't get myself moving faster than a very slow and jerky sort of speed. This must be what having a super slow motion palsy must be like. Dak looks scared and … Continue reading The 63 Things You Don’t Want To Stick Up Your Nose
The Girl With Green Nipples Goes To Rome
...Rome, Georgia Amnesia & Magic Part Fourteen About a hundred yards behind us and coming up fast is a thirty foot tall humanoid creature that looks like it's made out of the very forest around us. It's got soil and pine needles and rocks and even little trees in it. The eyes look like … Continue reading The Girl With Green Nipples Goes To Rome
Terror Of The Crocodile Women
...it was double billed with The Walking Slime Amnesia & Magic Part Thirteen Ham, eggs, home fries & toast, I'm looking at you with love in my heart. It's a big breakfast, but I'm up to it. Dak is plowing through a plate of sausages and eggs, so we aren't talking too much. The only … Continue reading Terror Of The Crocodile Women
The Stupidly Funny, Yet Also Quite Uplifting, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Completely Crazy Cats
...featuring her wacky pal, Vividly Blue Benny Amnesia & Magic Part Twelve Ok, Ok, I'm waking up here. Stupid damned alarm clock! I'm not even fully awake yet and I slip the ring on my finger. I feel a momentary tingle all over, but other than that, nothing happens. The dream, or whatever it was, … Continue reading The Stupidly Funny, Yet Also Quite Uplifting, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Completely Crazy Cats
The Rare And Beautiful Yellow Winged Eggdropper Stork Of Potawango Island
...the drop eggs on other creatures just for the hell of it. Amnesia & Magic Part Eleven After a few seconds, I recognize who it is: my grandmother, Fawn. Well, actually, I only recognize her because I've seen old paintings and a couple of old photographs of her as a young woman, which is … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Yellow Winged Eggdropper Stork Of Potawango Island
Mister Porkwaffle Experiments With Love
...he actually distills it down to a beverage with a minty fresh taste Amnesia & Magic Part Ten No sooner has my finger hit the button than I realize that without even thinking about it, my other hand is in my pocket touching the ring and the book Everything around us fades just as the … Continue reading Mister Porkwaffle Experiments With Love
The World According To Carp
...it's a rather fishy tale Amnesia & Magic Part Nine I haven't seen Bill in five years, since the FBI consulted with me on the Dotsy Dugan case. He's gotten some gray hair at his temples and it makes him look even sexier than he did before. Parts of me react involuntarily to that. … Continue reading The World According To Carp
How To Make Big Money Without Doing Hardly Any Work!
...just send for our informative booklet, only $15.00 each. Part Eight The energy ball sends sparks and miniature lightning bolts off all around the Hornet and she slows down by about 20 miles an hour. The other car is coming up fast when one of the counterspells I had put on her kicks in … Continue reading How To Make Big Money Without Doing Hardly Any Work!
The Twelve Things You Should Know About Dinosaurs
...#3: Never poke one with a stick! Amnesia & Magic Part Seven As my vision clears and I start to stand up, Hoagie gets his arm around my waist to help me up and Lillian hands me a glass of water. My head clears pretty fast and I know that Dak and I need to … Continue reading The Twelve Things You Should Know About Dinosaurs
Oyster Milkshake
...ewwwwwww! Amnesia & Magic Part Six My name is Michelline Lenore Allen, but everyone calls me Mick, except family, who call me “Snoopy” and my Cherokee grandmother who always called me “Little Fox”. I was born in San Francisco on March 8th, 1895, which means I'm 40 years old. I have an older brother … Continue reading Oyster Milkshake
Junior Muskrat Goes On A Drinking Binge
...mind you, he's mostly drinking cream soda Behold, Gentle Readers, Part Five is up for your perusal and enjoyment. There will be no poll after this one, because Part Six is all about Mick getting her memory back. Amnesia & Magic Part Five Dad Elf grabs one of the Feds from behind and tosses him … Continue reading Junior Muskrat Goes On A Drinking Binge
The Totally Sappy, Yet Still Quite Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty and The Magical Party Dress
...co-starring her pet kitty, Ozymandias Hey, folks, remember to go over to my Facebook page and vote in the poll after you read this! Amnesia & Magic Part Four It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the man and woman with him are his parents. He's looking even better than the … Continue reading The Totally Sappy, Yet Still Quite Thrilling, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty and The Magical Party Dress
My Three Clones
...a wacky sci-fi family sitcom Amnesia & Magic Part Three I'm about to start heading up the steps when a voice behind me says, “Excuse me, miss, but I think you've dropped something”. I don't jump out of my skin, despite every urge to. Instead, I turn around and there's this sweet looking … Continue reading My Three Clones
The California Kid Makes A Quick Escape
...by sliding down a hill on a car hood Amnesia & Magic Part Two He reaches out to take the nickel and our hands touch for just a second. A jolt runs through me and for just a second my vision blurs and the sounds of the street sound like they're being filtered through cotton … Continue reading The California Kid Makes A Quick Escape
Hagfish In A Sports Car
...Yeah, it makes no sense to me, either Amnesia & Magic Poll for Part Two So, as their hands touch for a moment, a jolt runs through Our Heroine and the Elf boy. The question is, what's up with that? A: They experience a quick sort of mind meld, learning a little about each other. … Continue reading Hagfish In A Sports Car
Harry Potter And The Pub Of Wonder
...as in "I wonder how we'll pay our tab?" Dear Readers, Today, we start a twice weekly fiction piece that is guided by voting over on my Facebook page. Yes, the title sucks. I hope you enjoy it and please do go vote on the next part of the story. Amnesia & Magic Part One … Continue reading Harry Potter And The Pub Of Wonder
Lawyers, Buns & Honey
...a much sweeter song than the one Warren Zevon wrote Ok, here are the final two posts for After The Change Came: Series 3. On or about Tuesday, I'll start the Audience Participation Story. After The Change Came Series 3 A Morning For Girding One's Loins I have just finished eating a tasty breakfast … Continue reading Lawyers, Buns & Honey
Pork Tower
...NOT a new comic strip from John Kovalic After The Change Came Series 3 A Day & Night For Getting One's Game On If this post stops abruptly, it's because I've fallen asleep after a day on the go. Here's the fast recap of what went down for me at QuestCon today. Breakfast with friends … Continue reading Pork Tower
