…one of my greatest creations.
Well, here it is, 11:30 at night and I’m about 90% drunk. It has been a busy week for me and so, after Grace and I had a nice taco dinner, I decided to have a pint of Guinness…or 7. Maybe 8, I’ve lost track. Actually, they were a bit more than a pint. Maybe a pint and a quarter. Regardless, I’m pretty heavily relaxed:)
So I’m thinkin’ I need a FAQ. A Doc FAQ. Hell, every other entity on the net has one, so why not me? Here goes…
THE DOC FAQ
1: WHERE DID YOU GET THE NICKNAME DOC?
I never answer that question truthfully, but here are some of the answers I’ve given in the past. “I was a hospital corpsman in Viet Nam” “My parents wanted me to be a doctor” “I’m a descendent of Doc Holliday” “I’m a freelance gynecologist”
2: DO YOU ALWAYS WEAR THOSE RED CONVERSE HIGH TOP SNEAKERS?
No, at work I wear black ones. And often, I go barefoot. But yes, I do wear the red sneakers most of the time. Been doing it for 24 years.
3: IS EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY AS SCREWY AS YOU?
At the very least, yes. In fact, several are way screwier than I am.
4: DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?
As far as I know, I have not sired any offspring. I have been very influential in the raising of my nieces and nephews and several friends children, so no doubt I’ve warped enough youngsters for one lifetime.
5: IS GRACE YOUR FIRST WIFE?
No, my first wife was a dimwitted demoness from Hell. But to be fair, she was very good in the sack. Pity that I forgot that if yer getting the milk for free, you needn’t buy the cow.
6: YOU ALWAYS REFER TO GRACE AS “MY SWEET LITTLE … OF …”. DO YOU EVVER CALL HER THE SAME THING TWICE?
Actually, yes, but not very often. “Tap Dancing Penguin of Love” has popped up a few times, just to name one.
7: YOU OFTEN REFER TO YOUR “WILD AND MISSPENT YOUTH”. COME ON NOW, WAS IT REALLY THAT WILD AND MISSPENT?
More than you can know. There was substance abuse, gambling, rambling, whoring, criminal activity, violence, heroism, stupidity, love, lust, sin, revenge (served hot, not Klingon style), dangerous physical and mental activities, false ID’s, vast quantities of alcohol, near death experiences, a small bit of incarceration, lying, spying, double & triple crosses, firearms, sharp objects, fast women, dangerous punks, larceny, mayhem and willful violation of a great many local/state/federal/international statutes. Good God, it was fun!
Well, since it took me about 20 minutes to write that last paragraph, I reckon I’m ready for bed. More bloggage tomorrow (when I’m not slaving over a hot word processor working on the Pro Writing Job)
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