…with Mr. Porkwaffle, in fact
Subjectivity 2008: The Final Part
Next year, I’ll start on this in October.
Dogs, Cats, Etc.
I have fun with the whole Dogs…Cats…Mice thing. This year, I even did a barnyard version…if the barnyard was in South Central Los Angeles.
Dogs Eating Sweet Potatoes, Cats Eating Turnips, Mice Eating Asparagus
Cows Who Steal Cars, Goats Who Rob Banks, Pigs Who Do Drive Bys
Chocolate Dogs, Ice Cream Cats, Cheescake Mice
Steampunk Dogs, Clockwork Cats, Magical Mice
Fun With Words
Expect more of this in 2009.
A Regal Eagle And A Legal Beagle Help Smeagol Do Something Illegal
A Loose Goose Named Bruce Stuck In A Caboose With An Obtuse Juiced Moose
A Yank High On Crank Sitting In A Tank Near A Bank Having a Wank
Deadman’s Learning Curve
Steamed Punks
Apocalypse Cow
A Square Pig In A Round Hole
Large Hadrosaur Collider
X Marks The Spot, Y Marks The Rover, Z Marks The Fido
Desperately Seeking Sauron
Scorched Mirth Policy
Food
Food…it’s what’s for dinner! Ok, so that is lost on any non USAn readers. I still like it.
Oven Baked Muskrats
Fishburger Soup
A Big Hot Bowl of Ant Soup
Fried Sea Monkey Salad
Creamy Lizard Pudding
Super Yummy Raspberry Pickles
Persimmon Cookie On A Stick
The Ultimate Mug Of CocoaTea
Paw Paw Milkshake
A Large Bag Full Of Toad Sausage
Linguine With Clown Sauce
Chocolate Frosting On A Chicken Fried Steak
Hot Sauce On Cheescake
Giant Sized Pancakes
Pie For The Children
Ham Grenades
How To Cook A Porcupine
12 Gallons Of Lemming Juice
Fruit Popsicles With Meal Worm Crunchies
In The Garden
The garden…my sweet, yet cruel mistress.
The Horticultural Whore Freezes To Death
The Horticultural Whore Sees Red
The Horticultural Whore Is Down
The Horticultural Whore Moves Up The Evolutionary Scale
The Horticultural Whore Keeps Score
The Adventure Of The Grubby Gardener
The Horticultural Whore Set Sail For The Spanish Main
Thrilling Garden Adventures!
Big Worms In Compost Pile D24-Gamma
Attack Of The Lemon Verbena
Strange Stuff
Yeah, ok, so calling this section of this “strange” is redundant.
The Great Canadian Moose Ritual Coverup
Giant Rotifers Ate My Cookies
Gooby, The Musk Ox Who Thought She Was A Dog
Fear And Loathing In Munchkinland
Devil Pigeons With Laser Eyes
Lolcats Ran Off With My Favorite Hamster
Never Lie To A Cow
George The Dinosaur Goes To The Movies
How To Disarm An Antimatter Bomb In 43 Easy Steps
The Blue Puppet Maneuver
Not Responsible For Random Genital Failure
A Late Dinner With Mr. Rabbitface
At Times Like This, We Need Dancing Elks
Putting Mayonnaise On A Cow Is Just Plain Wrong
They Arrived Just In Time For The Monkfish Festival
Sparky The Tubeworm
Silver Eyed Flying Gerbilspiders
Tales Told ‘Round The Campfire
How To Care For Your Pet Xorn
A Child’s Book Of Very Squishy Things
A Day At The Pork Festival
Maiasaurus Mambo
Fungus & Mold Quarterly
Big Blue Chickens With Swords
Return Of The Red Metal Baby Toy
The Utahraptor Mafia
Particle Man VS The Electric Birdhouse
Caution: Contents May Cause Brain Melting
Frank And His Zombie Woof Poodle Go To Montana
Quincy, The Happy Little Shoggoth
The Flea Market Of The Gods
How To Repair Your Transdimensional Gateway Generator For $5,000,000.00 Or Less
Hot Glass Octopi
Bright Yellow Dragon Eyes
Turkey Faced Monsters Are Hiding In Your Closet
Radioactive Fish Products
Wiener Dogs In Space: The Roleplaying Game
Under The Onion Tree
Aliens, Superheroes, Etc, Etc
Any one of these is open for negotiations, Cartoon Network.
The Hot Dog Creatures From Planet Z
Attack Of The Mutant Wiener Dogs
Super Hero Ninja Girl Mizumi
Attack Of The Pasta Men From Mercury
Teenage Monster Girls Get Crazy
Catgirl Yami Rides Again
Zombie Cyborgs From Planet 14
Robotic Pirates From The Earth’s Core
Aardvark-Man, Archenemy Of Evil
Captain Redbeard Versus The Army Of Neat & Tidy Robots
Attack Of The Faceless Zombie Aliens
Jet Girl Romiko Versus The Insect Mecha Army
Cello Playing Nymphos From Hell
Creepy Shit
The past couple of years, I’ve written several really creepy subject lines. I’d say I’m possessed by Satan, but I made satan my bitch years ago.
The Place Where Old People Have Sharp Teeth And Dead Eyes
Hell Night At The Clown Factory
Arthur Has Quite A Collection Of Severed Heads
The Eyeball People Are Waiting For You
Teddy Bears For the Damned
Whatever Is Left Over
Hey, I’m gettin’ sleepy here, ok?
Subjectivity 2007
Dr. Tachyon Comes To Dinner
A Study Of The Drinking Habits Of The California Free Range Celtic White Boy
Just Keep Walkin’, Ambrose
Give Me A Rockin’ Piano Solo With A Side Order Of Saxophone
The Big Shootout At Coyote Gap
The Adventure Of The One Armed Redhead
Raising Hell For Fun and Profit
The Journal Of Roleplaying Gamer Sexuality
You Should Never Dance With A Crazy Lady
The Secret Room Was Full Of Treasures
You Should Never Get Drunk And Wake Up In Middle Earth
Giving Cooking Lessons To Dogs
The Story Of The Wolf Among The Sheep
Dancing With Wombats, Starring Robin D. Laws
Not In This Issue: Goldfish, Communists Or Marbled Rye Bread
Learning To Scream
Well…Butter My Ass And Call Me A Biscuit!
Rocket Powered Babies
Being A Good Neighbor…Yer Doin’ It Wrong
The Knight Is Always Darkest Just Before The Dawn
Moondog Mayhem
Nuclear Powered Pogosticks With Optional Laser Beams
In Case Of Insanity, Break Glass…LOTS Of Glass
Dames, Diamonds, Dope & Death
They Took The “A” Train, But Never Gave It Back
The League Of Extraordinary Middle Aged Gamers
X
A Last Long Kiss Before Fading Away
Scarlet Dreams
146 Erotic Uses For Play Doh
Black Ice Hotel
Dinner In The Gobbler Green Zone
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
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