…one of Sherlock Holmes’ strangest cases
The Doclopedia #51
Things That Blow Up Real Good: Woolongi Lizards
At around 16 inches long, chubby of form and colored brown & tan to look like a rock, the Woolongi Lizards fit right in with their Australian outback home. They eat a wide variety of insects and arachnids, with the odd mouse thrown in for good measure. They are, by and large, pretty inoffensive creatures when not disturbed.
However, when they are disturbed, they become extremely offensive. That’s because they “explode” in a burst of noxious bodily waste.
You see, the Woolongi Lizard has eight rectal openings instead of the usual one. There are two on each side, two on the back, one on the forehead and the usual one under the tail. Normally, only the rear one is used, but when threatened, the lizard can release from all of them. The excrement, held in a special sack, is very liquid and one of the 10 worst smelling substances on earth. Thanks to the lizards diet, it is also mildly toxic and caustic. Very few creatures will mess with a Woolongi Lizard twice.
The actual “explosion” is caused by stomach gases (hence the chubby form of the lizard) propelling the waste out at a considerable pressure to a distance of about a meter. The lizard precedes this release with a few seconds of croaking, thus giving predators a chance to get away and itself a chance to avoid releasing the waste. If the predator doesn’t get the hint, it’s shit storm time.
About the only successful predator of the Woolongi Lizard is the Striped Crow, which will swoop in fast, drop a small rock on the lizard, they fly off too quickly to get hit by the explosion. After 2 or 3 times, the lizard has exhausted his supply of waste and the crow moves in for the kill.
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