…if David Byrne shoots me, that will be why.
The Doclopedia #295
Technobabble: We Haz It!: Psionic Temporal Rift Adjuster
As demonstrated by Professor Ferbingerber at the Dundalk Institute of Technology and Barber College, you can indeed open, close and adjust temporal rifts using psionic energy as generated in the brain of the average teenager by using his device. Rifts can also be enlarged to as much as 20′ across or moved as far as 105′ in any direction. The device is fairly compact, weighs less than 20 pounds and runs on four D cell batteries and a bit of motor oil.
Indeed, the only drawback to using this device seems to be finding an average teenager who gives a rat’s ass about advancing the study of temporal physics.
The Doclopedia #296
Technobabble: We Haz It!: Oscillating NeuroBlaster With Optional Q Ray Generator
Anybody who is even thinking of hunting kaiju monsters should seriously consider buying one of these weapons. Even without the Q Ray Generator, it is fully capable of paralyzing a Gojira level kaiju at a range of just under a mile. If capture is not in the cards, the Q Ray Generator will fire at a rate of 88 shots per second, with each shot blasting a 4 inch hole clear through the target.
One word of warning: Be 100% sure that your battery pack is fully charged! Anything less than a 90% charge will just piss the kaiju off.
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