…ok, so there might be a little cruelty
The Doclopedia #896
Alt. Santa Claus: Santa, The Great And Powerful
So yeah, this one time, Santa was coming into this little town in Kansas on Christmas Eve and there was this freak tornado, a really humongous one! It sucked up Santa and his sleigh and the reindeer and a few elves that, you know, ride along with Santa to do tech support and shit. They all whirled around and got hella dizzy and stuff and then the next thing they knew, the tornado just faded away and they crash landed in this place that wasn’t EVEN Kansas. I mean, dude!
Once Santa made sure that nobody was, you know, dead and shit, he looked around and said “Holy crap, dudes, we’re in fuckin’ Oz!” and dude, they WERE! It kinda freaked out the reindeer and one of the older elves had to take a pill for his heart, but mostly they just tried to figure out what to do next.
Well, anyway, there was some shit with witches and freaky people made out of freaky shit and those scary fuckin’ flying monkeys. After that, Santa and his buds went to the Emerald City and he became like the new Wizard. First thing he did was to get a bunch of Munchkins and other little people to come work in his new toy factory. Once they built like, a zillion toys, Santa did his regular thing and delivered them to all of the kids and little talking animals and shit. It was pretty cool.
So, like, Santa mostly does his Santa gig once a year, then the rest of the time he drops houses on evil witches and kicks ass on Nome Kings and shit. It’s hella cool, dude.
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