More Songs About Aardvarks And Plums

…they’re real toe tappers
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The Doclopedia #1,641

Recipes For The Devout Worshiper: The Most Blessed And Holy Breakfast Loaf Of The Pure Hearted
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What You Will Require

6 slaves, preferably Ulugs, but Milonto’s will do, if properly trained

½ pound of holiest Red Grain flour

1 cup ripe Vaa Berries

½ cup of Lurm Milk, blessed by the Most High Mother of the Blind God

2 eggs from either a Tuak or a Giff

1 cup of chopped, dried & smoked Seena Sausage

½ pound crushed and soaked Pimmel Rice
1 once of the Nine Sacred Spices of Kupzatt the Judging Goddess

2 ounces of Tubon Fat, melted at night while singing sacred songs

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3 mixing bowls made of silver and prayed over for 1 hour each
A Blessed Stirring Spoon
A Hez Wood Masher

A steel loaf pan etched with the 37 Runes of Purity and Devotion.

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Preparation

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After performing the Third Ritual of Banishing Impure Thoughts, have 3 of your slaves prepare the kitchen, including starting a fire in your Oven of Fiery Redemption/

Have the other 3 slaves bathe you in water scented with Squink Urine. Then have then dress you in the Robes of the Most Devout Chef. Once that is done, banish them to your House of Sin Removal for flogging and preaching.

Take the Pimmel Rice and place it in one of the bowls. Use the Hez Wood Masher to pound it into a paste.

When the paste is made, add the flour, milk and spices. Use the spoon to stir it up. STIR ONLY 14 TIMES, LEST YOU BECOME TAINTED WITH SIN!

Add the berries, eggs, sausage and fat.

Pray for 15 seconds to R’rakk that you are worthy.
Using the spoon, stir the mix exactly 21 times anticlockwise. It is good if you recite the 6 Virtues of R’rakk as you do this.

Set the mix aside for 10 minutes while you wash your hands in Yinf Bile, then water, then Sacred Pool Water.

Put the mix into the loaf pan and have your tallest slave put it in the oven. Bake for 25 minutes or until well browned on top. During this time, kneel before your chosen Kitchen Idol and pray while your shortest slave recites the Hymn of Soul Cleansing.

When the loaf is out of the oven, order it to be put on a platter. Leave it to cool for exactly 39 minutes. Lie very still on your Punishment Bed while waiting.

Once the loaf is cooled, you may eat it, but if your heart is not pure, Wormlings from the Hell of Gore will erupt fron your chest and devour you.
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