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The Doclopedia #1,832
Places I Can’t Go Anymore: The Forest Of The Fairies
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I was traveling from Kaviristan to Ispedalia to attend the Midsummer Poetry and Bardic Sing Off when I unfortunately took a wrong turn in the Wooded Hills of Grobe.
Now, you may or may not know that in those very wooded hills lies the Forest of the Fairies. It’s a totally different sort of forest from that which surrounds it, very tall pines and lots of ferns and flowering vines. Birds and smaller animals are found in abundance there. And so are fairies of every conceivable type.
As I tried to get out of the Grobe Woods, I suddenly, and I do mean SUDDENLY, found myself in the great pine forest I described above. The change was so sudden, I became a bit dizzy and stumbled over a root, falling flat on my face. When I raised my head, a 6 inch tall green fairy riding a badger was right in front of me.
Not being a savage, I stood up and introduced myself. The fairy told me to follow him, so I did. After a few minutes, we came to a fairy town of impressive size. Fairy homes were built right on the trees and went from just above ground level up to perhaps 90 feet. There were at least 1,000 of them that I could see.
Soon, I was surrounded by hundreds of flying fairies, including the Fairy King & Queen, who were most gracious. Soon, I was eating and drinking with the whole town. There was music and dancing and merriment.
As happens when one drinks, I needed to go relieve myself. I asked a young gentleman where I might go and he said to follow the path to the 6th tree. Feeling a bit light headed from fairy brew, I started off down the trail. When I got to what I thought was the 6th tree, I let flow.
Just about the time I was zipping up, a fairy flew by, saw where I had peed and began yelling “The human has pissed upon the Grandmother Tree!” I was sure this was not a good thing and was confirmed of that when the great tree began to make a low rumble and the entire population of the town started coming down the trail after me. I decided I should leave at all possible speed.
I ran down the thankfully straight trail as fast as I could go, avoiding both fairy spears and swinging tree branches. After about 15 minutes, I realized that I was out of the Fairy Wood and back in the Grobe Woods. I continued running for a bit, just to be sure.
And that, good sir, is why I, and possibly any other human, cannot go back into the Forest of Fairies.
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