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The Doclopedia #2,104
Guest Authors Write Warning Labels: Inflatable Armor
By Kevin Rice
Inflatable Armor ™ is fun for the whole family! It makes you bounce like a ball! It protects you from falls! The kids love it!
WARNING: Inflatable Armor ™ offers no protection from harm! Do not wear Inflatable Armor ™ if you reasonably expect to fall down or otherwise encounter an impact.
Under no circumstances should children be allowed to play with, touch or in any way experience Inflatable Armor ™ . Children exposed to Inflatable Armor ™ , may experience swelling, become lighter than air and explode as they enter the upper atmosphere.
Adults wearing Inflable Armor ™ may experience increased flatulence for up to two weeks after removing Inflatable Armor ™ and should beware of open flames due to the percentage of hydrogen on this flatulence. The wearer may also experience voice changes and an inexplicable feeling of lightness. If experiencing feelings of lightness get indoors immediately and anchor yourself to a heavy object. Please see children’s warning above.
If Inflable Armor ™ is punctured while worn then Blammo, Inc. is not responsible for the resultant propulsive force generated, any possible explosions or property loss due to fire.
Everyone here at Blammo, Inc. hopes you enjoy your Inflatable Armor ™ !
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The Doclopedia #2,106
Guest Authors Write Warning Labels: STEAM POWERED DOG
By Quentin Long
Greetings to enjoined the FUELSAVER® family! With abundant caution, your FUELSAVER STEAM POWERED DOG™ must yield trillions of yoctoseconds of unbearable fun for all living relatives! To be follow simplistic rulings will harvest extreme diversion unto Allan Sundries:
• Remove for walking STEAM POWERED DOG in daily recursion of 30-90 minutes
• In case of STEAM POWERED DOG™ exhibits unwarranted sadness, reserve 10% DISCOUNT PURCHASING PRICE of alternative STEAM POWERED DOG™ for emotionless support structions
• DO NOT emplace inorganic solids within FEEDING OF BURNER
• DO NOT adjust intensity dial of SIMULATED LASER BARK SIMULATOR™ beyond altitude of 1 2
• Maintain hotbox temperature of not greatly less than 1,000° RANKINE for all time to come
• Insure comparable ABSENCE OF BLOCKAGE of steam ventricle, exception of desired explosive unblockage
• Carefully exercise taunting of STEAM POWERED DOG™
• STEAM POWERED DOG™ loves FUELSAVER®. STEAM POWERED DOG™ loves you. STEAM POWERED DOG™ has heart of incandescence for everything and everyone at everywhere in everywhen
IMPORTANT: FUELSAVER® is parental company not responsible for damage to dignity, property, lives, limb, organ, healthful, banking operation, ontological presupposition, which may or may not have been inflicts by unproperly operatored STEAM POWERED DOG™
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