…co-starring Eddie Klamont and Cecil Purklins
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A Short Lecture
Writing Your Novel
First of all, let’s forget that whole write a novel in a month foolishness. No, if you decide to write a novel, you need to take as long as it takes. Of course, if you take too long, people’s reading tastes might change, so try to keep it under 5 years or so.
Now, before you can actually do any writing, you need to get set up with the proper equipment. Start with a good solid desk and a comfortable writing chair. Not too comfortable, or you may end up with a napping chair. That would slow down progress on your novel considerably.
Next, you’ll need a good typewriter, or, if you are one of those modern types, a word processor. Please remember that a word processor does not work like a food processor, unless you happen to be William S. Burroughs. Which we both know you are not.
You’ll also want a dictionary and a thesaurus, which is not a dinosaur. A pad of paper and a pencil will let you scribble down ideas or doodles. Again, these doodles would not be the dog variety.
Finally, you’ll need a bottle of liquor and a glass. This is very important. If you don’t believe me, ask pretty much any author. I’d almost say the liquor is more important than the writing desk, although a writing desk full of liquor would be about as important a tool as a writer could ask for.
Once you have the equipment you need, you must decide on what genre you will write in and how long your novel will be. I think most readers like either a good mystery or a rousing adventure. You could even have a rousing mystery adventure. Try to add a bit of romance, too, since that will go over well when they turn your novel into a movie.
Having done all of the above, all you need to do now is sit down, have a drink of that liquor and write your novel. I’m sure we’ll all be eager to read it.
Good day.
The Dociverse Blog 