Spango!

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The Doclopedia #2,242

Drinks For The Devout Worshiper: The Sin Releaser

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Oh, ye vile sinner, drinketh of this potent brew and let thine sins be released into the night are, to drift far away.

First, you must have your most trusted female slaves brew up one gallon of essence of Mouseflower, which they will then allow to ferment in the manner detailed in the Third Scroll of Plimm The Wise. When it has fully fermented, they must hand it off to a Priestess of Plimm. She will reduce it to one quart of Dask liquor.

While all of that goes on, you must have three young boys from devout homes go pick enough spogberries to make a quart of spogberry juice. Then they must squeeze the juice while singing the 33rd Hymn of Soul cleansing.

Have your eldest slave go out and buy you four ounces of flamewater from the largest Temple in the area. When the slave returns, command them to lie on the floor and recite the 9 Holy Facts while another slave plays a flute.

Finally, go to your store room and get one pint of mogobean syrup.

When all is ready, mix the ingredients together in a large bowl while your nearest female relative beats you with a shoe and recites your sins.

Fill a cup with the drink and consume it, you filthy sinning animal. Drink at least 3 cups of it. More, if you have many terrible sins.

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The Doclopedia #2,243

Drinks For The Devout Worshiper: Double Blessing

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For those seeking to battle foul evil or godless heretics, drink deeply of this most blessed beverage.

You will need the following items.

3 ounces of Gosaran wine, blessed by a priestess of Gosara

3 ounces of the pepperwine of the Southern Monks of Yin, blessed in the Ritual of Blood

3 ounces of morning dew from your Garden of Faith, harvested by no more that three of your servants

To prepare, strip naked and do the Dance of Everlasting Joy. While dancing, pour the ingredients into your thrice blessed Holy Shaker.

Shake exactly 38 times as you continue to dance. Recite the Prayer for a Clean Mind.

Stop dancing and begin drinking while four of your servants flagellate you with Whips of Strong Determination.

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