…and are soon fired
The Doclopedia #2,669
More Annotated Entries: Warning Labels: Do It Yourself Monster Kit
WARNING: Failure to read the following could result in death, destruction, madness and the end of civilization as we know it. (A government inquiry found that fully 52% of purchasers ignored these warnings.)
1: Your Do It Yourself Monster Kit is designed for the creation of a single monster of up to 8 feet in height and 1,600 pounds in weight. Creation of monsters larger than that will reduce their mental stability and your ability to control them. (Mental institutions saw a spike in admissions.)
2: While more than one kit can be combined to create very large monsters, it is not recommended and will void your warranty. (Most of the people who did this were between the ages of 12 and 40. All were male.)
3: The Do It Yourself Monster Kit does not allow monsters to reproduce. Making any modifications to the kit to allow reproduction will void your warranty and almost certainly result in your death. (An estimated 3,500 deaths, plus several hundred baby monsters.)
4: Do It Yourself Monsters do not play well with others. If you create and activate more than one, there will be a fight that you cannot control. Even if one monster destroys another, the winner will now be berserk. ($11.25 billion dollars in damages in just the United States as of current year 2020.)
5: Failure to feed your Do It Yourself Monster regularly will result in a loss of control and serious rampaging. (Most users had no idea how much or what a monster ate.)
6: Do It Yourself Monster Kits may not be legal in all areas. Please consult local laws. (They are illegal in all countries except North Korea, where only the military has any.)
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