The Scary, But Also Funny, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Attack Of The Snot Creatures

…Co-starring her older brother, Almost Red Ed

The Doclopedia #2,682

The Day I Finally…: Started Breeding Komodo Dragons

Idea courtesy of David Bolack on Facebook

You know, I figured the exotic pet market was ripe for something really exotic, so I bought two male and four female komodo dragons off a guy I know. They were only about 4 feet long, but really healthy.

I put them in a really sturdy fenced area, fed them a dozen chickens every few days, and brother, they grew fast. About 6 months later, the females all laid eggs. I gathered up the eggs while the adilts were eating some goats. When they hatched, I had 34 more komodo dragons! Cool, right?

I let them grow to about 2 feet long, then put ads up online. About two hours later, 12 cop cars, 8 cars full of Feds, 5 helicopters, and a truckload of soldiers surrounded my house. I was told that importing, owning, breeding and selling komodo dragons was a felony and If I didn’t give them up, I go to prison for about 20 years.

So now I’m raising these totally legal dwarf hamsters, which are way easier and cheaper to house and feed.