...for dogs! The Doclopedia #821 Weights & Measures: 56.75 Pounds 16.75 pounds is the weight of the dead alien that was pulled from a small spacecraft that crashed onto the field during Superbowl XXXIV. Given that tens of millions of people from around the world witnessed the event, which killed 5 players and injured … Continue reading Dog Rice: The Perfect Food?
Chapter 577: In Which Our Hero, Assisted By Ted The Basset Hound And A Halfwitted American, Breaks Into The Church Bank And Steals A Ton Of Gold
...the American was of little use, actually. The Doclopedia #819 Weights & Measures: 1.25 Cups This is the volume of the Great Protoplasmic Blob when it was initially created by Professor Kimbly on May 3rd, 1883, just 21 days before it destroyed London. At first, the GPB was kind of cute, in a blobby … Continue reading Chapter 577: In Which Our Hero, Assisted By Ted The Basset Hound And A Halfwitted American, Breaks Into The Church Bank And Steals A Ton Of Gold
It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Wakes Up The Golem
...and then you can't find the right rabbi The Doclopedia #817 It's In The Bag!: The Silk Pouch “You...you're Sally Smithfield? Heh...I thought you'd be taller. Huh, what? Oh, Conrad...Orville Conrad. But..*cough, cough*...that's not important. No, not enough time for an ambulance. Those Nazi bastards got me good. Now you listen, Sally. You've gotta...*cough, cough, … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Wakes Up The Golem
Primitive Peonies Polluted My Poppies
...now my poppies must try to live with that The Doclopedia #816 It's In The Bag!: The Burlap Sack “Lem! Lem! Oh Lordy, Lem, you gotta see this! It's a piece off one of them outer space ships like they write about in them magazines down at Foster's Store! I seen the ship an' … Continue reading Primitive Peonies Polluted My Poppies
Interesting Facts About Birds
...titmice are not mice and they have no tits The Doclopedia #815 It's In The Bag!: The Black Plastic Garbage Bag “Oh my lord! Jimmy Eversol, you scared five years growth off of me! Hon, you need to cough or something when you walk up behind a person. Oh there, it's ok. You just … Continue reading Interesting Facts About Birds
Tune In Next Week For…The Adventures Of Aircat!
...sponsored by Cat's Deli The Doclopedia #813 It's In The Bag!: The Brown Paper Bag “Now listen, Eddie, cos this is real simple. You an' Tony are gonna get in his car and drive out to Long Island to the address I give you. When you get there, you give this Dr. Sindawal guy … Continue reading Tune In Next Week For…The Adventures Of Aircat!
Adventure Module Y-1: Attack Of The Gopher People
...the first of a trilogy The Doclopedia #810 My Evil Twin: Edmund (Edmund Metheny) The Evil Twin of Edmund Metheny is Edmund Metheny, a humorless S.O.B. who fell trough an interdimensional rift into our universe. This dominating, cruel and heartless scumbag is the band of Edmund's existence. In addition, Evil Twin Ed has … Continue reading Adventure Module Y-1: Attack Of The Gopher People
The Adventure Of The Cornwall Creeper
...as told by Dr. John H. Watson, MD The Doclopedia #808 My Evil Twin: La Strega (Diane Russom Harrison) Nobody knows for sure why La Strega is spying on Diane, but she insists that “that bitch” is, in fact, watching her every move. Actually, nobody in Diane's family has ever even seen La Strega, … Continue reading The Adventure Of The Cornwall Creeper
Six Million Yellow Hippos
...your mental image for the day The Doclopedia #806 My Evil Twin: Arthur Whitmore (Brandon Blackmoor) For the first 25 years of his life, Brandon Blackmoor was completely unaware that he even had an Evil Twin. Oh sure, every once in a while he'd notice a shadowy figure watching him from an alley, but he … Continue reading Six Million Yellow Hippos
Pee Wee Santos And The Death Ride Of Terror
...for years after that, Pee Wee had a nervous tic The Doclopedia #805 My Evil Twin: Zimondo (Simon Rogers) No doubt about it, Simon Rogers was a darned good looking man. With his devilish good looks and impeccable fashion sense, Simon was admired by men and lusted after by women. He looked so good … Continue reading Pee Wee Santos And The Death Ride Of Terror
I Rested My Kindle On An IPad In A Nook
...and suddenly gained super powers! The Doclopedia #804 My Evil Twin: Francis Mary (Mary Garrett) Mary Francis was, by and large, a very nice lady. Everyone she met agreed that she was helpful, pleasant and generally not a troublemaker. She was just a really sweet and average kind of person. When her Evil Twin, … Continue reading I Rested My Kindle On An IPad In A Nook
Not In This Issue: Cookies, Smelt And Canadian Humor
...despite the fact that I know many humorous Canadians The Doclopedia #803 The Birds & The Bees: Making Love The Mutant Way Well, it all depends on what kind of mutant you are, don't it? I mean, if your a human/dog mutant, the sex is all casual and such. Oh, sure once it … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Cookies, Smelt And Canadian Humor
Handsome Joe Has A Dream
...he dreams about hotdogs and a new squeaky toy. The Doclopedia #800 The Birds & The Bees: Sex on Altairus 3 The Important thing to remember, young hatchling, it that every female receptive to breeding is an insane female. If you do not approach them properly, they will slay you, then eat you. Approach … Continue reading Handsome Joe Has A Dream
One Does Not Just Dance Into Mordor Gangnam Style
...if you do, cave trolls will smash you flat The Doclopedia #798 The Birds & The Bees: Sex in Fantasy Land It's like this, son: when a prince and a princess want to be together, the princess first has to get cursed in some way by an evil witch or stepmother or some other … Continue reading One Does Not Just Dance Into Mordor Gangnam Style
Damn You, Dancing Elks, For Being So Talented
... oh, how we hate your graceful elegance The Doclopedia #795 New Products For Geeks: Dungeons & Donuts Attention gaming geeks, a new shop is opening in your area: Dungeons & Donuts. Now you can enjoy a wide variety of fresh hot donuts, delicious coffee & hot cocoa and great gaming! We have large … Continue reading Damn You, Dancing Elks, For Being So Talented
Frog Collector Magazine
... now monthly! The Doclopedia #793 New Products For Geeks: Steampunk Crunch If you're a fan of steampunk, you'll love new Steampunk Crunch! It has tasty oat & rice cereal in the shape of gears with delicious berry flavored goggles, ray guns, top hats and airships! Sweetened with real honey and packed with vitamins, … Continue reading Frog Collector Magazine
It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Drops The Soap
...even then, somebody may be having fun The Doclopedia #791 Guardians: The Guardian of the Eye Deep in the uncharted jungles of southeast Asia, carved from the living rock of a remote mountain, is a statue of the Great God Aggamar and set in his forehead is the All Seeing Eye of Aggamar. The … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Drops The Soap
My Life Among The People Who Pretend To Be Other People
...and carry around lots of dice The Doclopedia #789 Guardians: Billy the Bear It was lonely as hell, way out in the Sierra Nevada Mountains where Jonas McCabe had his gold mine. So, when Jonas found an orphan California grizzly bear cub, he decided he’d found a friend, too. Named the little feller Billy … Continue reading My Life Among The People Who Pretend To Be Other People
Don’t Go Shooting At Rosebushes
...no, really. That's just wrong. The Doclopedia #786 Guardians: The Guarding Dust of Hawking 4 182 light years from Earth lies the star Hawking A and the 7 planets that orbit it. The fourth planet, Hawking 4 (unofficially called “Rocky”), is the only one possessed of an earth-like atmosphere and ecology. As it’s common … Continue reading Don’t Go Shooting At Rosebushes
And Now, Two Ducks In A Shopping Cart
...with funny hats! The Doclopedia #784 Scoundrels & Scalawags: Cap’n Priscilla Panther On Planet Toon, Cap’n Panther is the scourge of the 27 Seas! Along with the crew of her ship, “The Rampaging Loon”, she sails around looking for fat merchant ships to plunder. Barring that, she will plunder skinny merchant ships. She is … Continue reading And Now, Two Ducks In A Shopping Cart
The Rare And Beautiful Electrical Orange Trees Of Potawango Island
...electric oranges have powerful juice The Doclopedia #781 Scoundrels & Scalawags: The Red Feather Thief Almost nothing is known about The Red Feather Thief. Male? Female? Young? Not so young? Race? Looks? Nobody knows, except maybe the crew that works with him/her. What is known is that Red Feather has mad criminal skills, plenty … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Electrical Orange Trees Of Potawango Island
Doc Tempest VS The Ghost Pirates
...from the July, 1957 issue The Doclopedia #779 Scoundrels & Scalawags: Captain Squawky Captain Squawky is a mutant African Grey parrot who somehow absorbed the intellect of Captain Josiah Wilks…better known as Captain Satan, the most evil pirate ever to set sail. Captain Satan and Squawky were sailin' mates from a very early age, … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Ghost Pirates
Three Men In A Hovercraft
...to say nothing of the duck The Doclopedia #776 Direct To Video: Cthulhu Beach Party (1986) It's a 1960's style beach party movie combined with a horror movie and played for laughs! While teenage love blossoms on the beach to the sounds of surf revival bands, a group of cultists try to awaken Great … Continue reading Three Men In A Hovercraft
Toe Stretching Workout
... start with your pinky toes The Doclopedia #774 Direct To Video: Citizen Kane 2: Rosebud's Revenge (1996) In this truly wretched movie, the spirit of Charles Foster Kane inhabits a replica of his beloved childhood sled, Rosebud, and causes it to kill people in the small town or Turgid Falls, Michigan. The psycho … Continue reading Toe Stretching Workout
Never Make A Hamburger Out Of Ham
...it really freaks people out. The Doclopedia #771 Readers Secret Identities: Peter, The Aristocratic Thief (Peter Hildreth) Peter was the suave and handsome heir to wealth and privilege. His father, the Ninth Duke of Earl, was the Minister of Doing Stuff That Sounds Really Vital and his mother was born a Princess to some … Continue reading Never Make A Hamburger Out Of Ham
