…as written by John H. Watson, M.D.
The Doclopedia #310
Cool Shoes: The Spirit Boots
Anyone wearing these well worn cowboy boots will gain all of the abilities of a ghostly spirit. They will be able to fade into or out of view, pass through solid objects, float slowly through the air and emit a terrifying moan. The terrifying moan only works on humans. Animals will just look at you as if to say “Huh?”.
The Spirit Boots are highly prized among people who want to fight crime and those folks who just enjoy scaring the shit out of others. Sometimes these two goals overlap.
The Spirit Boots look like old beat up cowboy boots that probably ought to be tossed out. Only the decoration of a ghost on the side of the boots identifies them for what they really are.
The Doclopedia #311
Cool Shoes: The Hot Sneakers
Are you less that a sex symbol, lookswise? Are you average looking or below on the appearance scale? Are you so ugly that you have to get yourself drunk just to masturbate? Well there’s good news for you! If you can locate and put on the Hot Sneakers, you can become a total hottie, irresistible to the opposite (and even many of the same) sex. By the time you finish lacing up these polka dot sneakers, you will have transformed into a hunka hunka burnin’ sexy.
But what about during the naked horny times, you ask? Must I wear the sneakers while I’m doing the horizontal tango? No, my friend, you don’t. The transformation will remain in effect for up to 6 hours after you remove the sneakers. After that, you’ll need to wear them for at least 4 hours before you can take them off.
These sneakers look just like yellow Converse high tops with big green polka dots. The green flames on the rubber toe of each shoe lets you know that these are the real deal. Please do be aware that these are by far the most sought after Cool Shoes and there are ugly people out there who will kill you for them.
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