…it’s a 128 page book
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The Doclopedia #1,623
It’s All Fun & Games Until…: You Dig Up Old Mr. Flory
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“Thanks, Jim Bob. I been thinkin’ about a cold beer all day. So like I was sayin’, me and Bubba Franks got this job to go up to Floryville and dig up the graves at the cemetery so they can move all them dead folks a mile up the road to the new cemetery. That old one’s gonna be underwater when the dam on Willow Creek gets built.
We been averagin’ about a couple dozen graves a day these past 5 days, and we started with the newest ones. Work is pretty easy with me on the Bobcat and Bubba doin’ some shovelin’. Anyway, today we got into the part of the place where folks who died back in the 1880s are buried. Lotta them coffins are pretty much rotted away, so the state has a team of 6 people to carefully remove everything after we did down close to the remains.
Well, around about 1:00 today, we got to Old Man Flory himself, the guy who founded the town. Now, his headstone was fancy, so everyone knew he was probably buried fancy, too. We’re diggin’ down slow and easy, with Bubba and a couple of those specialists keepin’ an eye out for the coffin, which was supposed to be made of stone.
Well, I was about to remove one more foot of dirt when all holy hell broke loose. There was a big kaboom and the stone lid to that coffin came flyin’ off and me and the Bobcat got knocked over on one side. Then another kaboom sends Old Man Flory himself flying out of the grave and damned if he don’t land on top of Bubba and them two other guys. Then fire starts shootin’ up outta that grave and everyone was runnin’ and screamin’ and I’ll tell you right now, I might be old and fat, but I came outta that Bobcat like a teenager with his ass on fire.
The sheriff got there pretty fast and him and two deputies calmed everyone down and then they had a look around. Turns out they found the explanation written down on some paper that Old Flory had buried with him in 1889. See, that old son of a bitch thought somebody might rob his grave, so he rigged up bombs and shit to go off like they did. That body was a fake and Old Man Flory is buried in some secret spot. I ask ya, Jim Bob, what kind of crazy asshole does stuff like that?
Anyway, ain’t no way Bubba is ever goin’ back up there and I’m callin’ it quits, too. There’s a bunch of Flory’s buried up there and they all might have been as crazy as the Old Man.”
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The Doclopedia #1,624
It’s All Fun & Games Until…: The Killdroids Get There
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“Go, Rek, go! They’re right behind us! Finish loading that launched, Hrika! Damn, there must be 20 of them hot on our asses!
Give that to me, Pifa. Hello, Captain. Shut up, sir and listen to me! We’ve got hundreds of Killdroids coming out of the Medvec facility. Yes, HUNDREDS! It was a trap. The Drisartans are all dead. I’m pretty sure FreeBot was behind this.
Yes, sir, we’re staying ahead of them, but you need to destroy the Drisartan ships and get ready to lift off as soon as we get inside the cargo bay. We…give that to me, Hrika. HA! That took out five of them. Hello, Captain? Yes, sir, plasma launcher. So, get ready to scramble, sir. We’ll be there in about 10 minutes. Out.
Okay, you metal ulk chasers, eat some hot plasma death!
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