…I was too drunk to drive
The Doclopedia #2,691
The Eyes Have It: The Five Eyed Giant
“There it is, gentlemen, the Five Eyed Giant of Ranjipur. 100 feet tall, solid stone superbly carved, and sporting those five huge gems as eyes. Diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and another, bright yellow, diamond. Gems that we shall soon have!
Oh, yes, the curse. The one stating that if the gems are disturbed, the statue will come to life and exact a terrible revenge, not stopping until all involved are dead. You’ll hear many such curses in India, I assure you. But now, let’s get those gems!
What? They all ran off? Superstitious idiot! Well, fortunately for us, young Fritz here is an expert climber and will have our treasure soon. Go on, lad, start climbing.”
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