...for a rest and a drink The Doclopedia #2,692 The Eyes Have It: Bug Eyed Tommy FBI File #4421-66-B Name: Thomas Luigi MortellaAliases: Tommy Morton, T.L. MadisonDescription: Average height, 165 pounds, black hair, brown eyes. Left handed. Multiple scars listed on reverse. Pronounced eye bulge due to illness as a child. Walks with a slight … Continue reading You Should Stop Here →

...I was too drunk to drive The Doclopedia #2,691 The Eyes Have It: The Five Eyed Giant “There it is, gentlemen, the Five Eyed Giant of Ranjipur. 100 feet tall, solid stone superbly carved, and sporting those five huge gems as eyes. Diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and another, bright yellow, diamond. Gems that we shall … Continue reading That Time I Let A Dog Drive Me Home →

...pretty good, actually The Doclopedia #2,690 The Eyes Have It: Laser Eyes Laser eyes are expensive, yo. Dirty Gus got one as a third eye and it cost him 200,000 green. Shit, bro, he coulda got an Electro Z for less than that! Chicks see a laser eye and they don't GAF, cos you be … Continue reading Wino Ballet →

...or ice cream The Doclopedia #2,689 The Eyes Have It: The Eye Beast Of Grixx If you are an adventurer on FantasyEarth 753-D, you've heard of the Eye Beast of Grixx. You know that legend and even a few surviving eye witnesses tell how the Triad of Evil used their dying words to create an … Continue reading Not As Much Fun As Sex →