...harrumph! I say! The Doclopedia #413 The Alphabet, Again: G is for...Guys Wearing Floppy Hats Guys Wearing Floppy Hats (GWFH) was one of the hottest musical groups of the 1980's. They had a string of hits beginning with “You Can Wear My Hat” and peaking with “Big & Floppy”. They deftly combined swing, disco & … Continue reading The Journal Of The Royal Society Of Stuffy Old Gents
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
Please Deposit $100,000.00 For This Post
...even if only a couple of you do it, I'm debt free YOW! I'm not fully packed up for Dundracon yet, plus there are about 35 gazillion things to do here at The D&G Home for Spoiled Hounds. See, this is why I have to take blood pressure pills. At any rate, I found time … Continue reading Please Deposit $100,000.00 For This Post
Perky Twits
...everybody hates them The Doclopedia #411 The Alphabet, Again: F is for...Feline Telekinesis Syndrome What is Feline Telekinesis Syndrome?: Although not fully understood by the scientific and medical establishment, it appears that FTS causes cats to manifest the ability to move things merely by thinking of it. In most cases, the afflicted cat can only … Continue reading Perky Twits
The 13 Things You Never Want Have In Your Pants
...#6: Weasels! A Call For Suggestions Gentle Readers, I need your help with the Doclopedia. In a couple of months, I want to do between 30 and 60 posts on the theme of “Subject Line Madness”, in which each entry will expand upon some of the nearly 2,000 (actually, by then, over 2,000) subject lines/titles … Continue reading The 13 Things You Never Want Have In Your Pants
Talking Business With Mom
Around 11:30 this morning, just after returning from breakfast out with Grace, the phone rang and it was my mom calling. In typical fashion for my mother when she wants to talk about something serious, she was very vague, saying only that she needed me to come up to her house in Marysville to discuss … Continue reading Talking Business With Mom
Is That A Mark III Thermo Unit In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?
...oh my, it's armed! The Doclopedia #409 The Alphabet, Again: F is for... Fingers Of Hell The Fingers of Hell first appeared on one of the magic based Earths just after a great war had begun. Extending up out of the ground, they were five 1 mile long writing columns of what looked like smoke … Continue reading Is That A Mark III Thermo Unit In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?
Linguine With Clem Sauce
...umm, no thanks, Clem The Doclopedia #407 The Alphabet, Again: E is for...Elephants, Pink In the Tooniverse, Pink Elephants appear whenever a character gets drunk or is having a case of the DTs. Sometimes they just hang around, but often there will be a bunch of them doing a musical number, usually about the evils … Continue reading Linguine With Clem Sauce
Doc Tempest: The City Dies At Dawn
...from the 1999 graphic novel The Doclopedia #405 The Alphabet, Again: D is for...Dragontooth Dragontooth is a legendary sword made from, you guessed it, a real dragon tooth. After being taken from the mouth of a recently slain dragon, the tooth had many sorcerous spell laid upon it. It was then given to skilled Gnomish … Continue reading Doc Tempest: The City Dies At Dawn
True Tails Of The Winkerdog
...co-starring her sisters, Neurotic Nelly and Speedy McBarksalot In Which I Prepare To Jump Into The Fire As I've mentioned a few times over the interwebs, I'm going to have outpatient surgery on my fucked up left shoulder on March 7th. This will put me out of work for about 6 weeks, assuming I heal … Continue reading True Tails Of The Winkerdog
Was That A Mouse Over There?
...or was it a tiny flesh devouring alien? The Doclopedia #404 The Alphabet, Again: D is for...Dimm Street In the city of Toronto, Canada, there is a very short street called Dimm Street. It's very old, narrow, dark most of the day (it runs east to west between very tall buildings) and is just two … Continue reading Was That A Mouse Over There?
Mr. Porkwaffle Sets Loose The Kraken
...no, really, it was his pet kraken, Oliver TWO Doclopedia posts here, my little gyring & gimboling slithy toves! Might do two more later this evening! The Doclopedia #402 The Alphabet, Again: C is for...Corn Man Some superheroes are just not cut out for the big time. Corn Man is a prime example of this, … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Sets Loose The Kraken
A Poem About Dancing Elk
...because they deserve it The Doclopedia #401 The Alphabet, Again: C is for...Czinnlik Czinnlik is a planet orbiting the binary star system Yarvax 9. Due to the two suns being rather small and not too hot, there is a rather large zone where planets can support life. Czinnlik is one of three planets in this … Continue reading A Poem About Dancing Elk
Drugged Up Kakapos Bitchslapped My Dormouse
...he was traumatized by it 400th Doclopedia post below. Commentary below it. The Doclopedia #400 The Alphabet, Again: C is for...Chocolate Trees On no less that 15 alternate Earths, chocolate...processed, ready to eat chocolate...actually grows on trees. These trees grow best in temperate zones, which means that the vast bulk of the world's chocolate comes … Continue reading Drugged Up Kakapos Bitchslapped My Dormouse
Cherry Flavored Fun In a Box
...just as good as the chocolate kind The Doclopedia #399 The Alphabet, Again: C is for...Cogs On Earth 52, where they just love to screw around with recombinant DNA, somebody decided to mix canine and feline genetic material. The result were cogs, part cat, part dog and all lovable...and infuriating...and goofy...and funny. Cogs have all … Continue reading Cherry Flavored Fun In a Box
The Rare And Butt Ugly Big Faced Mink Of Potawango Island
...they tend to mate in the dark The Doclopedia #398 The Alphabet, Again: B is for...Breezy Gap The tiny town of Breezy Gap, Kentucky, is notable for exactly one reason: Not only has nothing strange ever happened there, nothing strange can happen there. In a world where superheroes fight giant monsters, supervillains and alien invaders … Continue reading The Rare And Butt Ugly Big Faced Mink Of Potawango Island
Mashed Potato Volcano
...it erupts gravy NOTE FROM 2019: Due to a numbering error, I am off by 3 on the numbering of posts. This post SHOULD be #400, but I'm too damned lazy to renumber 1,800 fucking posts just now. So no, you are not going crazy. Numbering is off and I may have it fixed … Continue reading Mashed Potato Volcano
The Mysterious and Tense, Yet Somewhat Psychedelic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Meatloaf Of The Damned
...co-starring her best buddy, Orville Sweetcracker Doc Update Time for an update about life here at the D&G Cross Home For Wayward Basset Bitches. I haven't been doing these as regularly as I used to, so maybe this will be the start of renewed personal updatage. Or not. Healthwise, I'm now taking blood pressure meds … Continue reading The Mysterious and Tense, Yet Somewhat Psychedelic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Meatloaf Of The Damned
My Other Dog Is An Ankylosaurus
...and nobody wants to pet him The Doclopedia # 399 The Alphabet, Again: B is for...Banana Plague This deadly plague got named for the fact that in the final stages of it, the victim's skin would turn bright yellow just before it began pealing off the body in large strips. This was a terrifying thing … Continue reading My Other Dog Is An Ankylosaurus
Butter On The Fritters
...Mmmmm, buttered fritters The Doclopedia # 398 The Alphabet, Again: A is for...Amy The Barbarian On Earth 221, there are many powerful kingdoms and ravaging barbarian hordes. Among the various races of barbarians, none are stronger and deadlier than the People of Lakora. Life in their land is fraught with terrible weather, deadly animals, rough … Continue reading Butter On The Fritters
Congratulations! I Am Being The President Person Of Nigeria Bank With Money For You!
...please to be giving me your personal information The Doclopedia #397 The Alphabet, Again: A is for... Artichoke Kid The Artichoke Kid was a vicious psychopath and mob enforcer during the 1920-1928 time period. Originally from Castroville, California, he got his nickname from his preferred method of killing: stuffing a small artichoke down the victim's … Continue reading Congratulations! I Am Being The President Person Of Nigeria Bank With Money For You!
World Of Whorecraft
...it's WAY more fun to play The 366 Days of Blogging Hell Gentle Readers, It is just after midnight on January, 29th, 2012, my 58th birthday. As I promised a few weeks ago, I now start a leap year (366 days) of daily posts here and twice weekly posts on the fiction blog. However, since … Continue reading World Of Whorecraft
It’s All Fun & Games Until You Just Walk Into Mordor
...we should have listened to Boromir New, pre-Death March Doclopedia entry! I actually cried a bit writing this one. The Doclopedia #395 The Infinite Doc: Doc Cross, Canine Hero I wasn't always a dog, you know. Five years ago, I was an ordinary suburban homeowner, just about 4 months past my sixtieth birthday. Life was … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You Just Walk Into Mordor
Handsome Joe Goes Camping
...lots of things to sniff in the woods! My Advice To Young Men Young nerdy men often approach me and ask, "Mr. Cross, how can I become a shining example of male coolness like you?" Of course, other young men, much less nerdy than the first group, approach me and ask, "Can I see some … Continue reading Handsome Joe Goes Camping
The Thrilling Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Great Submarine Race
...from the July 1896 issue Rant: Shit I Do Not Understand 1: Why anybody gives a fuck about the Kardashians. Who the fuck are these people, anyway? How did they get a television show? Did I miss something and they were in a hit movie or maybe escaped from Iran or something? Did one of … Continue reading The Thrilling Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Great Submarine Race
I’ve Got Your “Loose Cannon” Right Here, Baby!
...be careful with that! Ok, Gentle Readers, after too long a delay, the final Big Balls post. I won't be doing any Doclopedia posts between now and my birthday on the 29th, but I do hope to post a few other things. Oddly, today's post is actually about big balls. The Doclopedia #394 Big Balls: … Continue reading I’ve Got Your “Loose Cannon” Right Here, Baby!
