…funny as hell, but screwy
The Doclopedia #3,521
Strange Shops: The Exchange
(A tip of the old bandana to Alan Portman for inspiring this theme.)
Yeah, Austin was weird before the world went nuts and it’s even weirder now. I mean, talking animals are everywhere, and so are mutated humans and oddball robots, but where the hell else will you find barbecued terror bird or a sasquatch blues band, or The Exchange?
You don’t know about The Exchange? Okay, let me educate you. It’s out off O’Conner Drive in Round Rock, where the H.E.B. used to be. You can’t miss it, because now it’s a big yellow and green dome. Pretty cool looking, actually.
Anyway, you go in with something you want to trade for something else. Could be a material thing, like a bicycle, or even a memory or a physical thing, like a bum knee or a missing toe. You walk up to one of the 20 or so folks working the front desk, tell them what you want, and what you’ve got to exchange, and they tell you the percentage of what you’ll get for it.
For example, Jimbo at the bar over there was born with a non-prehensile tail and goofy looking squirrel feet. He went there with a cherry 1966 Corvette and they gave him a straight up trade. No tail and normal looking feet.
But my cousin Roy? He fucked up his arm in a motorcycle accident and he wanted a new arm. He went in and said he’s trade his bad memories of the war in Ohio for a new arm. They offered him 75%, he took it, and now he has that robotic arm. It works great, but looks a little creepy.
Most people won’t go for a deal below about 60%, but a few do. You ever see the snake man downtown? Runs the donut shop? Yeah, he had cancer bad. Offered to trade his childhood memories and a beater of a Prius. They offered 48% and he took it. Now he’s healthy as can be, but snake from a few inches below his armpits. He figureas it was worth it.
Nah, nobody knows what they do with the stuff they take in, but I’ve heard there other Exchanges in places like San Francisco and Miami, so I’m thinking they swap stuff around. I mean, my Indian motorcycle had to come from somewhere when I offered them that stolen laser cannon I found. Straight swap it was, too.
Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross
The Dociverse Blog 