…and it was his new friend
The Doclopedia #3,518
The Unusual Suspects: The Ladies Tea Club
(A tip of the old bandana to Peter Hildreth for inspiring this theme.)
“Another one, Jim. I’m out to get blind drunk tonight. Why? Because I may have uncovered a dozen murderers, that’s why. Killed 11 people over the last 9 months.
Remember those two DeVol brothers that ran their car off the cliff? Yeah, those two neo-Nazi fucks. Well, they may have not had an accident. Yeah, I think somebody ran ’em off the road.
That HOA president that nobody liked who dropped dead from a heart attack? Toxicology says it was some sort of plant based toxin.
Frank Falzonni and his wife? The ones who put his elderly parents into a care facility down south, then emptied their bank accounts and moved into their house? The gas leak that killed them looks real suspicious.
Those five outlaw bikers that had that meth lab north of town, the one that exploded? Yeah, well the explosion was caused by an illegal firework going in through a closed window.
And finally, the Senator’s pervy son with all the evidence that pointed to him being a rapist? It’s looking like he didn’t hang himself.
Suspects? Oh yeah, I’ve got suspects. The Ladies Tea Club are my suspects. I’ve found reciepts, the plants used in the poison, mud on car tires, and a bunch more, and it all points toward a dozen women between the ages of 50 and 78. And one of them is my mother!
So yeah, Jim, just keep those drinks coming.”
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