...if they see hollandaise sauce, they run More Stuff, with sprinkles 1: Because of the aforementioned May Mystery Shop Death March and the added money it will bring in, Grace and I may just be able to pay our bills up to current, eliminating the "you're behind on your bill by a month" phone calls. … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Walking Asparagus Of Potawango Island
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
The 100 Things That I Know About Women
...#3-#95: I'll never really understand them Delving In The Dungeon: Part 10 "...and then we opened the door" After giving the quiet door a thorough checking over, Periwinkle slowly opens it while keeping the door between herself and the room. Fergus and Duncan enter the room, weapons at the ready. They are followed by Knute … Continue reading The 100 Things That I Know About Women
Poultry In Motion
...bad Doc! Bad, bad Doc! Stuff, served hot with a nice mug of porter 1: Most of the weekends, and some weekdays, in May are already filled with mystery shopping duties (in a hope to get caught up on bills), so I will not be able to do any gaming until Sunday the 24th. 2: … Continue reading Poultry In Motion
My Life Without The Internet
...and other stories. Quick Update On The Last Few Days 1: We lost our internet service on Thursday morning 2: Also on Thursday I woke up to another in my series on leg infections (left leg) 3: On Saturday, we saw X Men Origins: Wolverine. I did not suck, but it wasn't great 4: Today, … Continue reading My Life Without The Internet
And I Shall Name This Blackberry Bush…Ed!
...and his sister shall be known as Wendy This Whole Swine Flu Thing Ok, so they are saying that we have another "killer flu" on our hands. Just like Bird Flu and the other Swine Flu and a whole load of flu varieties that have popped up and not become pandemics over the past 30 … Continue reading And I Shall Name This Blackberry Bush…Ed!
Pelicans On The Freeway
...they might be hitching a ride Delving In The Dungeon: Part 9 "doors to the right of us, doors to the left" After bundling up the assorted loot (the dwarven armor was no better that what Knute already has), you continue down the corridor. It gets much drier and less mossy after 50 feet or … Continue reading Pelicans On The Freeway
The Story Of The Good Cop And The Bad Politician
...with a happy ending: the politician goes crazy The ABC Meme Cos I'm feeling lazy. A - Age: 55 B - Bed size: Queen size C - Chore you hate: washing dishes D - Dog's name: Winker Sue Cross E - Essential start your day item: Tea: strong, black & unsweetened F - Favorite color: … Continue reading The Story Of The Good Cop And The Bad Politician
Rock & Roll Preschool
...I just want to get get a cookie...I'm to young to know about nookie The Ramones may rise from their graves to get me for that one. Or not. STUFF 1: Missed the A&E deadline again. Damn! 2: Everyone here at the Cross Luxury Hotel For Spoiled Basset Hounds is as healthy as can be … Continue reading Rock & Roll Preschool
Doc Tempest VS The King Of Crime
...from the August, 1958 issue Delving In The Dungeon: Part 7 "biff, bam, thank you, ma'am!" Round 1 Fergus aims a mighty axe blow at the shambler's midsection and hits hard, but his axe becomes caught in the tough fibers that make up the creature's "skeleton". Unfortunately, the shambler manages to deal him a hard … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The King Of Crime
Quetzalcoatl Is My Co-Pilot
...and the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't mind The Cross Family Has A Big Day Out Well, a fairly long day out, anyway. See, today was Picnic Day at UC Davis, so Grace, Winker and I went to it. Now, this day is pretty big festive deal at the university and there were tons of things … Continue reading Quetzalcoatl Is My Co-Pilot
Postholes For Sale
...I cut them up from a dry oil well shaft Delving In The Dungeon: Part 6 "down and dirty fighting" After a short delay, during which Periwinkle, Erasmus and Knute lit up some torches, you head off down the left hand tunnel. The marching order is the same as earlier. As you move down the … Continue reading Postholes For Sale
The 11 Things That Cats Talk About
...the first 5 are about food and the next 3 are about naps Delving In The Dungeon: Part 5 "Perhaps we could just knock?" While Erasmus studies the friezes carved into the cave entrance (and declares them to be "common boastful warrior art"), Periwinkle first checks the door for traps. Finding none, she then peeks … Continue reading The 11 Things That Cats Talk About
Suspicious Looking Kangaroos
...they're up to something, I tell ya A Quick Message For Some Of My Friends Due to AT&T not winning the Cross Family Bill Pay Lotto recently, our landline phone has been cut off. This is not as great a hardship as you might think, since 99% of the calls we get on that phone … Continue reading Suspicious Looking Kangaroos
Chapter 121: In Which Our Hero, Fresh Out Of The Bath, Discovers A Moose In His Sitting Room
...and being Canadian, the moose was eating donuts while reading the hockey scores Ask Me Anything! Ok, Gentle Readers, here's your chance...ask me anything about myself. Boring questions will be ignored. Interesting questions will be answered honestly.
Nuclear Love Monkey
...he's a hot one Delving In The Dungeon: Part 4 "Down you go" After prepping yourselves and your equipment (and stashing any non-necessary valuables), you enter the dungeon entrance that Erasmus thinks might be the safest one. Of course, he has based this on a cursory reading of a third hand story in a 200 … Continue reading Nuclear Love Monkey
Bucky & Squint Go To A Star Trek Convention
...to pick up hot Vulcan babes Hey, Dawg! So, the Obama family finally gets their puppy and his name is Bo (my family nickname) and he's a Portuguese Water Dog (and I'm 25% Portuguese). How fuckin' cool is that? More bloggage later.
I Bites Da Heads Off Da Chocolate Bunnies!
...and then I goes fer that peeps, I does Happy Undead Jesus Day! or, for those of you not of a religious nature... Happy Chocolate Bunny Day! Oh yeah, I'll get some email about that shit.
It’s All Fun and Games Until The Voices In Your Head Start Singing Barbershop Quartet Style
...even if they have excellent harmony Delving In The Dungeon: Part 3 "Into the dungeon" Ok, my little dungeonheads, here's how the last two polls shake out... There are a total of three adventuring parties going into the dungeon: Erasmus' Eradicators Horatio's Hardcases Lord Arturo's Asskickers Horatio's group is the largest (8 members) Lord Arturo's … Continue reading It’s All Fun and Games Until The Voices In Your Head Start Singing Barbershop Quartet Style
Sweet Orange Thoughts
...sounds like some 1960's hippy shit to me Ok, another dungeon delving related poll here, kiddies, so as to help Uncle Doc run this thing.
Big Green Gophers
...from Mars? Ooooeeeeoooo! Delving In The Dungeon: Part 1 "A bit of backstory" Erasmus is a second level M.U. on the verge of hitting third level. He is, as most young mages are, dirt poor and full of ambition. About a month ago, his loyal servant, Knute, met a drunken old woodsman down at the … Continue reading Big Green Gophers
Drunken Vulcans Are Way Funny
...as they try to logically explain why they peed in your aquarium Delving In The Dungeon: Part 1 "Not D&D...exactly" These are the characters. The whole thing will be play by poll. Duncan, Level 1 human fighter STR: 17 DEX: 12 CON: 15 INT: 9 WIS: 10 AGI: 12 CHA: 8 Hit Points: 31 Weapons: … Continue reading Drunken Vulcans Are Way Funny
Spicy Bongo Stories
...for spicy bongos, one assumes Weekend Recap 1: Monsters VS Aliens was big fun. Lots of nuggets for fans of sci fi and the 3D FX were very well done. 2: In N Out Burger was, as always, great. Man, I'm so glad I don't have to drive to L.A. for my Double Double Monster … Continue reading Spicy Bongo Stories
The Rare And Beautiful Orange Winged Bats Of Potawango Island
...during the day, they hum cowboy tunes Well shit (pronounced "whale shit" by some of the Texans in my family), it's been pretty sparse posting...by which I mean NO posting...from the Cross Family Secret HQ and Hound Hotel these past few days. To remedy that, here is a steaming hot plate of Stuff. 1: My … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Orange Winged Bats Of Potawango Island
Chapter 53: In Which Our Hero Escapes Certain Death, Tickles A Camel And Gives A Cat A Fish
...a mackerel, it was Uncle Doc's Gardening Tips 1: PLANT A VEGGIE GARDEN! In these tough economic times, why the hell are you paying $3.00 for a tomato? All the cool kids are starting Victory Gardens and you should, too! Yes, you do have room! Many veggies grow very well in pots or hanging planters. … Continue reading Chapter 53: In Which Our Hero Escapes Certain Death, Tickles A Camel And Gives A Cat A Fish
I’ll Kick The Troll While You Pimpslap The Ogre
...not a good plan Quick RPG Session Report #1: My home group, after a bit of final character creation work, started the first episode of the new "Magic Returns" series. As I mentioned before, they are a thief, a fighter and a mage working as agents for their governments version of the Secret Service. Their … Continue reading I’ll Kick The Troll While You Pimpslap The Ogre
