...with three doggie doors! The Doclopedia #657 Dangerous Animals!: Ducklings! “Alpha Charlie to Base...Alpha Charlie to Base! We've encountered the enemy at coordinates Foxtrot One Niner, near the long pond. Jesus, there must be ten thousand Quackies! Enemy is moving fast, really fast. Estimate twenty percent of our forces got hit by the Cuteness … Continue reading Handsome Joe Gets A New House
Tag: writing
Hot Bloggage! Now Only $5.25 Per Pound
...when purchased in the 20 pound Family Pack The Doclopedia #656 Dangerous Animals!: Kittens! Oh sure, Citizen, a kitten may look cute, but they are very dangerous. Every year, upwards of 5,000 people are killed and eaten by roving prides of kittens! They usually send out one member of the pride, the alpha male, … Continue reading Hot Bloggage! Now Only $5.25 Per Pound
My Moral Compass Is Off By Several Degrees
...not that I let that stop me The Doclopedia #655 Warning Labels: Deep Fried Fleems WARNING: Deep Fried Fleems are VERY HOT! Do not insert them into your nutrient intake orifice until they have cooled off a bit. (Not: Glaxians, Korrdruu & X'XaaanXaa may ignore that warning) If your body is unable to process high … Continue reading My Moral Compass Is Off By Several Degrees
Miniature Robot Fighter Fujiku
...yet another fake anime titls The Doclopedia #653 Warning Labels: Zom-B-Gone WARNING: Zom-B-Gone is formulated for protection against zombies and other forms of the walking dead. Do not use for protection against living creatures, especially dinosaurs. Avoid getting Zom-B-Gone on your skin or in your eyes. Should this happen, shower immediately using BioKleen soap. … Continue reading Miniature Robot Fighter Fujiku
My Brain Is On Vacation
...and it hasn't sent me a postcard The Doclopedia #650 Warning Labels: Groombot 5000 WARNING: Groombot 5000 is not recommended for bitches in the final two weeks of pregnancy, or nursing bitches with pups under 3 weeks of age. Pups under the age of 14 weeks should not use Groombot 5000. Canines who are … Continue reading My Brain Is On Vacation
Not In This Issue: Robot Rabbits, Steamy Dreams and Soggy Doggies
...Soggy Doggies are for next month The Doclopedia #648 All Bottled Up: Motion Potion From a discussion between Bertram and Augustus, Wizards & Dungeon Creators Bertram: Alright then, Augie, we're on to the third level and any visitors should be running low on magic by now. Augustus: True enough, Bertie! I think we should … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Robot Rabbits, Steamy Dreams and Soggy Doggies
Basset Hounds VS Pie!
...Basset Hounds 1, Pie 0 The Doclopedia #647 All Bottled Up: Energy Drink As I've already explained in some detail to this officer, I am Professor Chetwin and that poor fellow is Professor Lindemuller and our bottle of Liquid Electricity has been stolen! Yes, Liquid Electricity! We've been working on it for the last … Continue reading Basset Hounds VS Pie!
Codfish Of The Month Club
...I thought it was the CodPIECE of the Month Club. Man, was I wrong. The Doclopedia #646 All Bottled Up: The Hard Stuff Did you hear about Tom? No? Well, you know he's been having a difficult time, um, in the bedroom, right? Yeah, erectile dysfunction, they call it. Anyway, it's been going on … Continue reading Codfish Of The Month Club
The Ice Cream Dwarves Meet The Hot Fudge Faeries
...in a very yummy battle The Doclopedia #644 All Bottled Up: Chateau Doubert 1953 Few bottles of this rare vintage still exist, what with the entire vineyard and cellars being destroyed in a meteor strike in 1957. Even if it were not highly valued for its incredible complexity, this wine would still find eager buyers … Continue reading The Ice Cream Dwarves Meet The Hot Fudge Faeries
Well Oiled Monster Girls
...NOTE: Some danger is inherent in the oiling process The Doclopedia #642 Don't Touch That!: Sexy Thing Bro, you do NOT want to touch that. Yeah, I know, she's totally hot...those eyes...that hair...that body...THAT ASS! But she's a vampire, bro, a no shit bloodsucker and she'll drain you fuckin' dry. Trust me, many a … Continue reading Well Oiled Monster Girls
Chapter 409: In Which Our Hero, Having Recovered From Eating British Food, Must Convince Several Villagers To Buy A Freshly Caught Haddock
...he has several interested parties The Doclopedia #638 Don't Touch That!: Slimy Thing Woah there, Rex, don't go touchin' that slimy piece of stuff. That there is another one of those dangerous weapons that the humans left behind after they killed themselves off. I'm pretty sure that one there bursts into flames if you … Continue reading Chapter 409: In Which Our Hero, Having Recovered From Eating British Food, Must Convince Several Villagers To Buy A Freshly Caught Haddock
Mr. Porkwaffle Gets Chased By Pikas
...and I think we all know how much that sucks. The Doclopedia #635 Don't Touch That!: Fuzzy Thing Fer the love o' God, laddie, ye don't wanna be touchin' that! It's a deadly mutant haggis an' it'll take yer bleedin' arm off as soon as look at ye! Step back now, there's a good lad. … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Gets Chased By Pikas
Chapter 61: In Which Our Hero, Having Lead The Slaves To Freedom, Goes Off In Search Of A Horse And A Pocketful Of Gold
...and maybe a busty wench or two The Doclopedia #575 The Stuff That's Made Of Dreams: Wonder Dust From a lecture given by High Wizard Prelby Smatterkin at the Royal School of Wizardry “Now it is at about this time in the lecture that many of you are thinking that it would be very nice … Continue reading Chapter 61: In Which Our Hero, Having Lead The Slaves To Freedom, Goes Off In Search Of A Horse And A Pocketful Of Gold
Geese For Peace
...they're politically aware waterfowl The Doclopedia #574 The Stuff That's Made Of Dreams: Ship Of Dreams The Ship of Dreams was built in 1467 by the Queen of Brismodia as a way of attacking her hated enemy, the Queen of Florilandia. To allow the ship to sail into the DreamPlace, the wood used to build … Continue reading Geese For Peace
Vile Steampunk Villains Taunted My Hydrangeas
...and made them cry! The Doclopedia #572 The Stuff That's Made Of Dreams: Nightmare Paint Depending upon how it is formulated, nightmare paint can be used to merely make people feel uncomfortable or stricken with terrifying hallucinations that dive them to madness if they don't get beyond the effect. Making nightmare paint is, as … Continue reading Vile Steampunk Villains Taunted My Hydrangeas
Doc Tempest: It’s A Dry Heat
...from the January, 1983 graphic novel issue Hey, lookee here, it's a new Doclopedia theme and the first entry crosses over with my "After The Change Came" fiction pieces! Will wonders never cease? The Doclopedia #571 The Stuff That's Made Of Dreams: Dream Draught On the Changed Earth, the magical substance known as dream draught … Continue reading Doc Tempest: It’s A Dry Heat
Hey, This Isn’t A Cheese Sandwich!
...It's alive! AAARRGGH! The Doclopedia #570 More Islands Of Adventure: Fleevin Island On Saturn's moon, Titan, there is a large island known to the natives as Fleevin Island. In Titanide, “fleevin” means “fast death” and the Koopli Beasts that live only on that island will give that fast death to any Hiibik or Deeloo who … Continue reading Hey, This Isn’t A Cheese Sandwich!
Not In This Issue: Flying Snakes, Nematodes or Radish Stew
...nothing about salamanders, either. The Doclopedia #568 More Islands Of Adventure: The Island Of A Thousand Smokes This island is almost perfectly round and has very steep sides due to it being the top of an old volcano. The crater at the top, measuring almost 5 miles across, is home to a fertile and temperate … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Flying Snakes, Nematodes or Radish Stew
Purple Basset Hounds Eat Mystery Tempest Candy
...today's blog title courtesy of the Random Blog Title-O-Matic The Doclopedia #566 More Islands Of Adventure: Tower Island Up in Puget Sound, there's an island, maybe a quarter mile long and half that wide, that has a 60 foot stone tower poking right up out of the middle of it. Looks kind of like some … Continue reading Purple Basset Hounds Eat Mystery Tempest Candy
The Action Filled, Yet Still Quite Girly, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And What Happened To Grandma’s Cat.
...co-starring her trained gopher, Archie The Doclopedia #565 More Islands Of Adventure: Sliver Island Located 30 miles from Port Robinson, Sliver Island is the longest island in the Tarkas Sea of Mars. It gets it's name due to the fact that despite being 35 miles long, it is only about 1 mile wide down the … Continue reading The Action Filled, Yet Still Quite Girly, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And What Happened To Grandma’s Cat.
The 10 Things You Should Do Before Riding A Moose
...Number 1: Sober up! The Doclopedia #563 How To Murder...: A Clockwork Woman She was very, popular, Miss Lina Muller, the Clockwork Woman. People all over Europe, would flock to see her and hear her speak. She was declared a Marvel of Science and proof that the human imagination had no limits. Her father, Professor … Continue reading The 10 Things You Should Do Before Riding A Moose
Danger Filled Doughnuts!
...it's a sweet & creamy form of peril The Doclopedia #562 How To Murder...: A Hero If you're thinking that heroes must be damned hard to kill, you're right, buddy. Not that it can't be done, mind you, but it takes a whole lot of prep and planning. As an example, let's take a look … Continue reading Danger Filled Doughnuts!
Bean Planting For The Total Idiot
...First Step: find a bean. The Doclopedia #561 How To Murder...: A Wizard The main problem with trying to do a hit on a Wizard is that they have about a hundred ways to set up a warning system. Magical wards that make noise as you pass them, enchanted barriers that can detect homicidal … Continue reading Bean Planting For The Total Idiot
The Midnight Creeper & The Midnight Rider Meet The Midnight Rambler on the Midnight Special
...do I need to tell you what time it was? The Doclopedia #559 Calling All Frogs: The Terrible Treefrog When you think about it, it's kind of funny that a 4' 10” wiry framed little super villain called The Terrible Treefrog would be one of the most successful villains of all. Many villains were … Continue reading The Midnight Creeper & The Midnight Rider Meet The Midnight Rambler on the Midnight Special
Return Of The Sweet Smelling Bitches
...they be woofin', I be lovin' The Doclopedia #556 Calling All Frogs: Braised Giant Frog With Jeevoo Sauce Naturally, you want a fully mature male Yellow Legged Giant Frog of the Quoo Lake region. The females are, of course, unclean and the Red Legged Giant Frog is fit food only slaves and the Unenlightened. … Continue reading Return Of The Sweet Smelling Bitches
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