…and the odd dangerous girl, too
Doc Speaketh On Current Events
Ok, I don’t do this very often because it might tarnish my “I don’t give a shit” attitude, but I’m finding some recent news items either amusing or troubling, so here goes…
Mel Gibson: Now, just because he’s been accused of anti-Semitism before AND his father is a Holocaust denying religious wackjob, let’s not judge old Mel too harshly. After all, it was the liquor that suddenly turned him from a lover of all God’s chillin’ to a sexist Jew hater. No, really. In fact, it has been proven that the type of liquor you consume determines who you’ll start hating once you’re shitfaced.
Wine: Republicans, cat lovers, Irish, Trekkies, fat people, Catholics, redheads
Scotch: Italians, cell phone addicts, Swedes, children, Mormons, tropical fish fanciers
Vodka: Democrats, women with big tits, gays, the French, African Americans
Beer: Hippies, Californians, dogs, New Yorkers, people who collect things from the Franklin Mint
Tequila: Jews, Arabs, guys named Tom, women, people who drive Volvos, the Chicago Cubs
Remember folks, drink responsibly. Take a shot of everything so you can hate the whole fuckin’ world equally.
The Heat Wave: I’m actually worried about all my friends in the Midwest/East. Y’all aren’t as adapted to this heat as we West Coasters are, plus you have that miserable humidity. Drink the hell outta water and stay as cool as possible. The swimming pool/creek/lake/bathtub/shower is your friend. And for Dog’s sake, keep an eye on your pets, too.
The Armageddon Enthusiasts: I’m truly saddened by these people…saddened that they all haven’t made big batches of Suicide Kool Aid and drunk deeply of it, so as to get to their Great Reward that much faster and spare the rest of us their absolute insanity.
J.K. Rowling Killing Off Characters In The Final Harry Potter Book: I would very strongly suggest that Ms. Rowling go read Stephen King’s Misery before she starts whacking her characters. I’m pretty sure that there are several tens of thousands of HP fans who will quite literally lose their minds if she offs the wrong ones.
And that’s enough of that for now.
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