…mostly naughty words
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The Doclopedia #1,471
The Alphabet: U is For…Upstairs At The Regal
On Noir Earth 3, the classiest nightclub in Kansas City is Upstairs At The Regal. Located on the 15th floor of the Regal Hotel, it features well stocked bars, top line entertainment and a staff that knows how to take care of the needs of the high rolling customers.
This is the place where you’ll find politicians, wealthy businessmen and criminal kingpins, often at the same table. Sometimes even in the same body. Deals get done here, with fortunes being made or taken over a perfectly made cocktail.
Not everyone here is a big mover and shaker. Many guests are just rich folks out to have a good time. They drink a bit too much, talk a bit too loud and keep the band playing hits until closing time.
Causing any sort of trouble here is a stupid move. The bouncers will be on you in a hot second and toss you into the elevator to the lobby. You won’t be allowed back soon, if at all.
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The Doclopedia #1,472
The Alphabet: U is For…Utah Creeper
Nobody knows how the salt tolerant plant known as the Utah Creeper got started, or even if it is from this planet, but it can’t be denied that it is doing well.
In 1910, when the vines were first discovered in salty soil near the Great Salt Lake, they covered about an acre. The quarter inch thick dark green vines with their tiny dark green leaves didn’t look like any known species. Samples were sent to several universities and it was quickly agreed that this was a new species. It was also agreed that the plant could not be grown from the sample cuttings.
By 1915, the vines covered 12 acres and grew as thick as 3 inches and tall, up to 7 feet. Walking through the vines was nearly impossible due to the thick intertwining of the vines. Scientists learned that nothing seemed to eat the vines and the vines would grow into any animal that died in them. These carcasses would be completely gone in a couple of months, leaving only bones behind.
In 1937, the U.S. Government measured the size of the vine patch from the air and determined that it covered 840 acres. Measurements in 1955 put the size at 4,000 acres. In 2002, the vine coverage seemed to stop at 32,000 acres.
While the vines cannot grow in pure salt, they seem to grow only in very salty soils in Utah. The vines do not produce flowers or fruits. There seems to be no useful properties to the vines. Eradication is possible via the use of acids, with ordinary white vinegar working quite well.
Since the vines cover a large area of otherwise useless land, the state and federal governments pretty much leave it be. The vines do absorb some water from Great Salt Lake, but not enough to cause problems.
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The Doclopedia #1,473
The Alphabet: V is For…Vanishing Women
The Vanishing Women of Pune, India, are about as positive a proof of the supernatural as you’ll ever find. They’ve been there for 250 years and they have been seen by hundreds of thousands of people. They have also claimed the lives of over 2,000 men.
The story behind the Vanishing Women is pretty straightforward. Around 1770, a group of women grew tired of the men in the area abusing them, so they beat the crap out of something like 200 men. Sadly, this did not educate the men, it just pissed them off. They proceeded to riot through the town, eventually killing 90 women. The remaining townswomen quickly became passive and meek. The men continued being assholes.
That changed on the first anniversary of the riot. Starting at sunrise, the ghosts of the dead women appeared and walked among the terrified living. Worse yet, they would confront the men that had killed them and scare them into having massive heart attacks or panicking into fatal accidents. As the men died, the ghosts vanished. Everyone thought that might be the end, since they had killed 40 of the murderers. They were wrong.
The vanishing women have appeared every day or night for the last 250 years. They seek out cruel and abusive men and kill them. This has become far less of an issue over the centuries, since the sort of men they would kill do not live their anymore.
Scientists have studied the Vanishing Women for decades and have learned astoundingly little, aside from the fact that the women register on very few instruments. On the other hand, they have become a major tourist draw. Unless you are a cruel and abusive man.
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The Doclopedia #1,474
The Alphabet: V is For…Vilk
Vilk is good for you! You should eat vilk at least 4 times a week. More would be better. You can eat it raw, boiled, backed, steamed or fried. Season it with mugloo for a wonderful treat! Eating vilk will promote good health and strength. If you do not already do so, start eating vilk today!
This message was brought to you by the Vilk Advisory Board, an arm of the Vilk Growers Cooperative.
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