…we do have a Lorenzo
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The Doclopedia #1,636
Me And My…: Gelatinous Cube
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Okay, so here’s the story of how I got Reggie, my pet Gelatinous Cube.
We were in the Dungeon of the Demon King, not far from the entrance. We had just finished exploring the place, killing a shitload of demonkin, and gathering a ton of loot. It was time to relax and have a drink or five.
So, after a bit, we were all pretty drunk and Albertus, our wizard, steps down the hallway to take a leak. Well, he was gone about 10 minutes, so Brother Talis and Robar go to look for him and I’m sitting there with Zubbo and then we see the three of them coming toward us, but they’re inside a Gelatinous Cube, being digested.
Zubbo, being a thief, hauls ass outta there and me, being drunk says out loud “Stupid fucking cube! Why can’t you be nice and gentle, like my dog was?”
Which was an idiotic thing to say when you are wearing a Wish Ring with only I wish left. But next thing you know, this 10 foot cube starts shaking and oozing up to me and acting friendly. I run outside and it follows me, quivering and sort of hopping/oozing like a happy dog.
I take a drink of healing potion to get sober and then I realize what had happened. I reached out to pet the cube and I did, without and pain. See, all the digestive stuff is inside. Then I tell it good boy and it hops about a bit and then I get an idea. I tell it to go fetch all our loot and damned if it doesn’t do just that!
Figuring I could have worse pets, I named it Reggie and it followed me home carrying a king’s ransom in loot. Well, that and the dissolving bodies of 3 of my friends. Anyway, we got home and it drops the loot and then I fed it a cow. After a few days, I figured out it knew quite a few commands and was really a pretty nice pet.
I used my fortune to have this fine house and garden built, then had a wall put up around it. Reggie and I like it here and once a week I let the villagers watch as I feed him a couple of goats or a large hog or maybe a condemned murderer from the Royal Prison. Everyone likes seeing that.
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The Doclopedia #1,637
Me And My…: Sasquatch
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Sabrina is a Sasquatch, yes. Not a fully grown one, but well past the halfway point. Oh yes, she can understand us, but her own language is impossible for humans to understand, so she uses sign language.
I rescued her when she was only a day or two old. Her parents had been struck by lightning. My wife and I bottle fed her and raised her as our child. She is a good girl. Smart, too. At least as smart as the average human.
No, we don’t take her into the city. People there would go nuts if they saw a live Sasquatch. We do take her into Spruceville. She likes seeing the kids at the school and eating pancakes at the truck stop. Everyone in town likes our girl.
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