A Song…A Dance…Some Cheese Whiz In Your Pants

…sharp cheddar flavor

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The Doclopedia #2,045

Strange Bandanas: The American Flag One

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I have several bandanas with stars & stripes on them. This one looks pretty much just like the flag, but square. I got it in 1980 at a thrift store in Seattle. I think it cost me 75 cents.

I don’t wear it very often, because when I do, the damned thing transports me to some random place in the 13 colonies in 1776. Half the time I end up way the hell out in the boonies. When I do reach a town or village, people freak the hell out and my money is no good, so I take off the bandana and I pop back to just after I left. It’s a pain in the ass.

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The Doclopedia #2,046

Strange Bandanas: The Neon Rainbow One

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You know, I have no idea where or when I got this bandana. I’m thinking early 1980s, maybe in the Bay Area.

The only power this bandana confers upon me is that while wearing it, I can disco dance like nobody’s business. I mean, I can blow everyone else off the dance floor.

There are just two problems. 1: I’m old and fat and all that dancing puts me flat on my back in bed full of pain pills for days. 2: I fucking hate disco music.

It is a darned fine looking bandana, though.