…this will not end well for Godzilla
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Life On The Magic Bus
Chapter 9, Part 9: Across America At Random
A Wooster without Jeeves
Peru without llamas
8/16/2014
It was a bright sunny day, just minutes after sunrise, when the Magic Bus rolled out of Mediapolis, Iowa for today’s destination, Wooster, Ohio. Doc had set the autopilot so that he and Spike could get in a game of Speed Dungeon. Doc was playing a Fighter/Rogue and Spike was playing a Wizard/Monk. Flash was watching. Everyone else on the Bus was asleep.
“So, how long will today’s trip take?” Spike asked as he rolled the dice to see if he avoided getting hit by a troll’s club.
Doc rolled a hit on the troll, doing 10 points of damage. “About 12.5 hours. That’s mostly due to the internet folks wanting to send up south to Springfield, Illinois, to eat corn dogs and do pix.”
“Eating corn dogs? Could be way worse.” Flash said, as he watched both of the men get terrible Defend rolls.
Doc grimaced at the dice. “Oh, eating corn dogs is just the easiest stop. In Peru, Indiana, we need to pose with a llama.”
Spike chuckled. “Oh, yeah, that won’t be a problem.”
Several hours later, after having A: eaten delicious corn dogs at the Cozy Dog Diner…while reciting spur of the moment odes to corn dogs, B: stopping to buy “any sort of soup” (clam chowder) in Decatur, C: diverting to a small town named Mecca to see if it had a mosque (answer: no), and D: Stopping at Scoobee Meats in Crawfordsville, Indiana, to get a video of them saying hello to the owner, an uncle of one of the internet voters, Our Travelers arrived in Peru, Indiana.
Where, to the great surprise of Doc, Spike, and most of the internet watchers, Grace & Mary knew of a toy store that had plush llamas, including one ready for pickup.
As the women got back on the Bus with the near life sized llama, Grace look at Doc with a wry smile and said, “The internet, big boy! We had this located and paid for while you guys were buying soup in Decatur.”
“50 points for House Wives!,” Sasha exclaimed.
They made a 5 minute video with the llama, who was named Llily, then continued on their drive. Doc took some time to read some emails.
“Any interesting news, Daddy?”, Lucy asked.
“Well, the Lacewoods are in some tiny village in the depths of Tennessee. Two other cars are hauling ass up the east coast and are deluged by rain in North Carolina. The Canadian guys are heading in our general direction from the U.P. of Michigan. Oh, and Cody & Amber are way up in New York state. I wonder what the total miles all of us have driven come to?”
He saw Sasha reaching for her calculator.
It was after dark when they parked the Bus at the corner of Spink and Nold in Wooster, Ohio. Dinner was served to them by the new SmartBot that the Bus had created to help out.
Dinner was excellent. He would have to think up a name for the bot soon. For now, he was just glad that today’s leg was done.
After dinner, there was movie watching or game playing and everyone went to bed early. Around 1:00 in the morning, Doc sat up in bed and said “JEEVES!”
Grace came awake quickly and asked what the hell he was yelling about.
“The new SmartBot. I’m going to name him Jeeves, because we’re in Wooster right now. Get it?”
Grace gave him a long hard stare. “Remind me why I’ve stayed married to you for 35 years and pushed two of your children out of my womb.”
Doc kissed her on the cheek and said, “Because you’d need 5 other men to replace me.”
Grace harrumphed and said he was right, because one crazy man was easier to handle than five.
Doc laughed and checked his phone.
“Hey, tomorrow, we get to drive to Lake Placid, New York.”
Grace, already falling back to sleep, said, “If there’s a giant alligator there, I’m going to shoot you.”
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