…double featured with “I was A Teenage CPA”
YAY! I now finish “The Rise Of The…” week! Starting tomorrow: Potions Week!
The Doclopedia #113
Hmmm, six risings covered, yet I get the feeling I’ve forgotten something. What could it be? Oh, wait, I know!
The Rise Of The…: Zombies!
Ok, so this is how the Big Zombie Rising of 2010 went…
1: North Korean biological weapons lab blows up, killing tens of thousands who rise up 6 hours later and start killing and eating the living.
2: The virus spreads on the wind and through zombie bites or scratches. It might also have been spread by animals or birds, who are unaffected by it.
3: Zombies everywhere. Lots of panic…at first.
4: Everybody with a gun or a baseball bat or a hockey stick or a piece of pipe takes up the sport called “Bash The Zombie Heads”. Additionally, many folks set them on fire, crush them with heavy equipment, drop heavy things on them, cover them in cement and find other creative ways to stop them. In areas near volcanoes, zombies were often lead to a fiery death in the caldera.
5: The animal world joins the fun! Everything that eats dead flesh starts filling up on McZombie. Even animals that don’t eat flesh do their part, such as the herds of elephants in Africa and India that took every opportunity to trample the walking dead. Packs of pit bulls and other canines did their part, too.
6: By the time winter came around, zombies were pretty scarce, but those in northern climes froze solid, making for easy destruction. Zombies in the tropics were gone in the first couple of weeks of the rising.
7: Once things got back to normal, crematoriums started popping up like Starbucks. Additionally, almost everyone bought some version of the RonCo Brain Buster, to use on loved ones who kicked the bucket. Just press the power drill looking device up to the back of poor old Uncle Joe’s head, pull the trigger and it punctures the skull and whips the brain into mush. No rising up for Uncle Joe!
8: Zombies pretty much disappeared from books, movies, video games and other media once it was known how wussy they really were.
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