Do You Like My Cupcakes, She Asked

…and he told her he liked them just fine

The Doclopedia #112

They not only outnumber us, they live in and around our homes! We are so screwed!

The Rise Of The…: Animals!

In our year of 521 AD, the science research starship N’murix suffered a terminal compromise of both Neutronic Plasmodifiers and blew up. Large sections of the ship flew off into space in all directions at .65% of lightspeed. In our year of 1690 AD, the section that had housed the genetic experimentation laboratory crashed into the Amazon rain forest. It was only slightly larger than a two story home and very little survived the impact, except for Vial 30.

Vial 30 contained a virus that had been created for use on some of the many animals that the N’murix had gathered from various Terran ecosystems in 368 AD. When it broke open, the virus was released into our atmosphere. It was on that day that the rise of the animals truly began.

The virus affected every mammal species on earth. Certain types of birds, most notable parrots ravens & their kin and raptors were also altered. No reptiles, fish or invertebrates were affected. Every species the virus touched became much more intelligent. Even more importantly, they could all communicate telepathically. Oddly, this did not change species behavior. Predators still ate prey and everyone was cool with that because it was the way of Nature. No, the animals had other things to think about: the Human Problem.

After the better part of a century of discussion and planning, the animals decided to straighten the humans out and get them back in line with Nature’s Plan. On February 9th, 1808, the animals struck.

Humans who mistreated animals were killed. Humans who destroyed habitat were forced to live in very bad conditions for a few years. Humans who poisoned the air or water or soil were forced to live in filth. Humans who understood Nature’s Way, which was almost entirely the so called “primitive savages” of many lands, were allowed and encouraged to live as they always had, in harmony with the land.

Cities were dismantled, dams destroyed, forests replanted and the world was slowly set right, except for a very few spots where humans were allowed to live and devote themselves to learning and invention. After about 4 or 5 generations, humans stopped rebelling and started learning how to live properly. Now, in the year 2010, the world is a much happier and cleaner place.