…on foot
.
Life On The Magic Bus
Chapter 9, Part 6: Across America At Random
Auntie Avis comments
NOT a Three Dog Night song
8/13/2014
“Our destination today is the Shambala Buddhist Retreat,” Doc said as he poured himself a second mug of tea. “Way the fuck up in the north eastern Colorado Rockies.”
Grace, who was holding the camera for this video, giggled.
Doc continued. “So in a few minutes, we will be driving all the way across Utah and most of Colorado on side roads and state highways. Thank you, you cruel internet sadists. Doc Clay signing off.”
“Well, that went well,” Spike said.
Flash snickered. “Well, at least we’re not in southern New Mexico, like those two Canadian dudes.”
Doc took little consolation from that as he slid into the driver’s seat and started up the bus.
A few hours later, on the other side of the continent, Avis Beland was regaling her mother and her sister with readings of Facebook posts from Doc and the other Bus passengers.
“Oh, here’s classic Doc.” She then dramatically read, “Just a reminder that western Utah is just one giant bowl of salt and dirt.”
She then read one by Mary. “I was WAY too early proclaiming the Middle of Nowhere. Grace also informs me that it’s really probably somewhere in Texas.”
Avis nodded at that. Her second husband had been from Amarillo and they had driven across Texas twice.
“And here we have the photos from their first stop. Apparently, some Utah folks set up a 15 foot tall scarecrow 2 miles out on a dry lake bed and they had to pose with it.”
Avis’ mother noted that Flash had climbed to the top of it. She also pointed out that Grace was holding a sign saying it was 85 degrees out at 8:35 in the morning.
Back on the Bus, Doc and company were now on a side road in the mountains of Eastern Utah, doing another video.
“As you can see, folks, we are out of the desert and up in the mountains. It’s a balmy 90 up here.” Doc paused to take a drink of iced tea. The camera, this time manned by Spike, panned around to show Grace, Mary, and the critters waving.
“Hi, everyone!” Sasha sounded very happy as she spoke. “We are finally seeing wildlife! We saw squirrels and birds and a coyote!”
Lucy stepped into the shot. “We also saw a dead skunk and a couple of vultures. I’m pretty sure they were gonna eat…say, does anyone else smell bears?”
At that point, the camera showed everyone backing up quickly to the Bus and getting on. About three seconds later, a mother bear and two cube came sauntering out of the woods.
Doc popped back in front of the camera.
“Video ended on account of bears. More, hopefully bear free video later.”
Another few hours later, Avis was relaxing at home and reading more posts from Doc and other Great Race participants to her friend, Ginie O’Leary.
“It looks like the Canadian brothers are now in Eastern Oklahoma. Cody & Amber Judson are just north of Yellowstone and spending the night at a sheep ranch. The Heroic Games crew are in southern Colorado, camping at an old army training post. Oh, and the Magic bus has finally arrived at the Buddhist Center, where they seem to have been expected. Hey, wasn’t “The Road To Shambala” a Three Dog Night song?”
Ginie thought a moment.“Yes, it was. Did you see the pictures they took earlier from that town in Utah? The one with all sorts of cartoonish dinosaurs along the main street?”
Avis laughed. “I did. They were posing in all sorts of funny ways. I laughed at the ones of Mary kissing the stegosaurus and Lucy riding the weird purple and yellow one.”
It was now 2 in the morning in the Colorado high country, and Doc was up to check the day’s upcoming route.
He had no idea where Winner, South Dakota was. Fuck it, time to go back to bed.
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