…those bastards!
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The Doclopedia #2,317
Traveling Moe: In Steamverse 3
Traveling Moe is a 4 year old tabby cat who got accidentally sucked through a trans-dimensional portal and has traveled to various realities as his mad scientist human mom tries to get him home.
When Moe popped into Steamverse 3, he found himself in a laboratory. That was nice, since he lived in a lab back home. This lab was both similar and way different. It smelled of grease, steam, sweat and chemicals. It was much less tidy than Mom’s lab, but that didn’t bother him. What bothered him was that he was hungry, so he started sniffing and looking around. In fairly short order, he found a bowl of beef stew. It was cold, but that did not bother him.
As Moe was chowing down on delicious chunks of beef, he regarded the sweaty, swearing humans that were trying to get two large pieces of machinery bolted together. Moe had long ago learned that swearing was a vital part of most scientific endeavors. His mom could swear profusely in 6 languages, including Klingon.
Moe had no idea what an “etheric impulse drive” was, but the humans, whose names seemed to be Bill and Walter, certainly wanted to get it finished.
After filling his belly with beef, Moe decided that he would go lie down in a sunny spot and have a nap. This nap lasted about 15 minutes when a loud buzzing woke him up.
The two humans had managed to get their device put together and had turned it on. It was now floating about 3 feet off the floor and the humans were dancing about and laughing. Moe had seen successful experiment aftermath before, so this was nothing new. He yawned.
And then several things happened.
First, the buzzing of the engine changed to a much higher pitch and the whole thing started shaking. The humans started yelling and running about.
Second, two rat terriers came into the lab and looked right at Moe, who went straight into panic mode. Terriers were the worst.
Third, for some unknown reason, a large bucket of chemicals on the table near the engine began to bubble.
As the engine whine got louder, Moe took off running from the now felicidal terriers. He ran up a short flight of stairs to a catwalk and headed across the lab.
Walter was yelling about shutting the engine off before it shook apart, but neither he nor Bill could get close to it due to the violent shaking. Their panic was quickly ramping up.
With the dogs closing on him, Moe decided to leap off the catwalk. The terriers, crazed with bloodlust, followed him without hesitation. All three of them were flying through the air over the engine toward the table next to it.
Bravely, Bill used a length of brass pipe to try and hit the power switch on the engine. Sadly, he missed and hit another button, opening a vent that began sucking in air at a violent rate. He and Walter leapt back to avoid being sucked into the vent.
Meanwhile, Moe and the terriers hit the table, causing the end near the engine to lower just enough for the bucket of chemicals to spill. The vent came on and sucked in all the chemicals. It was also taking in air powerfully enough that despite running full tilt, Moe and the dogs were slowly being pulled toward the vent and certain doom.
And then the engine stopped vibrating and whining and settled in at it’s initial hum. The vent shut off and Moe and the dogs went flying off the far end of the table into a pile of old rags. Bill and Walter fell down.
A few moments later, as Walter and Bill ranted about the miracle of a “chemical stress reducer” saving their engine, the still terrified dogs ran off and Moe did the same in another direction.
Eventually, Moe was taken in by a wealthy old man who fed him well and called him “Nigel”. Several days later, he heard the old man telling other old men that the Thomas brothers had perfected their engine that was even now going into a ship that would transport them to the moon and the other planets.
Moe didn’t really care, as long as those kippers kept coming every day.
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