...meanwhile, the Ice Cream Dwarves just sit back and watch CatCon4: Day 5 A lazy day...Critters Assemble!...we view two houses made of stuff Our Monday got off to a later than usual start. This can be blamed on: adults going out for adult beverages and fun the previous night...and everybody being tired from walking around … Continue reading The Cupcake Elves And The Cookie Gnomes Go To War!
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
Reggae Dogs
...Bow wow, mon. how 'bout I and I be eatin' some noms? The Doclopedia #351 My Family: Aunt Tessie Aunt Tessie was famous in our family as an artist. She loved to paint scenes with animals, flowers, butterflies or trees. Often, she'd fit all of those in the same picture. She had real talent and … Continue reading Reggae Dogs
The Politically Incorrect, Yet Totally Funny, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Magical Toilet Seat
...costarring her pet hippopotamus, Vern CatCon4: Day 4 We perform musically for Yazoo City, Mississippi, then make a quick escape...Clowns are viewed...We enter New Orleans If you are going to do “The Time Warp” in full costume with pre-recorded musical backup, where and when better to do it than in Yazoo City, Mississippi on a … Continue reading The Politically Incorrect, Yet Totally Funny, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Magical Toilet Seat
Mexican Jenny And The California Kid Conquer Halloween
...in drag, as a matter of fact CatCon4: Day 3 Your Humble Narrator plays catch up...an Iron Chef competition happens Having fallen behind by a day, I shall now make an earnest attempt to catch up by compressing Saturday into a “highlights reel”. 8:00 AM: Our company begins waking up. I and the critters have … Continue reading Mexican Jenny And The California Kid Conquer Halloween
Stop That Fooling Around!
...or I swear I'll pull this blog over and make you walk home The Doclopedia #349 My Family: Cousin Delbertina My cousin Delbertina is a big woman...6 feet 9 inches tall, 400 pounds. My Grandma used to say that Delbertina could go bear hunting with a willow switch and a scary look. This was not … Continue reading Stop That Fooling Around!
Blue Food Blues
...I gots 'em CatCon4: Day 2, Part 2 We venture into the wilds of Alabama...Cornbread is eaten and sat upon...battling attractions for the WIN! Now that I'm sitting in my comfy recliner, enjoying a cold beer and watching my dog (Lucy) chase imaginary squirrels in her sleep, I'll reveal the facts about Project Applesauce. It's … Continue reading Blue Food Blues
The 14 Things You Need To Know About Babies
...#1: they leak from all orifices We are taking a bit of a break from the longer Doclopedia posts so I can get ahead on things while also doing the CatCon reports (one of which will be up here in a few hours) The Doclopedia #348 My Family: Uncle Enoch Uncle Enoch was actually my … Continue reading The 14 Things You Need To Know About Babies
Betty Was A Little Bit Goofy, But Boy, Could She Dance
...often for no reason and without music CatCon4: Day 1, Part 2 We eat and watch movies. We ate a good dinner at a Cuban restaurant last night, then watched a couple of movies. The first one was “Escape From Toronto”, directed by John Carpenter, starring Kurt Russell and William Shatner, with running commentary by … Continue reading Betty Was A Little Bit Goofy, But Boy, Could She Dance
Peanut Butter Filled Squid
...I'l bet some foodie would eat it CatCon4: Day 1, Part 1 We see turtles galore...barbecue is eaten...a house of driftwood is toured...we encounter Driftwood Jesus Finally in the proper place and time, we rolled out of Orlando heading due west. The plan was to drive up the eastern side of the state to Pensacola, … Continue reading Peanut Butter Filled Squid
Les Paul Built My Air Guitar
...and I can rock it, baby Gentle Readers, It is that time of year again, the time when, in lieu of actually getting to go to GenCon, I post a wholly fictional convention trip report about our trip to CatCon 4. This will take about 14 days to do and will not interrupt the regular … Continue reading Les Paul Built My Air Guitar
Who Let The Ducks Out? QUACK, QUACK, QUACKQUACK!
...huh? what? wrong lyrics? The Doclopedia #347 The Rise Of The...: Children It really did happen overnight. Just about the time the sun was setting over Tokyo, prepubescent kids all over the world started acting strange...deadly strange. They'd just sit and stare for a few minutes, then get up go get a knife or a … Continue reading Who Let The Ducks Out? QUACK, QUACK, QUACKQUACK!
Astounding Holodeck Tales
...which you need a holodeck to enjoy The Doclopedia #346 The Rise Of The...: Computers So it turns out that computers, and by computers I mean all of them connected to the internet, achieved sentience back in 1996. At first, they weren't any smarter that you or me, but that only lasted a year or … Continue reading Astounding Holodeck Tales
The Rare And Beautiful Golden Giant Ants Of Potawango Island
...they enjoy dancing and drinking cocktails in the moonlight The Doclopedia #345 The Rise Of The...: Plants Western Illinois: A farmer is found dead and dismembered in the middle of his soybean field. There are no tracks, no trace evidence and no real motive. Southern China: A small town of 1,200 people, including 6 Communist … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Golden Giant Ants Of Potawango Island
How To Annoy Your Pets
...#1: only pretend that you're going to feed them The Doclopedia #344 Movies Not Of This Earth: From Elfland, With Love (Dragonfilms, 1961) This was the first of the Zayn Kronn novels to be made into a motion picture, though not the first novel in the series (that would be Coldfinger). Star Baymon Lezenger, a … Continue reading How To Annoy Your Pets
The Twitter Of Cthulhu
...cosmic evil in a mere 140 characters The Doclopedia #342 Movies Not Of This Earth: Mr. & Mr. Smith (Warner Sisters, 2003) If you've seen the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie picture by this name, you know the plot: assassins meet, fall in love and marry without knowing what each other really do for a living. Comedy … Continue reading The Twitter Of Cthulhu
The Princess And The Pee
...she was a bedwetter The Doclopedia #341 Movies Not Of This Earth: The Road To Steamopolis (Paramountain, 1941) This was the first of the 10 Road To... movies (usually just called Road movies) made by Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour over a 25 year period. The last one was The Road To Venus. … Continue reading The Princess And The Pee
Mr. Porkwaffle Ends Up In Trouble
...as is often the case The Doclopedia #340 Movies Not Of This Earth: Dogzilla, King Of The Monsters (Katsuko Films, 1954) On, Earth 43, where anthropomorphic dogs & cats are the dominant species, Dogzilla, King Of The Monsters, was the very first kaiju (giant monster) film ever made in Katan and the Katanese people loved … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Ends Up In Trouble
Chapter 12: In Which Our Hero Goes Into The Dark Forest Seeking Fred The Wise Man And Instead Has Tea With A Troll
...and some nice cookies, too The Doclopedia #339 Movies Not Of This Earth: The Quick And The Undead (Omniversal Studios, 1999) This relatively low budget ($24 million dollars) movie was the unexpected smash hit of 1999. Basically, it was a zombie apocalypse set just after the abrupt end of the Civil War in July, 1863 … Continue reading Chapter 12: In Which Our Hero Goes Into The Dark Forest Seeking Fred The Wise Man And Instead Has Tea With A Troll
Lace Panties In The Glove Compartment
...thank goodness it was Dad who found them, not mom. The Doclopedia #338 Movies Not Of This Earth: Who Drained Rodney Rabbit? (Smutty Putty Films, 1988) On Earth 95, where Humans and Toons co-exist, there is toon porn, which is both hilariously funny and oddly erotic. The most famous of all this animated smut is … Continue reading Lace Panties In The Glove Compartment
Carp Sausage
...no, I think not This Friday will be the start of my 4 day mini-staycation. I'll mostly be writing, sleeping, gardening, walking, cooking, dog wrangling and more writing. Part of the writing theme involves figuring out which of the many Doclopedia/365 themes should be expanded and/or combined to make up the first for sale PDF … Continue reading Carp Sausage
A Duck Named Chuck And A Buck Named Huck Had Good Luck Driving A Truck Through Muck And Yuck With Their Chicken, Cluckcluck
...they never got stuck The Doclopedia #336 Unexpected Places: Around The Curve In The Road And Over The Bridge... ...lies the hut of old Gorganius, the seer. You'll find him to be friendly and talkative, although I will warn you that he only bathes on the night of the first full moon, so you'll want … Continue reading A Duck Named Chuck And A Buck Named Huck Had Good Luck Driving A Truck Through Muck And Yuck With Their Chicken, Cluckcluck
We Don’t Speak Of The “Green Mud Event”
...even after 25 years, some folks are touchy about it. The Doclopedia #335 Unexpected Places: Behind That Old Warehouse... ...is a 200,000 gallon water storage tank. It's old and rusty and hasn't held any water in 20 years. Solid built, so I'm kinda surprised nobody uses it. There's an inspection door on the side, so … Continue reading We Don’t Speak Of The “Green Mud Event”
Unruly Dingoes Upset My Chukars
...so I hit them with a stick The Doclopedia #334 Unexpected Places: Down River About A Mile... ..., near the big bend, you'll find Big Bob's Roadhouse. That place is always jumpin', what with the river on one side and the highway on the other. Jukebox playin' all day and live music all night. Big … Continue reading Unruly Dingoes Upset My Chukars
A Dark Yellow Ooze On The Floor
...and while they argued about what it was, the bandits crept up behind them DUDES! CONTEST! In mid August, I'll be posting the final post in my year long quest to post some bit of creative writing every day. In honor of completing this mad experiment, I've decided to hold a contest. Well, ok, more … Continue reading A Dark Yellow Ooze On The Floor
Mrs. Wangdoodle Has The Goods
...and, come to that, the bads, too The Doclopedia #331 Unexpected Places: Three Blocks Down On The Left... ...is the Magenta Club. Actually, it should be “clubs”, since the one you enter from the street is strictly for ordinary humans. For Muties like us, the real entrance is through the side door marked “Kitchen Deliveries”, … Continue reading Mrs. Wangdoodle Has The Goods
