...he sang it to the cops The Doclopedia #2,584 Old Posts, Annotated: The Stuff That’s Made Of Dreams Notations are italicized Wonder Dust From a lecture given by High Wizard Prelby Smatterkin at the Royal School of Wizardry (Who is kind of an old goofball.) “Now it is at about this time in the lecture … Continue reading Blue Johnny Sang His Song
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Hamster Hoedown!
...yee haw! The Doclopedia #2,583 Old Posts, Annotated: A New Breed Of DogNotations are italicized Northern Squirrel Dog In many parts of Canada, hunting squirrels is a popular pastime with rural folks. (Along with drinking heavily, watching hockey, and trying to imitate US nitwits.) That’s why, sometime around 1890, a group of hunters started looking … Continue reading Hamster Hoedown!
Will YOU Be The Next Victim?
...maybe, maybe not The Doclopedia #2,582 Old Posts, Annotated: The Undead Notations are italicized. Ragnar, The Ultimate Skeleton Ragnar was the most feared of all the Howling Horde. (And that's saying something, because that whole horde is big and batshit crazy.) He stood 7’3″ tall, was as strong as any 3 normal men and feared … Continue reading Will YOU Be The Next Victim?
The Yellow Mystic
...not as mystical as you might think, really The Doclopedia #2,581 Old Posts, Annotated: More Assorted Books Notations are italicized. How To Build A Robot Army First off, I give Dr. Angelo Crimari (Class of 1974, Frankenstein Academy) top marks for stating right up front that building a robot army is not cheap. (Average cost … Continue reading The Yellow Mystic
Adventures In The Garden
...if you have a low bar set for "adventure" The Doclopedia #2,580 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Big ChaseThis is the part where I describe the ensuing chase and my escape from Texas.We start heading west, but the freeway is too full of traffic and we can see red lights in the … Continue reading Adventures In The Garden
Not In This Issue: Lemon Curd, Shopping Tips, And Preserving The Patriarchy
...sucks about the lemon curd The Doclopedia #2,587 Old Posts, Annotated: Stuff In My Pockets Notations are italicized A Small Dog Biscuit This is a gourmet dog biscuit, one of 30 baked for Sasha (2012-2022 A great dog and renowned Mad Scientist.) back in 1920 by none other than Georges Auguste Escoffier. When you have … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Lemon Curd, Shopping Tips, And Preserving The Patriarchy
RPG Card Game: The Boardgame
...I have no idea The Doclopedia #2,579 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Football Game Diary, we call her “Hurricane” Pansy because despite having a heart of gold, everything she does leaves chaos and destruction in her wake. Also, she's a bit crazier than is average for the Cross clan.Which is why we … Continue reading RPG Card Game: The Boardgame
Probable Claws
...arrest that cat The Doclopedia #2,578 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Governor's Rally Amarillo, TexasDiary, my life just keeps getting better and better.We get to Amarillo about 3:45, and there are streets blocked off and people all over because the fucking governor is having a campaign rally. Davey drops me off and … Continue reading Probable Claws
Superduck!
...the duck of steel The Doclopedia #2,577 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Stampede Lubbock, Texas Short and sweet this time.Train stopped at Abilene around 3:00 pm. Another rail rider told me that from here, it would be non-stop to Nebraska. I got off.Slept from 7:00 pm until two hours before sunrise in … Continue reading Superduck!
Having A Positive Altitude
...mine is around 14,000 feet The Doclopedia #2,576 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Historical Monument Fredericksburg, Texas Got here about 11:00 am. Was running low on funds, so ran the old “hey, you want to buy a couple of pounds of great weed” scam on not one, but two groups of local … Continue reading Having A Positive Altitude
Selected For Your Pleasure
...or not, we don't care The Doclopedia #2,575 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Congressman's Daughter Austin, Texas Diary, a lot of shit has happened in the last couple of days, so I'm going to just hit the highlights.After evading two carloads of football players and a police car outside Mount Pleasant, I … Continue reading Selected For Your Pleasure
The Adventure Of The Sober Scotsman
...one of Sherlock Holmes trickiest cases The Doclopedia #2,574 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Visit With Grandma Mount Pleasant, TexasWell, diary, my very pleasant week of visiting my grandparents here in this part of Texas has come to an abrupt end. It seems that the young lady that I dallied with on … Continue reading The Adventure Of The Sober Scotsman
I Need Cheese
...a nice camembert will do The Doclopedia #2,573 Are You Kidding Me?: About The Money FAKE? COUNTERFEIT? ALL OF IT? This is a nightmare. We're on the hook for 50% of that five million. Crocetti is not going to just let us walk away from this. Jesus, we're dead. We can't even pass it, because … Continue reading I Need Cheese
Flower Orcs
...much nicer than the other orcs The Doclopedia #2,572 Are You Kidding Me?: With This Dog You're kidding me, right? If I marry you, the dog comes with you? Annika, that dog is ugly, stupid, and if he moved any less, you could just swap him out for a stuffed toy dog. He's like, 60 … Continue reading Flower Orcs
A Foolish Bit Of Frippery
...or a frippy bit of foolishness The Doclopedia #2,571 Are You Kidding Me?: About What Happened Last Night Oh no, Glynis, please tell me things didn't happen the way I sort of remember them. Tell me I didn't make a complete fool of myself at Tony's wedding. Oh no! The whole bottle? Dancing on a … Continue reading A Foolish Bit Of Frippery
Drums For Bums
...and I don't mean butts The Doclopedia #2,570 Are You Kidding Me?: Again, Chan No, Chan, I'm not believing a word you say. I know when I'm being told bullshit. You are not kidding me. And really, couldn't you come up with a better story? I mean, dead people walking around, killing the living? That's … Continue reading Drums For Bums
Episode #76: The Big Feel Up
...rated PG The Doclopedia #2,569 Are You Kidding Me?: With That Outfit No, really, dude, you look like an idiot. I don't care if it's what Grandpa wore to the high society parties, it makes you look like some doofus out of a silent movie. Everyone is going to laugh at you. I'll be embarrassed … Continue reading Episode #76: The Big Feel Up
Three Fish Who Owe Me Favors
...starting with Mr. Goldfish The Doclopedia #2,568 Are You Kidding Me?: About Eddie Wait, wait wait! Run that by me again, Sanji. You say Eddie is Dog-Man? The same Dog-Man that goes out and fights crime? You have gone nuts, girlfriend. Eddie is a nice guy, but he's no Dog-Man. He's just out there at … Continue reading Three Fish Who Owe Me Favors
Stay Out Of The Woods Today!
...and stay out of the plastics, too The Doclopedia #2,567 Are You Kidding Me?: About That Duck “WHAT? $25,000.00? Are you kidding me, Yuri? You're saying that duck we found was a rare breed and a prize winning exhibition bird? That he got loose and the reward was 25 Gs? Oh no, no no no … Continue reading Stay Out Of The Woods Today!
A Big Bag Full Of Squash
...left on a friend's doorstep The Doclopedia #2,566 Grab Bag!...: City Escape On Earth 1-L, a popular live action roleplaying game is City Escape, in which a group of 3 to 6 people try to get out of a pre-designated area of a city without being caught by the Hunters.. Such areas are never smaller … Continue reading A Big Bag Full Of Squash
The True Story Of How Rudy & Emily Got Rich
...rated R The Doclopedia #2,565 Grab Bag!...: “Big Man” YeeFirst off, the name “Big Man” was no joke. He stood 6'3', weighed 300 pounds and was pretty much made of muscle. He was the main enforcer for the Blue Snake gang in in Shanghai from roughly 1928 until his death in 1936. His personal kill … Continue reading The True Story Of How Rudy & Emily Got Rich
Why Don’t We All Just Dance?
...like, right now The Doclopedia #2,564 Grab Bag!...: Elixir Of Random Effect This elixir is expensive, unpredictable, and in surprisingly high demand. Part of this is due to the fact that the effects of it are never harmful in themselves, and they are always powerful.The exact number and type of effects vary, but on average, … Continue reading Why Don’t We All Just Dance?
Spiffy Stuff Just For You
...but not you, you bastard! The Doclopedia #2,563 Grab Bag!...: The 2022 Crazy Game World CupThe 2022 Crazy Game World Cup took place in the Argentina NHT Sanctuary near Sarmiento. Teams represented North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and Oceana. As always, each team played a single match against each of the other … Continue reading Spiffy Stuff Just For You
The Kitty Cats Move To Beverly Hills
...to live among the stars The Doclopedia #2,562 Grab Bag!...: Quincy BearsQuincy Bears were a hot new toy that premiered worldwide in October of 2024 on Earth 3-K. The 3 foot tall colorful teddy bears were actually sophisticated robots designed to play with and protect children. Despite costing $200.00 US, there were 38,000,000 sold by … Continue reading The Kitty Cats Move To Beverly Hills
Pudding For The Pudding God!
...real pudding, not that creamy American shit The Doclopedia #2,561 Grab Bag!...: The Mostly True Tales Of The Time Pirates This is a comic book telling of the many adventures of Captain Blue and his friends as they travel through space, time and other dimensions. It started publication in March of 2023 and was an … Continue reading Pudding For The Pudding God!
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