...and thereby hangs our tale The Doclopedia #1,134 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: The Great Turtle Far out to sea, where the waters are deeper than deep, lives the Great Turtle, the largest “monster” on the planet. He (or is it she?) is a full mile long and almost that wide, with a sawtooth looking … Continue reading A Male Snail With A Pail Of Ale Was In Jail
Tag: Doclopedia
The Cupcake Elves Fight Evil!
...with cream filled cupcakes The Doclopedia #1,133 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: Sea Tigers You might think that these creatures are just given their name because they are striped or have some other tiger-like quality, but you'd be wrong. They are real tigers that can swim quite well in the shallow waters of Sasora Bay. … Continue reading The Cupcake Elves Fight Evil!
No Say Drugs Just To
...I am SOOOO stoned Yes, Gentle Readers, I'm starting another "500 Doclopedia Entries in 365 Days" death march. Tune in daily for new high strangeness. The Doclopedia #1,132 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: The Eye Beast Nobody knows where the Eye Beast came from, but it has been haunting the Circle Sea in the area … Continue reading No Say Drugs Just To
Doc Tempest: The Wall Of Voodoo
...from the May, 1999 issue The Doclopedia #1,131 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: Giant Sea Snakes If you were to sail 200 miles due south of Black Pig Island, you would find the low and swampy island cluster known as the Snake Islands. It is here that the Giant Sea Snakes come to mate, … Continue reading Doc Tempest: The Wall Of Voodoo
Extreme Ducks
...they are NOT your ordinary waterfowl The Doclopedia #1,129Strange Bandanas: The Tiger Striped One I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one...This bandana is cursed. When I put it on, I transform into a 7 foot tall man/tiger and go out seeking fresh meat to eat. My … Continue reading Extreme Ducks
My Life Among The Crazy People
...AKA my friends and familyThe Doclopedia #1,127Strange Bandanas: The Purple Paisley OneI own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one...Oh, the stories I could tell of my faithful purple paisley bandana! There was that time, in 1964 East Berlin, when I used it to escape the hot … Continue reading My Life Among The Crazy People
The Seriously Funny, But Also Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The League Of Extraordinary Game Designers
...co-starring her trained oyster, Merline The Doclopedia #1,124Creature Features: Comrade DraculaBack in 1966, a group of radical artists with Communist leanings decided to make a horror movie that glorified communism. Why they chose the horror genre is a mystery, but the result was “Comrade Dracula”, a film that was long on strange anti-capitalist rants and soft … Continue reading The Seriously Funny, But Also Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The League Of Extraordinary Game Designers
Mr. Porkwaffle Joins The Circus
...as a knife thrower. Hilarity ensued. The Doclopedia #1,122Creature Features: It Came From Kansas!1959, OK StudiosStarring: Rick Munson, David Hall, Annie Early, Rhonda Patterson, Kevin Early, Joe LaswellRunning Time: 102 minutesLow budget sci-fi movie set in a small town in north central Oklahoma. Road construction in southern Kansas accidentally releases a 10 foot tall lizard man … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Joins The Circus
The 87 Things That You Need To Know About Crocodiles
...#6: Never pull their tail The Doclopedia #1,121Creature Features: The Son In Law Of FrankensteinMade in 1967 for less than fifty thousand dollars, “The Son In Law of Frankenstein” was written, produced, directed and starred legendary budget movie maker SamRay Wood in the title role. Other money saving casting came in the form of Nancy Olden, … Continue reading The 87 Things That You Need To Know About Crocodiles
Not In This Issue: Cheeseburgers, Skateboards Or Vikings
...maybe next month The Doclopedia #1,120A Child's Book Of...: SurvivalFrom the introduction...Listen up, kid! This book will help you survive out in the world. It's going to be tough, but if you learn the things in this book, you'll be able to live and grow up.You've probably been given this book by a nursebot or maybe … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Cheeseburgers, Skateboards Or Vikings
The Rare And Beautiful Squealing Lizards Of Potawango Island
...they drop out of trees onto your head The Doclopedia #1,119 A Child's Book Of...: Aliens A few excerpts: BALROGIANS are named after the Balrog from “Lord of the Rings, but they are not evil at all. Standing 15 feet tall, the Balrogians are sometimes referred to as the “Gardeners of the Galaxy” because they … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Squealing Lizards Of Potawango Island
Crazy Dogs, Criminal Cats, Dancing Goats And Befuddled Humans
...on the Magic Bus The Doclopedia #1,118A Child's Book Of...: NecromancyFrom the introduction: “Hello, child! If you have found this book, it means that you are VERY SPECIAL. Do you know what makes you special? Why, it's your ability to do MAGIC! You are not like other people, oh no. You are MUCH BETTER than they … Continue reading Crazy Dogs, Criminal Cats, Dancing Goats And Befuddled Humans
Doomraiders Of The Purple Planet!
...a new Republic serial The Doclopedia #1,117 A Child's Book Of...: SCIENCE! This wonderful book will introduce boys and girls age 6 and up to the wonders of our Modern Age. Newly revised for 1910, it now covers the great inventions powered by steam, internal combustion, electricity, chemistry and the newly discovered etheric energy of … Continue reading Doomraiders Of The Purple Planet!
Teaching Betty To Bop
...wop a loo bop! The Doclopedia #1,114The Alphabet: X is for…Xorolxee......is an earth-like planet located 300 light years from Earth. It orbits a yellow star slightly (2% larger) than our own and is the fourth planet in a system of 10. Like Earth, it has a large moon and plenty of water (65% of the planetary … Continue reading Teaching Betty To Bop
Don’t Be A Duck!
...wait, what? (Note: This is my first Doclopedia entry for a famous living person. Thank goodness for satire laws. Please don't kill me, Wil.) The Doclopedia #1,113 The Alphabet: W is for… Wil Wheaton... ...in our universe, is an actor, writer and champion of all things geeky. His motto, well known to his millions … Continue reading Don’t Be A Duck!
The Totally Goofy, Yet Still Very Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Tweenage Superhero
...co-starring her pet duck, Malcom The Doclopedia #1,112The Alphabet: V is for… Vien Vong... ...is a town on the western shore of Lake Vong, the fourth largest lake in the Nimyang Empire. Indeed, “vien” means “place by” in the Nimyac language. It is an important stopover for both travelers on the Haon River, which both feeds and drains … Continue reading The Totally Goofy, Yet Still Very Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Tweenage Superhero
Doc Tempest VS The Princess Of Death
...from the December, 1955 issue The Doclopedia #1,110The Alphabet: T is for… Trout Pudding......(with or without herring sauce) has been a very popular dessert dish on CatEarth for over 300 years. Basically a vanilla pudding with finely chopped raw trout and a mix of small rodent parts, most humans would find it revolting, but most dogs would … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Princess Of Death
My Other Dog Is A Mad Scientist
...and my other other dog is a geek and my other other other dog is a robot and my cat is too cool for school. The Doclopedia #1,108The Alphabet: R is for… Royal Robotic Guardians... ...are the official guards of New Buckingham Palace and Her Majesty Queen Victoria. Built by Professor Dahlia Lindell-Phipps, these nine foot tall robots … Continue reading My Other Dog Is A Mad Scientist
You Can’t Trust A Smiling Demon
...you also can't trust the frowning, laughing, crying, sleeping, thoughtful or amused demons The Doclopedia #1,105 The Alphabet: O is for… Ogres... ...are found in most realities where there is Magic. In about 4 out of 5 of these worlds, ogres are big and ugly and very often not very bright. They tend to be … Continue reading You Can’t Trust A Smiling Demon
Eat More Prunes!
...it's the American thing to do! The Doclopedia #1,103The Alphabet: M is for… Melvin 4......was the final android created by the Mad Scientist known as Doctor Zero (real name: Harold Alan Olmstead). His aim had been to create a killer android that could pass as an ordinary nerd. Melvin 1 had looked the part, but was too … Continue reading Eat More Prunes!
Creepy Lemurs Bullied My Voles
...and now my voles are crying WOOHOO! Doclopedia entries! The Doclopedia #1,102 The Alphabet: L is for… Labrador Deceivers... ...are a very special breed of dog found on Earth 3. They are not used for hunting waterfowl or retrieving anything from the water. Instead, these large and very powerful dogs are used to hunt sasquatch, … Continue reading Creepy Lemurs Bullied My Voles
The Fattest Mouse Gets Eaten First
...and other proverbs The Doclopedia #1,101 The Alphabet: K is for… Kangaroo Uprising... ...that's what it was, mate! The bloody Kangs rose up against the Koalas and Wombats, trying to take control of Australia. It was a damned close thing at first, what with the Cockatoos and Wallabys on their side and us with … Continue reading The Fattest Mouse Gets Eaten First
Chapter 457: In Which Our Hero, Armed Only With A Sharp Stick And A Bottle Of Port, Uses A Clever Disguise To Defeat A French Patrol
...oh, those easily confused Frenchies! LOOK! Right down there! TWO Doclopedia entries! I'M BAAAACK! The Doclopedia #1,099 The Alphabet: I is for… Ig The Pig... ...was the nickname given to Ignacio Perez, a young mutant who lived in Ciudad Juarez. His mutation made him look quite piggish, but it also made him very … Continue reading Chapter 457: In Which Our Hero, Armed Only With A Sharp Stick And A Bottle Of Port, Uses A Clever Disguise To Defeat A French Patrol
Happy Pigs & Dancing Goats
...admit it, you're smiling now. The Doclopedia #1,098 The Alphabet: H is for… Handy Tool... ...is the Miracle Tool of Our Time! Created right here in the United States of America by the World Renowned Scientist, Professor Joseph Finkler, Handy Tool will replace all of the following tools in Your Toolbox: Hammer! Pliers! Steam … Continue reading Happy Pigs & Dancing Goats
The Rare And Beautiful Red Nippled Tree Dogs Of Potawango Island
...they climb trees to catch tree chickens The Doclopedia #1,096 The Alphabet: F is for… Fog Monsters... ...are a magical beast that likes to hunt humans and humanoids for food. These creatures are not actually made of fog, but can create it magically so as to hide their presence. The fact that Fog Monsters … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Red Nippled Tree Dogs Of Potawango Island
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