...featuring her narcoleptic Aunt Frieda The Doclopedia #1,061 Lost Letters: From Fiancee To A Mad Scientist Dearest Victor. I am so sorry we argued yesterday. It was my fault, darling, for not realizing that you need time alone to complete your important work, though I know nothing of what that work is. Please forgive … Continue reading The Creepy And Mysterious, Yet Also Whimsical, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Voyage To Mu
Tag: humor
Red Red Whine
...Shut up, you communists! It's over, damn it! The Doclopedia #1,052 The Toolbox: Anti-Vibration Clamps These handy clamps come in many sizes and will neutralize all vibrations on anything the clamp. This is accomplished by using voodoo physics. Anti-Vibration Clamps are often used inside giant robots, starships, time cannons, airships and buildings that house sex … Continue reading Red Red Whine
Why I Had To Apologize To The Vampires Of Paris
...I was singing "Werewolves of London" The Doclopedia #1,050 The Toolbox: Left Handed Screw Polarizer Thank you for purchasing a Yuland-Weytani Left Handed Screw Polarizer. This precision instrument, used properly, should give you years of faithful service. How To Operate A Left Handed Screw Polarizer 1: Activate the the SmartTool OS by pressing the … Continue reading Why I Had To Apologize To The Vampires Of Paris
Handsome Joe Goes To The Movies
...to see "Iron Hound 3" The Doclopedia #1,048 The Toolbox: Duck Tape So you've got a busted wing or maybe some frayed webbing on your foot. My friend, you need all new, 100% organic Duck Tape! It has a thousand uses around the nest! Use Duck Tape to reinforce your bill after a long summer … Continue reading Handsome Joe Goes To The Movies
Pieboy Has An Encounter With Mexican Jenny
...afterward, there was chafing to deal with The Doclopedia #1,043 Ten Things You Didn't Know About...: The Doclopedia 1: There is some version of it on 240,975,398 versions of Earth. 2: It is very near to achieving sentience. 3: There are Classified Themes that you will never see. 4: On 78,000 Earths, it is … Continue reading Pieboy Has An Encounter With Mexican Jenny
The Rare And Beautiful Stinking Fern Of Potawango Island
...they smell just like rotten eggs. The Doclopedia #1,042 Ten Things You Didn't Know About...: The Great Gooey God 1: If you stare at him, you'll go insane. 2: If you touch him, you'll go insane. 3: If you hear him speak, you'll go insane. 4: If he looks at you , you'll go insane. … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Stinking Fern Of Potawango Island
The Magic Dog And The Happy Cat Go To The Fair
...and they rode the carousel The Doclopedia #1,030 For A Good Time, Call...: Fillandor The Incredible Be it known to all citizens of this great city that, for a limited time, the Great Wizard Fillandor the Incredible will be here offering up the use of his amazing powers to one and all for mere … Continue reading The Magic Dog And The Happy Cat Go To The Fair
My Life Among The Other Worlds
...closes a chapter tonight Wow...I actually made it to my 1,000th Doclopedia post. I'm amazed and impressed with myself and a little bit sad and a bunch relieved. I want to thank those of you who have read and commented on these bits of imaginative rambling over the years. Please don't think this is the … Continue reading My Life Among The Other Worlds
The Totally True, But Still Unbelievable, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Traveling Worm Circus
...co-starring her favorite Great Aunt, Hepzibah Cornwinkle I know, I know...I've been slacking off on the last few Doclopedia posts. My only excuse is that first, my Sweet Angel of a wife, Grace got sick with a chest cold, then I got sick with either a bad attack of allergies or a bitch of … Continue reading The Totally True, But Still Unbelievable, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Traveling Worm Circus
The Secret Lives Of Dog Toys
...mostly, they lament being covered in spit. The Doclopedia #996 Quick Recipes From Around The Multiverse: Nick's Eye Opener Breakfast Genre: Pulp “So last night you had a full meal of double crosses, betrayal, lies and a real nice stab through the heart by a dame you thought you could trust. Then, for dessert, … Continue reading The Secret Lives Of Dog Toys
Long Cats Are Watching You!
...and ready to pounce! The Doclopedia #993 Unsuccessful Comic Book Heroes: SuperMom Genre: Humor, Supers In the mid 60s, Slammo Comics really wanted to jump on the “superheros with problems” bandwagon that the big comic company had ridden to amazing success. The main problem was that the big company had already done all the … Continue reading Long Cats Are Watching You!
A Wonderful Book About Terrible Children
...including the story "The Little Boy Who Ate Mud" The Doclopedia #991 Unsuccessful Comic Book Heroes: Butterfly Man Genre: Humor, Supers This poorly thought out hero was introduced in 1968 as an attempt to cash in on the whole hippie/Summer of Love thing. His ability to fly and shoot out “peace … Continue reading A Wonderful Book About Terrible Children
The Fantastic Adventures Of Doctor Tempest In The Land Of Dreams
...from the August 1896 issue The Doclopedia #990 Poultry That Saved The Day: The Chicken That Prevented They End Of Life As We Know It Genre: Humor, Science Fiction The “Nine High Pitched Tones Followed By Three Very Low Tones” (closest approximation we can put in print) were a race with two very … Continue reading The Fantastic Adventures Of Doctor Tempest In The Land Of Dreams
Nixed Mutts
...I know, BAD Doc The Doclopedia #989 Poultry That Saved The Day: The Duck Who Stopped The Zombies Genre: Humor, Horror Dr. Taringani had been hiding in the Safe Room for two days, ever since that Rhesus monkey had come back to “life” on the operating table and attacked Gary and Francine, then crashed … Continue reading Nixed Mutts
The 43 Things You Shouldn’t Sleep With
...#1: ex-wives The Doclopedia #988 Poultry That Saved The Day: The Turkey Who Saved The Queen Genre: Humor Good Queen Graciella was much beloved by her subjects in the kingdom of Artvisia. She was a young woman, but wise and just and caring, just as her mother had been during the 30 years of … Continue reading The 43 Things You Shouldn’t Sleep With
Curse Of The Devil Newts
...the lead story in Strange Amphibian Tales The Doclopedia #987 Poultry That Saved The Day: The Goose Who Stopped The Aliens Genre: Humor On April 21st, 1961, the alien race known as the ReeEEn came to Earth in 50 interstellar war craft that each measured two miles across and were bristling with weapons. It took … Continue reading Curse Of The Devil Newts
The Cupcake Elves Use Their Powers For Evil
...Mmmmm, evil cupcakes The Doclopedia #985 It Came From The Garden!: Buford's Big Melon Genre: Humor It was early August of 1953 when Buford Oakley packed up the biggest watermelon from his garden and headed off to the Texas State Fair. The melon in question was a 30 pounder and looked pretty damned perfect … Continue reading The Cupcake Elves Use Their Powers For Evil
Living Metal Laser Cats
...because regular Laser Cats aren't strange enough The Doclopedia #982 It Came From The Garden!: Garfoon, The Living Bean Vine Genre: Science Fiction, Humor For three million years, the tiny meteorite that held the consciousness of Garfoon, Master of Worlds, lay just a few inches under the soil that would one day become Herbie Foble's … Continue reading Living Metal Laser Cats
How To Conquer The World With Simple Household Items
...third edition, revised and expanded WOOHOO! FOUR (4) Doclopedia entries today! Can I get an "Amen!"? The Doclopedia #968 Dinner Menu: Robot World Genre: Robots, Science Fiction, Humor Chateau de Chevron 40 weight oil...Zinc shavings served on silicon slices...Gold, Silver & Platinum leaf Salad dressed with a light mineral oil...Filet of Steel, thinly … Continue reading How To Conquer The World With Simple Household Items
Tricky Monkeys Get All The Cookies
...even the Thin Mints The Doclopedia #953 Things You Should Not Do: Use The Term “Space Marines” Right off the bat, there have been spacefaring Marines as part of the military organizations of various advanced civilizations for the last 1.25 billion years. Today (2013, Earth Time) roughly 23,000 species have Space Marines. Any one … Continue reading Tricky Monkeys Get All The Cookies
Adventure Module V-1: Journey To The Forgotten Temple Of Evilness
...which is haunted by the Scary Monsters of Scariness The Doclopedia #951 Things You Should Not Do: Tamper With The Laws Of Nature “But Herr Doctor, you must not attempt this experiment! If Man had been meant to live alongside the dinosaurs, they would not have died out! The fact that this is 1887 … Continue reading Adventure Module V-1: Journey To The Forgotten Temple Of Evilness
The Wildly Improbable, Yet Still Down To Earth, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Yellow Elephant
...featuring her good friend, Selma Pookinwinkel The Doclopedia #950 Things You Should Not Do: Steal Vink Eggs Despite the fact that the eggs of a Vink are delicious, nutritious and large, you take your life in your hands every time you rob a Vink nest. The female Vink can weigh up to 1,800 pounds and … Continue reading The Wildly Improbable, Yet Still Down To Earth, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Yellow Elephant
Rabbi Bob Goes On A Road Trip With A Turtle
...and two strippers from North Beach The Doclopedia #948 Pie!: Chicken Pot Pie “Ah yes, a most delicious chicken pot pie, don't you agree? Branwell, please convey our pleasure with dinner to Mrs. Zelogny. And ask Walton to set out the reserve brandy. Now, my friends, let us adjourn to my workshop where I … Continue reading Rabbi Bob Goes On A Road Trip With A Turtle
Bubblegum In The Microwave
...an ill advised experiment A long post today, Gentle Readers. The Doclopedia #947 Pie!: Lemon Meringue Pie It was 12:15 on Saturday, May 22, 1966 that Porky Patterson's mother put a nice fresh lemon meringue pie in the fridge for dinner. At 12:45, she left to go visit Porky's Aunt Hilda on the other side … Continue reading Bubblegum In The Microwave
Caution: Blogger May Be Intoxicated!
...heh, heh..."may" be...heh, heh The Doclopedia #946 Pie!: Summerberry Pie “Oh my, now that hit the spot, that did. Nothing like a nice summerberry pie, is there? Puts me in mind of that time Kree, Sonk and I joined up with those elves and humans on that mad journey to find that wizard staff. … Continue reading Caution: Blogger May Be Intoxicated!
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