Dogs Playing Cards, Cats Watching TV, Bunnies Going Online

…a typical night at home

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The Doclopedia #1,529

What The Hell Was That?: The Wet Thing

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“I assure you, Detective. That neither my staff, nor I, nor the guests involved are intoxicated or hallucinating. We saw what we saw and I fully expect you to get to the bottom of it and find the person or responsible for this. Just look at these wet carpets! And that elevator has the controls shorted out due to wetness. People slipped and fell while walking across the lobby! Then, there are the guests and staff who are suffering no little distress due to having seen that…that…THING! Now I want to know what you intend to do about it!”

“Okay, Mister…Yardley, is it? Let me see if I’ve got this straight. This wet thing, which you all say looked like a gorilla with horns and a tail, and was made out of water, comes busting up out of that fountain over there. Then, it runs around the lobby, jumping on things and getting everything soaked. Then it runs through the bar over there, scaring several people and, again, getting everything wet. Then it comes over here, jumps in an elevator, and now you have no idea where it is. Is that correct?”

“Yes, it is. We did get a call that is was on several floors, from the third up to the fifteenth.”

“Okay, right. Well, we have officers heading up there and…”

“Lieutenant! They’ve found it up on the seventeenth floor! You won’t believe it when you see it!”

“Aw, Christ! Which one of these elevators is still working?”
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The Doclopedia #1,530

What The Hell Was That?: The Fast Thing

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“Cough…cough…cough! Damn, Paco, what the hell is that thing? Did you see how fast it was moving? It must have been going 200 miles an hour, easy.”

“Cough! Hell if I know, bro. It looked like some kind of lizard/horse thing. I think it had six or eight legs. Bro, it had green fire coming out of it’s ass!”

“I know, right? Whatever it is, it kicked up a shitload of dust. Look, there is is, hauling ass across those hills. Jesus, it’s really traveling.”

“I think we ought to get the fuck out of here, Ray. That thing could come back and run right over us. Oh shit, look! It’s heading toward town! We gotta get home!”