….stinky, but fun!
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The Doclopedia #2,192
New From Wilton & Cox: Electrical Gloves
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One of our newest items! When powered on by a long press of the buttons on each glove, they can deliver enough of a shock to stun a horse. You must touch with both gloves. Available in several styles and colors. Charger sold separately.
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The Doclopedia #2,193
New From Wilton & Cox: Hypno Ring
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This is a one of a kind item and priced accordingly. It has come into our hands via an agent in Europe. This ring is set with a large girasol (fire opal) and when shown to most people, it causes them to stare into the sparkling depths of the stone. Within seconds, a soothing voice can have them hypnotized. At that point, they will do or say whatever they are told to do.
This item will be auctioned at our New York store at 9:00 pm, June 1st, 1919. Minimum bid is $5,000.00.
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CritterCon 13, The Trip Home: In which everyone goes home, but not before I prove that I am twice the scalawag my mother always said I was. Since Sweetie zipped along all night at about 80 miles an hour, by the time we all woke up around 8 this morning about 850 miles from Ctitter City. We ate a relaxed breakfast around 9:30 and then everyone started getting ready to go home. But before that could happen, I had an announcement to make. It went like this. “Folks, I'm glad y'all came along on another CritterCon trip. I hope we can do it next year without time traveling to a plague free year. However, I have a confession to make. Two, actually. See, I kind of got tired of not seeing many new and goofy roadside attractions, so I went way into the past and looted a bunch of sunken Spanish ships of their gold and silver. Then, in 2018, I sold it to some very wealthy folks who don't ask questions about where antiquities might come from. I got about 5 times the value in gold or silver for each piece. It came to a shitload of money. Then I spent some time in the past giving anonymous grants and gifts to many roadside attractions, including most of the ones we visited on this trip. I did NOT expect them to fuck up the Serial Killer Museum, but I'm pleased with how the rest turned out.” At this point, there was much talking and I had to calm them down. “But wait, there's more! I have also given large chunks of money to tiny little attractions, old closed ones, civic special days & festivals and even some collectors and builders of strange things. I did all that 5 years ago, and if the damned virus hadn't screwed things up, we would have toured many of them this year. So, if vaccines arrive and we can avoid the old timey wimey, next year, there will be an all new, never before seen by us, bunch of new roadside attractions.” Insert here a half hour of talking about what a devious rascal I am, followed by us popping to various locations to drop odd traveling companions. We are home now and everyone is either napping or off doing stuff. I'll be off soon to take care of some things before a short nap, but first, some thoughts. I'm grateful to everyone that came along this year, from those who have made it to many cons to the first timers. I REALLY hope that there is no memorial to Sasha or anyone else next year. I figure in about 24 hours, both Grace and Sasha will remember that Cakes and Blue will be leaving Casa Cross in a few weeks. That fact is sitting pretty heavy on my mind and heart already. Cakes might be at the con next year, but I knd of doubt Blue will be. It's a big multiverse and there are a lot of people to help and a guy can get prety distracted. I'm sensing that Sweetie wants to seriously redecorate and shuffle things around, so the Bus will look different inside next year. And finally, I just cannot wait for everyone to see the two Giant Jesus statutes U put up the money to build back in 2015. I neglected to mention those today :) See y'all next year! Doc
Critter Con 13 is over,
but we will be back next year for…
Critter Con 14
With all new roadside attractions!
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