…David Byrne is gonna either laugh or sue me
.
Life On The Magic Bus
Chapter 9, Part 11: Across America At Random
Pulling the final leg
A gathering of road-worn geeks
8/18/2014
Gen Con always has it’s official start on a Thursday, but the unofficial start is always the day before that, on Wednesday. Which is why Doc Clay and the merry passengers of the Magic Bus were very glad to be ending, or almost ending, their cross country trip.
It was Tuesday morning and they were heading down a New York State road on their way to Mount Airy, Maryland. In a few hours, all of the folks who had crossed America At Random, would meet up to party and swap stories about their trip adventures. Tomorrow, they would form a convoy into Baltimore and the convention. Tonight, they would party.
The trip to Maryland was fairly uneventful, so they made a couple of short videos at a fast food joint and a petting zoo. At the latter, Flash lost an argument with a goose, who delivered a wicked bite to his tail. This left him with both a kink in his tail and a poor opinion of large waterfowl.
At 3:10 in the afternoon, Doc & the crew pulled into the farm where the gathering would take place. 8 of the 15 vehicles were there ahead of them, most having arrived in the last hour. After pulling into the assigned spot, everyone left the bus and wandered around to say hello. Within another hour, the remaining 6 vehicles arrived.
Doc walked over to Phil Lacewood and gave him a hug.
“Phil, I have a bottle of the good stuff from Scotland!”
“Doc, so do I! Let us begin the taste testing!”
Over the next several hours, there was much eating, drinking, telling of stories, all being streamed out onto the internet by about a dozen of the online voters who had come to the shindig.
Among the words immortalized on video, and viewed by something over 200,000 people, were…
“We woke up at a falling down old ranch a mile from the Mexican border and went to bed that night at a campground way the hell up in the Rockies”
“The dog then proceeded to piss on the officer’s boot.”
“Yeah, the middle of Wyoming doesn’t have a single decent donut shop.”
“It wasn’t a log! It was a big goddamn alligator!”
“We may never get the smell of dog farts out of that car.”
“My forever answer to how many teeny tiny towns there are in the USA will be “MILLIONS!”.”
“We may never get the smell of gamer farts out of that bus.”
“No shit, we drove 316 miles north, then only 66 miles east.”
“We should have known what the trip would be like when the cat crapped on my lap just outside Gold Beach, Oregon.”
“I’m pretty sure my big tits got us out of that ticket.”
“Trust me, spending the night in Nowhereville , Mississippi, is creepy as fuck.”
“I had forgotten how many bugs you drive through in the Midwest. Motorcycles for this trip may have been a mistake.”
“Dude, it was like a pig reenactment of the Great Escape!”
By 1:00 in the morning, everyone had staggered off to bed. Doc was getting ready for bed himself, when Grace asked him if he had fun on this trip.
“Yeah, pretty much. Didn’t get to hit too many roadside attractions, but we’ll get enough for a good article or two on our way home. All in all though, I’ve been on worse long trips.”
And then he fell back on the bed and was out like a light
Life On The Magic Bus
Chapter 9, Part 12: Across America At Random
Off To The Con
The Fun Never Stops
8/19/2014
It was 10:00 in the morning. All of the vehicles were loaded up for the expected 1 hour drive to the convention center and hotels. Before leaving, a representative from each one got up and said a few words. The last one up was Doc.
“Well, folks, this was sure enough something we’ll always remember. Our internet overlords sent us to half the little “towns” in this country, the sadists.”
Much laughter.
“Now, next year, GenCon is back in Milwaukee at the new and much larger convention center.”
Loud cheering.
“So, for most of us, that means not nearly as far to drive. I don’t think next year we will do this random trip stuff again.”
Boos and moaning.
“But, last night, a group of us, filled with alcohol and madness, came up with a very cool idea, one that requires a couple of caravans. Maybe three or four.”
Silence and wide eyes.
“We like to call it FIFTY GAMES IN FIFTY STATES AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!”
Silence, then the crowd goes wild.
“Stay tuned for more info in a month or two, folks.”
As Doc stepped down off the picnic table he had been standing on, Grace said, “You guys have lost your fucking minds.”
Doc laughed. “So, does that mean you won’t go with us?”
“Hell yes I’ll go with you! Somebody has to be the voice of sanity.”
And then they kissed and headed for the Bus.
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