...actually, it's not festive if you're a pig Well, voting closed on the latest poll and it was a tie. As always, ties are broken by me, so I cast my vote for Episodes From My Wild & Misspent Youth. I may regret doing that, but telling true life adventures about myself is easier than … Continue reading A Day At The Pork Festival
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
The 10 Things You Can Do With A Bag Full Of Snakes
...that's a large bag, not a small one Hey, you! Voting on This Poll closes at about 4:00 pm PST, so if you haven't voted, do it now, please. In writing news, I do believe I have recharged my dilithium crystals, since last night, I knocked out just shy of a thousand words of an … Continue reading The 10 Things You Can Do With A Bag Full Of Snakes
Robotic Pirates From The Earth’s Core
...Pellucidarian plunderers So, tonight, I go to turn on the oven to cook a roast and there's a flash of light, a loud BZZZZZTTTT! sound and lotsa smoke. After a moment's surprise, I turned it off. so much for oven cookery in the Cross household for...well, until I get a job and mounting bills are … Continue reading Robotic Pirates From The Earth’s Core
Doc Tempest VS The Killer In Yellow
...from the July, 1956 issue Just to prove that I'm still insane, I walked 5.1 miles today in a mere 98 minutes...in 96 degree heat. I was pretty well wiped out when I got home, but I've bounced back pretty well. Mind you, those miles were walked without Daisy, whom I walked another 1.5 miles … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Killer In Yellow
The League Of Extraordinary Middle Aged Gamers
...they'll save the world gaming Update My gaming group has taken August off, so as to allow me to get the Fall Fantasy series ready for it's debut in early September. So far, things go well. I have enough of the area around the PC's homeland mapped out for a start. I'm halfway through doing … Continue reading The League Of Extraordinary Middle Aged Gamers
The Natural History Of The Mousebird
...with many color photographs Please vote in the Uncle Doc Gets Creative poll I'm kind of amazed that "End of Civilization" or "My Wild & Misspent Youth" aren't doing better. I guess I forgot that "Superheroes & Supervillains" would draw geeks like a moth to a flame:) Oh, by the way, superhero voters, there won't … Continue reading The Natural History Of The Mousebird
Mexican Jenny Meets The King Of San Diego
...she must have liked him, cos she titty flashed him STUFF 1: Dear Senator McCain, Recently, one of your rightwing nutcase bloggers spoke disparagingly about Dungeons & Dragons and, by extension, all roleplaying gamers. I do not hold you personally responsible for this, since I'm pretty sure you consider it a good day when you … Continue reading Mexican Jenny Meets The King Of San Diego
Radioactive Fish Products
...that's some dangerous sushi So, I've been thinking that I want to do one of my creative writing exercises during the month of September. Something I must do every day of the month, sorta like I had planned for the 365 Days, 365 Characters thing back in 2006. Not that thinking up a new Subject … Continue reading Radioactive Fish Products
X Marks The Spot, Y Marks The Rover, Z Marks The Fido
...if a dog bites me for that, I deserve it Well, kids, all goes well here at the old homestead. Of course, even tho Grace and I (and The Girls) just finished our dinner, our imaginary duplicates are spending the night in Tucumcari, New Mexico on their drive back from DogCon. We expect them home … Continue reading X Marks The Spot, Y Marks The Rover, Z Marks The Fido
Turkey Faced Monsters Are Hiding In Your Closet
...waiting to pay you back for many Thanksgivings Now that all that GenCon shit is old news, here's an important announcement... Countdown to DunDraCon 33 180 days until DunDraCon 33 opens (Feb. 13, 2009) 15 days until Pre-reg. and Events Submission opens (Sep. 1, 2008) Be there or be square, kids.
Doc Tempest And The Green Fire Death
...from the July 1962 issue DogCon 1, Last Day The Dealer's Room, she is closed...the seminars, they are done...the Art Show? History...Gaming gots 2 more hours, then it's all she wrote...DogCon 1 is over. The seminar I was part of, "I Hate .....!", was packed. As the title indicates, it was a bitchfest for the … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Green Fire Death
Junior Muskrat Wins A New Car
...with leather interior DogCon 1, Day 3 The deal with being a "Featured GM" at this con (and if I didn't mention it before, I am one of 24 "Featured GM's") is that you run at least 16 hours of games over 3 days and participate in one of 3 seminars. You get some pretty … Continue reading Junior Muskrat Wins A New Car
Catgirl Yami Rides Again
...more fake anime DogCon 1, Day 2 1: The TOON/OTE game finished up a half an hour early, at 6:30. It was a rousing success, with only one PC actually dying, but then he came back as a toon, so it was cool. Tiffany Trilobite was rescued, the evil Tiffany Trilobite got dipped and everyone … Continue reading Catgirl Yami Rides Again
They Took The “A” Train, But Never Gave It Back
...apologies to Duke Ellington Dog Con 1, Day 2 Another one by the numbers, kids. And to think that the day is only half over:) 1. At 9:00 this morning, after a hearty breakfast, Grace, The Girls and I went to a day spa for people and their pets. It was my first time at … Continue reading They Took The “A” Train, But Never Gave It Back
The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Mole Of Potawango Island
...they wander about, singing show tunes We interrupt our regularly scheduled fictional con report for the following long ass meme, which is composed of portions of meme's on my friend delazan's LJ. 1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:28 am, cos The Girls were demanding their Second Breakfast 2. Diamonds or pearls? … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Mole Of Potawango Island
Giant Sized Pancakes
...for giant sized appetites DogCon 1, Day 1 It's midnight and I'm a wee bit tipsy. Or maybe drunk. Whatever. Anyway, I'm typing this from the bigass bar on top of the Hyatt, which has free inter-fuckin'-net access. And Guinness on tap at a very reasonable price. So, here is my day by the numbers. … Continue reading Giant Sized Pancakes
Arthur Has Quite A Collection Of Severed Heads
...mostly from Mormons and Seventh Day Adventists who ring his doorbell in the morning DogCon 1, Day 1 There is more than a bit of insanity in running a TOON game at eight fucking AM in the morning, but despite my burning desire to be back in bed, great players (including Ms. Miranda Jones) and … Continue reading Arthur Has Quite A Collection Of Severed Heads
Mr. Porkwaffle Goes To A Luncheon
...and hilarity ensues Con Report: DogCon 1, Day Zero A Bit Of Clarification: DogCon is not for dogs, altho there are many here in town. No, Dog Con takes it's name from the fact that Wilted Springs, Texas, bills itself as "The dog and cat resort center of the universe". And they ain't lyin'! This … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Goes To A Luncheon
Caring For Your New Pet Yak
...a must for yak lovers Con Report: DogCon Day Zero Before I launch into the (pre) con report on our day so far, let's recap the trip to get here. Saturday, August 9, 3:00 AM: Car has been packed up since 7:00 PM Thursday. Loaded sleepy wife and sleepy dogs into car. Myself, I'm wide … Continue reading Caring For Your New Pet Yak
Dames, Diamonds, Dope & Death
...a Spade Marlowe mystery ATTENTION, MY LJ BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO ARE NOT GOING TO GENCON I invite you to attend the totally fictional and LJ exclusive DogCon. It will be way cooler than that stupid old GenCon that we won't be at. I shall start doing daily DogCon reports starting Wednesday. I invite you … Continue reading Dames, Diamonds, Dope & Death
In Case Of Insanity, Break Glass…LOTS Of Glass
...and kick in a few doors, too Uncle Doc's Fun Facts 1: Just in case your Very Naughty Basset Hound ever pulls a bag of semi-frozen chicken thighs off of a kitchen counter and eats at least 6 of them...INCLUDING THE BONES...try not to panic. Turns out, dogs can crunch up and digest raw chicken … Continue reading In Case Of Insanity, Break Glass…LOTS Of Glass
Terrible Toads
...mean and violent they was, guv HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE! You are the best, sweetheart! I love you.
Nuclear Powered Pogosticks With Optional Laser Beams
...it's what the cool kids hop around on On Monday, my Sweet Angel, Grace, will be 50 years old. I'm pretty sure there was a mistake somewhere, since she seems much younger to me. Anyway, since Mondays suck for birthdays, The Girls and I are going to spirit her away for a day of random … Continue reading Nuclear Powered Pogosticks With Optional Laser Beams
The Astounding Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Army Of Steam Giants
...from the July 1893 issue More Fiction: "Welcome Back, Sally Smithfield" (Note: This is an excerpt from "The Return Of Sally Smithfield", the second most popular issue in the series history.) Sally didn't immediately open her eyes, because she was pretty sure she was suffering the worst hangover in the long history of hangovers. Apparently, … Continue reading The Astounding Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Army Of Steam Giants
Moondog Mayhem
...Arrroooooo! Note: The following has nothing to do with Star Wars, but did seem like a good way to tell the story without getting all real lifey and shit. The Jedi Master looked over his seven Padawan Learners and smiled. They were a sharp bunch and were learning rapidly the ways of the Jedi. Today … Continue reading Moondog Mayhem
