...co-starring Rowan Atkinson as the Prince 01. How has LiveJournal changed your life? As most folks would answer, it keeps me in touch with old friends as well as making me some new friends. Additionally, LJ has given me full bouncy hair, longer lasting erections, a 500k per year income that requires no work, … Continue reading Harry Potter and The Half Wit Prince
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
Hot Sauce On Cheescake
...that's so very wrong Stuff 1: As I do every so often, I have changed my LJ bio. Go read it, if you are interested. 2: What does it say about me that, while thinking upon The Dark Knight, I realize that I empathize with both The Joker and Batman? 3: If any of you … Continue reading Hot Sauce On Cheescake
Pencilfish On a Plate
...or not So, I got to the urologist 15 minutes early on Tuesday...signed in...and then all the power in the Med Center went out...along with power over a big chunk of downtown Sacramento. Results: The Med Center was evacuated and now I've gotta reschedule the damned appointment.
Chapter 17: In Which Our Hero Unleashes A Stampede Of Pigs In Order To Rescue The Queen
...whole lotta oinkin' goin' on No call from Round Table, so it's back on the job hunting trail for me. I have an appointment with the urologist today to see what's up with my pesky prostate. Hopefully, the news will be good. Next Monday, the 11th, My Sweet Little Border Canary Of Passion, Grace, will … Continue reading Chapter 17: In Which Our Hero Unleashes A Stampede Of Pigs In Order To Rescue The Queen
The Knight Is Always Darkest Just Before The Dawn
...because he hates getting up that early So, here I sit, eating my brekky and drinking my tea and beginning my third month of unemployment. I'm still waiting for Round Table to get their shit together, but starting tomorrow I'll await their call while continuing to put in applications at any place I haven't already … Continue reading The Knight Is Always Darkest Just Before The Dawn
The Magic Forest Of The Cupcake Elves
...mostly, it's chocolate The Dark Knight Grace and I went to see the latest Batman flick today. Pretty darned good, in my opinion. Heath Ledger was great as The Joker, even if this Joker didn't really have the white skin, red lips and green hair one gets from a toxic acid bath. Was his performance … Continue reading The Magic Forest Of The Cupcake Elves
Being A Good Neighbor…Yer Doin’ It Wrong
...based on real life A Bit Of Fiction: "Goodbye, Sally" (Epilogue from Doc Tempest and the Werewolves of London) The room measured 30 feet on a side, with a 12 foot ceiling. The stasis generator took up nearly half the room and it had taken Doc and Sally nearly 3 months to install and test … Continue reading Being A Good Neighbor…Yer Doin’ It Wrong
Rocket Powered Babies
...ya gotta be fast to change those diapers Ahoy, ye lubbers, today' chores an' stuff looks to be packed tighter than codfish in a barrel. There be gardenin' and spice buyin' and dog walkin' ahead, maties! Aye, and let's not be forgettin' tha cookin' and tha cleanin' and tha smoochin'! Yarr! In other news, I'd … Continue reading Rocket Powered Babies
The Sweetly Terrifying Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Haunted Toilet
...co-starring her Aunt Hortense Hopsnitch Damn...August already! The time, she is flying by! I'm nearly finished reading most of the Solar Pons mystery series. I don't have book #7 or #9, but I do have the rest and am halfway through book 10. I shall post an overview when I'm finished. Waiting in the wings … Continue reading The Sweetly Terrifying Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Haunted Toilet
On The Other Hand, It Was Preferable To Getting Killed
...plus, we'd seen the flaw in his plan Grace and I just got back from seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We both liked it and agreed that is was at least as good as Temple of Doom. Heard from Round Table Pizza about the job. Apparently, the local manager is … Continue reading On The Other Hand, It Was Preferable To Getting Killed
Chocolate Dogs, Ice Cream Cats, Cheescake Mice
...all just waiting for hungry humans I had a dream last night, the subject being one of the 4-5 recurring dream plots I've had for most of my life: going somewhere in a motor vehicle. The vehicle in question was a huge tour bus sized RV that had the TARDISlike quality of being much larger … Continue reading Chocolate Dogs, Ice Cream Cats, Cheescake Mice
We Still Like Monkeys
...as long as they don't fling poo Stuff 1: It seems that Wizards of the Coast is gonna shut down the official D&D social networking site, the awfully named Gleemax. I'm thinking this was partly based on bean counting and partly on the fact that there are roughly 47 zillion ways for gamers to socially … Continue reading We Still Like Monkeys
Chocolate Frosting On A Chicken Fried Steak
...two great tastes that should ever stay apart BACK ISSUES OF ALARUMS & EXCURSIONS FOR SALE! Ok, here are the back issues I have for sale. In some instances (generally, issues 50-89) I have duplicate issues. Oddly, and to my surprise, my collection has a huge gaping space from issue 94 to issue 135, since … Continue reading Chocolate Frosting On A Chicken Fried Steak
It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Sits On A Porcupine
...and it doesn't put the porcupine in a very festive mood, either. Gaaaahhh! They job interview went very very well. Will know more by Tuesday. Feel like I wanna throw up or get drunk or something. Gaaahhhhh!!!
The Duck Brothers, Frank And Hank, Are Not Amused By Reality TV
...and don't even get them started on Fox News Round Table Pizza is holding open interviews today for managment positions. I shall be going to one about 1:30. Hopefully, I shall get a job. If not, it's back to compiling a list of easily robbable liquor stores:)
Well…Butter My Ass And Call Me A Biscuit!
...butter, mind you, not margarine The first time I heard that line, I cracked up. For reasons I'm not fully aware of, even tho it was my idea, I got up today at 5:30 AM. That's a full 90 minutes before I usually get up. I think my idea was to get my breakfast and … Continue reading Well…Butter My Ass And Call Me A Biscuit!
Hell Night At The Clown Factory
...courtesy of Pennywise Doc's Day (so far) 1: Worked an hour in the garden 2: Laid in the sun for 80 minutes (the UV rays kick ass on my psoriasis) 3: Came in the house and collapsed (but no sunburn) 4: Ate lunch 5: Used vinegar & alcohol solution on poor Winker's once again yeast … Continue reading Hell Night At The Clown Factory
Bright Yellow Dragon Eyes
...dimly seen through the smoke So, today I went forth, as I did yesterday and so many days these past 6 weeks, looking for a job. Specifically, looking for jobs at pizza joints, since I spent the last 15.75 years working at one. The result: Nobody is hiring, most places are laying people off and … Continue reading Bright Yellow Dragon Eyes
How To Repair Your Transdimensional Gateway Generator For $5,000,000.00 Or Less
...3rd Edition Grace and I went to see Hellboy II: The Golden Army today. We both liked it a whole bunch and thought it was even better than the first one. My only criticism: that fucking Barry Manilow song is stuck in my head! BTW: I think that, once he finishes The Hobbit, Guillermo Del … Continue reading How To Repair Your Transdimensional Gateway Generator For $5,000,000.00 Or Less
The Adventure Of The Grubby Gardener
...as reported by John H. Watson, MD Yesterday's excursion in the garden was satisfying...if, by "satisfying" we mean exhausting, filthy, hot, sweaty and punctuated by neighbors taking their children indoors when I would cry out "Die, weeds! Die die die! Hahahahahahaha!" All of which helps explain why we had breakfast sandwiches for dinner, rather than … Continue reading The Adventure Of The Grubby Gardener
The Bad Girls Always Tempt Me Into Sin
...thank goodness Things I shall do today! 1: Sally forth with weedwhacker in hand to battle my weedy foes 2: Once said foes are beaten into submission, spray them with vinegar, thus administering a coup de grace. 3: Pick more zucchini, green beans, tomatos, cucumbers and spaghetti squash 4: Take The Girls on a walk … Continue reading The Bad Girls Always Tempt Me Into Sin
Who Watches The Winkerdog?
...besides her big sister Some facts about me and why I'll always be a less than perfect geek I... 1: Was never very impressed by Joss Whedon's work 2: Haven't paid money for a comic book since 1981 3: Haven't read more than 1 or 2 graphic novels/comic books in the last 5 years 4: … Continue reading Who Watches The Winkerdog?
Learning To Scream
...but not in a "girly" manner Just saw the trailer for the Watchmen movie. Sweet Dog in Heaven, does it look good! That sound you hear are comic book fanboys orgasming.
The Kitty Cats Go Out Dancing
...and drinking About a week ago, I picked up a 1947 paperback edition of Robert Benchley's book "My 10 Years In A Quandry". It's full of short 2-3 page essays, any one of which is funnier than much of what passes for humor writing nowadays. Not screamingly funny, mind you, but funny stuff nonetheless. However, … Continue reading The Kitty Cats Go Out Dancing
Chapter 55: In Which Our Hero Tricks The Evil Duke Into Crossdressing, Then Runs Off With Mary
...who envies the duke's fashion sense Stuff, Damned Stuff Went to a Job Fair yesterday. 17 companies, most of which wanted salespeople (not my area of expertise), some of which were telemarketing/work at home scamsters and none of which offered anything for this poor jobless lad. The wind is blowing and the air quality is … Continue reading Chapter 55: In Which Our Hero Tricks The Evil Duke Into Crossdressing, Then Runs Off With Mary
