...plus, she smelled like flowers My Fall/Winter Fantasy RPG Series: An Overview, Sorta Ok, Gentle Readers, let's recap what this whole fantsy series is about so far. 1: The time is roughly 250 years after the rather apocalyptic return of magic to the world. 2: Almost no civilization has been in place more than 150 … Continue reading She Couldn’t Have Been Sweeter If She Had Been Made Out Of Honey
Author: Doc Cross
I'm Doc. I live in Sacramento, California with my wife, Grace, and two dogs named Yoyo and Duke. I've been blogging for 22 years. I'm a TTRPG gamer, a gardener, dog lover, cook, and unrepentant scalawag. I write things that I think people might enjoy reading, especially if they are roleplayers or just strange. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.
Not In This Issue: Goldfish, Communists Or Marbled Rye Bread
...or, come to think of it, cow nosed rays The Stuff That Leaks Outta My Brain (1) Recipe for a sleepless night, if you're a Democrat: Somewhere, some Republican scientist is trying to clone Ronald Reagan. (2) Recipe for a night of masturbatory fantasies, if you're a Republican: Somewhere, some Republican scientist is trying to … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Goldfish, Communists Or Marbled Rye Bread
The 3 Things You Just Can’t Teach A Duck
...including, oddly enough, the warning to "duck!" Aside from toxic air, high heat and not enough money, things are going pretty well here at the D&G Cross Home For Wayward Hounds. Fall Fantasy Series: Magical Deconstruction Mystery Derby, Part Next In a comment to my last post on this subject, the ever interesting codrus made … Continue reading The 3 Things You Just Can’t Teach A Duck
There Was Never A Good Explanation For The Naked Nun In The Bathtub
...and believe me, I tried Today's Air Quality Rating for the Sacramento area: FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T FUCKING BREATH OR YOU'LL DIE!!! Today's temperature: About 350 degrees...in the shade. My dogs gave me dirty looks every time I took them ouside to go potty.
Doc Tempest: Terror Of The Shadow Man
...from the January, 2011 issue Gonna be a fairly busy day today: Job searching, other job related stuff, housekeeping, cooking, dog daddying, garden stuff...and much of that in the crappy air and the 100+ degree heat. WHEW! Fall Fantasy Series, Part 3 or 4: Magical Mystery Tour So, one of the questions that popped into … Continue reading Doc Tempest: Terror Of The Shadow Man
Chipmunks In The Underwear Drawer
...very traumatizing to a city girl So, yesterday the Air Quality Board said the air here in Sacramento was unhealthy. It was also 103 degrees out. Today, the air quality is just slightly better than the atmosphere of Venus and it should hit at least 107 here in the Big Tomato. Temps won't dip below … Continue reading Chipmunks In The Underwear Drawer
Mr. Porkwaffle Goes On A Road Trip
...with no plans of returning A short post here, kids. Everything that happened to me today might best be described by the mental picture of someone reaching into a bucket of shit to get a handful of gold. "You want good news, Mr. Cross? No problem...just bend over and grab your ankles while I tell … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Goes On A Road Trip
Linguini With Clown Sauce
...it's funny, the things we hear incorrectly Doc Update 1: Not dead, just haven't been motivated to blog these past couple of days. 2: The Fourth of July was no big deal for us (as with most holidays), except for dealing with poor Daisy, who is terrified by the noise of fireworks. Even after giving … Continue reading Linguini With Clown Sauce
Teenage Monster Girls Get Crazy
...horror movie, tit movie or anime? Fall Fantasy RPG Series, Part Whatever: Deconstruction Derby In setting the premise for this series, The Magic Has Returned, I knew that I'd have to go back and deconstruct/reconstruct the archetypal D&D/Fantasy RPG world that almost all of us know. After all, this was a world where magic has … Continue reading Teenage Monster Girls Get Crazy
The Eerily Haunting, Yet Laugh Out Loud Funny, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Crazy Cow
...co-starring her new pal, Luther Broadbean Doc Updates: Fair And Balanced 1: Grace, The Girls and I will be doing pretty much nothing on July 4th. We've no money to get out of town and even if we did, most of the state is either on fire or already burnt. Instead, we shall stay home, … Continue reading The Eerily Haunting, Yet Laugh Out Loud Funny, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Crazy Cow
Under All Of That Sophistication, She Was A Savage Little Wench
...and she liked it that way I'm drinking beer and eating Trader Joe's Baked Jalapeno Cheese Crunchies. My lips and tongue are numb, my brow is sweaty and my mood is increasingly mellow. What better time to write more about my upcoming RPG series? Creation of characters for this series will be a joint venture … Continue reading Under All Of That Sophistication, She Was A Savage Little Wench
The Flying Spanaducci Sisters Get Abducted By Aliens
...pity the poor aliens WAHOOOO! There is a breeze blowing outside and the sky has a slight bluish tint. The air quality is merely Not So Good, which means that as soon as I finish my tea, I'm out in the garden! Beans must be planted! My 23,751 sunflower seedlings need to go in thye … Continue reading The Flying Spanaducci Sisters Get Abducted By Aliens
Plastered Cats
...darn those cats That Damned 100 Book Meme I really tried to resist it, but the flesh is weak. Still, I've done it on my terms...by just listing the ones I've read. 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper … Continue reading Plastered Cats
Dancing With Wombats, Starring Robin D. Laws
...in honor of his first trip to Australia Have fun, Robin. So I got my first unemployment check yesterday. Only for one week and it's a pittance, but it's a grocery buying/small bill paying/maybe go see a matinee movie pittance, so I'm not gonna bitch about it. Must go food shopping now. Big gaming related … Continue reading Dancing With Wombats, Starring Robin D. Laws
The Rare And Beautiful Firebreathing Monkfish Of Potawango Island
...they cook their own prey Man, the smoke in the air was the worst yet today. I was outside a couple of times doing stuff and after 15 minutes or so, I had a sore throat and a headache. I can only imagine how this air is hammering people with respiratory trouble. Just as an … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Firebreathing Monkfish Of Potawango Island
He Was A Good Cop…and Excellently Priced
...it's hard to beat $200 for a walkaway More RPG Stuff Here's some more info on my upcoming Fall/Winter Fantasy Series. What follows are the choices of Race, possession of Magical Aptitude (the ability to learn spells and do other wizardly stuff), the job they worked after completing their basic education (grades K-8), what higher … Continue reading He Was A Good Cop…and Excellently Priced
The Spectacular Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Volcano Master
...from the September, 1901 issue The Central Valley is still full of smoke from hundreds of fires. The air quality is unhealthy. Grace had to use the car for work, so The Girls and I will be housebound today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST PAL, avylou! Have fun, kiddo! Spaghetti for dinner tonight! Yum Yum! … Continue reading The Spectacular Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And The Volcano Master
Giant Baby Bunnies
...hippity hopping through your town, destroying it Stuff 1: The wildfires burning all over Northern California really have our air full of smoke. Not good to be out in, especially if you have respiratory problems. 2: I made a big batch of "Dog Rice" for The Girls. Ingredients include brown rice, split peas, sweet potatoes, … Continue reading Giant Baby Bunnies
The Six Things You Should Never Say To A Crazed Eskimo
...and none of them involve yellow snow I thank you, my Gentle Readers, for indulging me the following bit of emotional venting vis a vis life in general on this day. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again, thank you.
Goodbye, George Carlin
...you were the best In honor of George, the Seven Words... Shit Fuck Piss Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
The Story Of The Wolf Among The Sheep
...sadly, it has no ending just yet Random Thoughts, Somewhat Dark 1: The current situation here at Casa Cross has me feeling a great deal of kinship with Bruce Banner and The Hulk. Or perhaps Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 2: There are perhaps two of you who will truly understand what the above means. … Continue reading The Story Of The Wolf Among The Sheep
Giving Cooking Lessons To Dogs
...which they paid very close attention to Ok, so for whatever reason, the month of June is an insanely popular birthday month for gaming friends of mine. Apparently, the parents of many future gamers decided to let their passions run wild in mid to late August/early September. While being born in June does not carry … Continue reading Giving Cooking Lessons To Dogs
You Should Never Get Drunk And Wake Up In Middle Earth
...also, you can't get good barbecue anywhere outside the Shire My Fall/Winter Fantasy Series So, as I've mentioned before, this new series will take up after the "Bringing Back The Magic" series from last year. About 300 years after, actually. The situation is that magic has returned to the world and, after a few decades … Continue reading You Should Never Get Drunk And Wake Up In Middle Earth
Hot Glass Octopi
...what? As Usual, More Stuff 1: As anyone with half a brain could have predicted, the D&D 4E GSL is much more restrictive than the 3E OGL was. Also very predictable is the fact that there are 1,965,437 forum threads out there discussing it. All but 2 or 3 have turned into namecalling shit storms. … Continue reading Hot Glass Octopi
Cows Who Steal Cars, Goats Who Rob Banks, Pigs Who Do Drive Bys
...things are bad down on the farm The job search goes on, but has so far yielded nothing of importance. On the other hand, my skills as a stay at home househusband are improving daily. The more I read what people have to say about D&D 4th Edition, the gladder I am that I won't … Continue reading Cows Who Steal Cars, Goats Who Rob Banks, Pigs Who Do Drive Bys
