...damn! The Doclopedia #1,186 Even More Technobabble!: Regenerating Nanoskin Let's face it, normal skin works just fine for ordinary folks, but if you are a costumed hero without superpowers, regular skin takes a hell of a beating and scars pretty easily. What you need is a synthetic skin that's WAY tougher. That is why … Continue reading The Ham What Am Plus A Side Order Of Spam
Tag: Doclopedia
The All New, But Comfortingly Nostalgic, 2015 Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Really Great Grilled Cheese Sandwich
...co-starring her pet angwantibo, Mr. Ralph The Doclopedia #1,185 Even More Technobabble!: Atomic Brain Expander Are you smart...we mean really smart...but need more space in your brain for your grand ideas, world changing theories or mastermind plans? Well then, you need an Atomic Brain Expander from SmartCo, the world leader in mad brain science! Looking … Continue reading The All New, But Comfortingly Nostalgic, 2015 Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Really Great Grilled Cheese Sandwich
The Rare And Beautiful 27 Spotted Barking Hamster Of Potawango Island
...they don't bark very loudly, but they do it often. The Doclopedia #1,184 Send In The Clowns: Azgoloth, The Last Clown From the diary of Diana Turner Late Spring, 2058? Dear Diary, I don't think I'll last much longer. Haven't eaten in three days. Last night I was on the mountain top, huddled in a … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful 27 Spotted Barking Hamster Of Potawango Island
The Seasonally Cheery, Yet Really Rather Darkly Foreboding, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strange Case Of The Reindeer’s Nose
... featuring her younger cousin, Mabel Maroon The Doclopedia #1,182 Send In The Clowns: Stabby, The Killer Clown Stabby (real name: John Stabakowski) was a deranged young man from Encino, California, who wanted nothing more in life than to be a beloved children's birthday party clown. Unfortunately, his choice of “Stabby” as a clown name, … Continue reading The Seasonally Cheery, Yet Really Rather Darkly Foreboding, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strange Case Of The Reindeer’s Nose
Drunken Cows Abused My Eland
...and they crapped on my lawn! The Doclopedia #1,181 Send In The Clowns: Boffo, The Clockwork Clown Way back in 1870, in San Francisco, a rather mad inventor named Volmer Heely built an amazing clockwork man. The intricacy of the inner workings of his creation were decades ahead of anything else anywhere in the … Continue reading Drunken Cows Abused My Eland
The Royal Report On Dealing With Dragons
...it's only one word: DON'T! The Doclopedia #1,180 The Truth About Monsters: Ents The physical description of Ents that Professor Tolkien gave us in The Lord of the Rings is spot on. These “tree shepherds” are roughly humanoid looking trees themselves. Any sort of tree can be represented, with the deciduous species being the … Continue reading The Royal Report On Dealing With Dragons
Chapter 146: In Which Our Hero Saves A Fair Maiden From The French, Then Tosses The Evil Cardinal Off A Cliff
...sadly, God was not on the cardinal's side The Doclopedia #1,179 The Truth About Monsters: Owlbears Few monsters are as strange looking and as misunderstood as the Owlbear. It's half a ton of grizzly bear with the head of an enormous owl, walks upright and, when it can find a mate, reproduces by laying … Continue reading Chapter 146: In Which Our Hero Saves A Fair Maiden From The French, Then Tosses The Evil Cardinal Off A Cliff
Three Young Ladies In Search Of Adventure
...or cheap drinks The Doclopedia #1,178 The Truth About Monsters: Hydras Let's face it, anything with more or less than one head is scary. Something big and reptilian with SEVEN heads is pretty much guaranteed to terrify you, possibly into soiling yourself. Enter the creatures known as Hydras. They got the name from that … Continue reading Three Young Ladies In Search Of Adventure
A Pocket Full Of Butter
...oh no, my good pants The Doclopedia #1,177 The Truth About Monsters: Demons In the pocket dimension known as “Demarra”, the beings that we call Demons look and act surprisingly like we do. Indeed, if you were transported there safely, you'd fit right in. The key word there is “safely”. You see, transporting between realities … Continue reading A Pocket Full Of Butter
The Girl With The Green Nipples Goes Crazy
...she may have been a bit stressed out The Doclopedia #1,176 The Truth About Monsters: Orcs The simple fact is, Orcs are mostly hard working beings who just want to live their lives with as few problems as possible. You know, just like every other sentient humanoid species with half a brain. The problem is, … Continue reading The Girl With The Green Nipples Goes Crazy
The Really Very Late, But Still Jampacked With Fireworks, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Expensive Shoes
...co-starring her pet dormouse, Wendy The Doclopedia #1,175 Those Furry Little Bastards!: In Washington D.C. “This is a special bulletin from DNN! PANIC IN WASHINGTON! Hello, I'm David Bentley with this breaking news. It appears that the Pitipati have converged on Washington, DC, and are wrecking havoc in the House and Senate. We have … Continue reading The Really Very Late, But Still Jampacked With Fireworks, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Expensive Shoes
Mr. Porkwaffle Cooks A Stew
...but not without humorous mishaps The Doclopedia #1,174 Those Furry Little Bastards!: At A Gaming Convention Doc: “Oh shit! The Pitipati are here at the con!” Spike: “That ought to liven things up.” Doc: “I reckon. Raising holy hell usually does liven things up.” Mary: “Do you think they'll paint people like they did … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Cooks A Stew
Is It Just Me, Or Does Crab Rangoon Sound Like A 1960s Pro Wrestler?
...probably just me. The Doclopedia #1,173 Those Furry Little Bastards!: At War “Well, Winston, it would seem that the Pitipati don't like the Nazis or the Japanese any more than you or I do. I just got a report that says they have Hitler and his boys nearly insane with anger. Not that both … Continue reading Is It Just Me, Or Does Crab Rangoon Sound Like A 1960s Pro Wrestler?
Tonight’s Episode: Gander & Percy Try To Smuggle A Trained Ox Into The Barndance
...featuring a guest appearance by Don Knotts as Barney Fife The Doclopedia #1,171 Murder By...: Used Spork “Jeez, Al, what's the world coming to? Wasn't that long ago that a guy with a gun or maybe a shiv could make a good living doing hits in this town. Now, with that green haired psycho … Continue reading Tonight’s Episode: Gander & Percy Try To Smuggle A Trained Ox Into The Barndance
The Madcap, Yet Lustily Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Magical Treehouse
...co-starring her Uncle Olaf, who only has one leg The Doclopedia #1,170Murder By...: Chocolate ScorpionsIn that other world, the one all children know about, but teenagers can barely remember and adults can’t even think of (until they get really old, but that’s when childhood returns anyway), there was a really evil Evil Wizard called the Upside … Continue reading The Madcap, Yet Lustily Romantic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Magical Treehouse
It’s Raining Cats & Blogs!
...I wasn't even trying on that one.The Doclopedia #1,169Murder By...: Monotony“I dunno, Captain, was it really suicide? I mean, sure, he shot himself in front of six co-workers, but I wonder. See, by asking around, we found out that he had formerly been one of the brightest and most creative guys in the advertising department … Continue reading It’s Raining Cats & Blogs!
Milk For The Mongoose
...for his cornflakes The Doclopedia #1,168 Murder By...: Books “Yes, YES, I killed her! I admit it and I'm glad I did it! She's dead! It was always “I'm reading blah blah blah” or “So and so is doing a book signing” or “I've preordered such and such titles”. All she ever talked about were … Continue reading Milk For The Mongoose
Garlic In The Laundry
...I forgot that it was in my pocketThe Doclopedia #1,165Fish Of the Day: Walking LungsharkSomewhere on Earth 88 there might be a more terrifying fish than the Walking Lungshark, but we are damned if we know what it might be.Combining aspects of the lungfish, walking catfish and great white shark, these 20 foot long eating … Continue reading Garlic In The Laundry
No Escape From Bunnyland
...and they are NOT nice bunnies The Doclopedia #1,163 Fish Of the Day: Yelling Carp This fish is a large blue-gray carp that periodically comes to the surface to yell things in a surprisingly human voice. This always scares the hell out of most humans and animals nearby. During the Yelling Carp mating season, … Continue reading No Escape From Bunnyland
The Professional Newsletter Writer’s Newsletter
...all the news that fits in a newsletterThe Doclopedia #1,161A Hand Full Of...: Gold“Holy shit, Jimmy, that's gold! A real gold bar! It must have been left behind when the old mine closed down in 1884. Holy shit!Let me hold it. Man, it's heavy, isn't it? How much do you think it's worth? NO WAY! … Continue reading The Professional Newsletter Writer’s Newsletter
Are You Ready To Enter The Kingdom Of Godzilla?
...welcome back, big guy. we missed you. The Doclopedia #1,159 A Hand Full Of...: Dwiff “Oh yes, your Most High Skondorf, that is indeed dwiff, straight from the Cliffs of Ooon. The Thrice Blessed Kelldorn, Feemis Feev, went out and personally slew many lowgs and roozards to get to the Cliffs and obtain it … Continue reading Are You Ready To Enter The Kingdom Of Godzilla?
Amazing Adventures In Mad Science!
...as told by Sasha Jane Cross The Doclopedia #1,158 A Hand Full Of...: Goop “That there in yer hand is 100% Goop, young fella. Comes outta them Goop Cactus over yonder and it's worth twice as much as gold. Why? Well, ya see, if ya mix a bit in some booze, it makes a drink … Continue reading Amazing Adventures In Mad Science!
The Warm Noodle Event
...it was warm and buttery The Doclopedia #1,156Dolls: DollgoraWhat turned a typical child's doll into a 300 foot tall city destroying kaiju with laser eyes and acid fog breath? Nobody in Japan has a clue, but when she burst up from below the city, you can bet they tried to find out.Unfortunately, Dollgora didn't make researching … Continue reading The Warm Noodle Event
Doc Tempest VS The Deadly Dogs
...from the July, 1956 issue The Doclopedia #1,155Dolls: Miracle BabyOn an Earth where several factors came together to drastically lower the birth rate anywhere from 60% to 90%, The desire to have babies drove people to do extreme and often tragic things. Eventually, the World Council made all crimes related to baby acquisition (aside from legal … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Deadly Dogs
OK, I Admit It! I Wrote The Book Of Love!
...now leave me alone. The Doclopedia #1,153Dolls: Asskicker BarbeeOn Earth 15, where girls are raised to be just as tough as boys, the number one selling doll is Asskicker Barbee (followed closely by Crimefighter Barbee and GI Barbee). The doll comes dressed in regular street clothes and armed with a knife, a baseball bat and a … Continue reading OK, I Admit It! I Wrote The Book Of Love!
