...might as well do it elegantly The Doclopedia #3,261 This Is For You: An Old Map “Here ya go, Captain. This is the map them Johnny Rebs was tryin' to take to that son of a bitch Coldwell. I don't know a damn thing about old stuff like this, but that notation up top says … Continue reading Swan Diving Into The Shenanigans Pond
Tag: Doclopedia
Ewok Earwax
...yuck The Doclopedia #3,260 This Is For You: The Big Score “Look, Professor, the Kid and I wouldn't normally get you involved this deep, but you know who we need to get these to and you can deal with them better than anyone else. Yeah, that's a shitload of uncut diamonds alright. Now, look, the … Continue reading Ewok Earwax
Like A Spork In The Eye
....OW! The Doclopedia #3,259 This Is For You: An Axe “I regret that you must undertake the Palath Saa, Terran, but it is the only way our leaders will accept that your species is worthy of negotiating with. This axe will be your only weapon, unless you find others among the remains of failed warriors. … Continue reading Like A Spork In The Eye
I Was A 55 Gallon Trash Can For the FBI
...we were rooting out commies The Doclopedia #3,258 This Is For You: $300.00 “Well, your mother is sitting in the kitchen, mad as a wet hen, so she's not coming out to say goodbye. Oh, yeah, she'll be okay in a day or two. Remember how mad she was when Cori joined the Army? She … Continue reading I Was A 55 Gallon Trash Can For the FBI
Puzzled Pugs
...posing properly The Doclopedia #3,257 This Is For You: A Magic Feather “Listen to me. You need to leave now! Father will be here to haul you down to the dungeon soon. Your hired man told him the truth about you and he can't let you get back to the Council of Kings with what … Continue reading Puzzled Pugs
Nasty Tomatoes Insulted My Watermelons
...cherry tomatoes, at that The Doclopedia #3,256 This Is For You: A Gold Coin “Here, take this. You'll need it to get into Vardo's secret casino. Just dress to the nines, put Edie on your arm and hand this coin to the guy sitting next to the out of order elevator in the Venus Arms … Continue reading Nasty Tomatoes Insulted My Watermelons
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meeples
...wooden ones The Doclopedia #3,255 New Cryptids: Swampzilla This new cryptid is based upon two separate sightings on the same day in Everglades National Park. For privacy reasons, the names of the observers have been redacted, but we do know that both sightings happened on April 7th, 2025, between 9:45 am and 12:10 pm, about … Continue reading Cloudy With A Chance Of Meeples
Warm Pudding
...with sprinkles The Doclopedia #3,254 New Cryptids: Desert Bigfoot Although sightings of bigfoot-like creatures are not rare in the desert southwest, this particular version is, so far, the one least viewed by humans. “Desert Bigfoot”, as it is called, stands out from other sasquatch sightings in a few ways. For one, it has only ever … Continue reading Warm Pudding
Short Stories Of Mad Adventure
...barking mad, mostly The Doclopedia #3,253 New Cryptids: Ol' Stinky From out of the forests of British Columbia come reports of what could be either a huge dog or a very odd bear. Whatever it is, it leaves behind an odor reminiscent of raw sewage and rotten eggs. It has been known to make people … Continue reading Short Stories Of Mad Adventure
I Kissed A Squirrel
...and I liked itThe Doclopedia #3,252 New Cryptids: Ratgirl New Yorkers are no strangers to rats. They can be found all over the city, living off the things we discard and not taking much shit off any other species, including humans. Recently, however, a new rat problem has popped up: Ratgirl. According to the dozens … Continue reading I Kissed A Squirrel
A Family Full Of Mad Scientists
...life gets interesting The Doclopedia #3,251 New Cryptids: Giant Tumbleweed Although tumbleweeds often clump up, sometimes in the hundreds, during periods of high winds, this cryptid is a whole different item. The tumbleweed in question was first sighted by Roger Casey and his cousin, Fred Gibbs, on Ramsey Mine Road, about a mile south of … Continue reading A Family Full Of Mad Scientists
We Needed A Good Lunch
...preferably Chinese The Doclopedia #3,250 New Cryptids: Bug Eyed Man Not all cryptids dwell in small towns or out of the way rural areas. The Bug Eyed Man of Spears Woods is right in the center of the greater Chicagoland urban sprawl. And he doesn't just stick to the woods, either. First sighted on September … Continue reading We Needed A Good Lunch
Mexican Jenny Hides The Stuff
...and then forgot where she hid it The Doclopedia #3,249 Exploring The Dungeon: The Steps Downward If you leave the half finished room via the northern door, you will find yourself on a 10X10 foot landing at the top of a long stairway leading down. Written in blood on the wall are the words “This … Continue reading Mexican Jenny Hides The Stuff
Loud Food
...you can hear it for miles The Doclopedia #3,248 Exploring The Dungeon:The Half Finished Room Regardless of which tunnel/corridor you choose to go down, the doors at the end lead to a 40X40X15 foot room that looks only about half finished. The unfinished parts are still rough rock. There is not much in this room, … Continue reading Loud Food
Weird Tales Of Spicy Adventure
...not a real pulp mag The Doclopedia #3,247 Exploring The Dungeon: The Nest The room containing the nest of Cannibal Halflings is about 15 feet wide, 30 feet long, and 8 feet high. There is precious little in this room aside from the halflings, a 12 foot long table, a few beds made of rags, … Continue reading Weird Tales Of Spicy Adventure
Peach Flapjacks
...yum! The Doclopedia #3,246 Exploring The Dungeon: The Secret Corridor The partially open secret door leads you to a long, narrow corridor. You can only walk down it single file. It is about 180 feet long, and contains three traps. 1: Classic pit trap, but, just beyond it, is another pit trap much better concealed. … Continue reading Peach Flapjacks
Boogoo The New Gnu
...he was young The Doclopedia #3,245 Exploring The Dungeon: The Split You see that these two corridors are still the 12X12 size. The one to the left seems to slope down ever so slightly. The one on the right is level. Both are quite dark, so you'd better have torches or lanterns. The corridor to … Continue reading Boogoo The New Gnu
Uncle Doc Talks To You About Cheese
...he's in favor of it The Doclopedia #3,243 Exploring The Dungeon: The Entrance You are at the entrance to the Dungeon of Jal Goloda. The entrance is carved right in the side of a 150 foot tall cliff, about 30 feet up from ground level. A narrow trail leads up to it.The entrance is 20 … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Cheese
Ugly Ants
...so bad looking The Doclopedia #3,242 All You Need Is Glove: The Influencer So now we come to the final glove of our exhibit, The Influencer. Crafted by a coven of Uxtorilan witches, it was wielded to great effect by Princess, and later Queen, Sashonia Mivorna.Commonly referred to as the “Queen of Peace”, she used … Continue reading Ugly Ants
Messing Around With Magic
...and cousin Albert is a baboon The Doclopedia #3,241 All You Need Is Glove: The Holy Blaster Ah yes, the Holy Blaster of Saint Korgan. He is, so far, the only Orc ever raised to sainthood. He's also the reason why nobody has seen a vampire, lich, or greater mummy in the last two centuries. … Continue reading Messing Around With Magic
Bears Live Here
...big ones, with sharp claws The Doclopedia #3,240 All You Need Is Glove: The Mana Battery This glove, which I see some of you recognize, is the Mana Battery. It belonged to Venzida the Most Miraculous, and she was the most powerful wizard of her day, 400 years ago. She was immensely talented, creating dozens … Continue reading Bears Live Here
The Mostly Funny, But Also Mildly Disturbing, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Monkey In A Clown Suit
...co-starring her favorite teacher, Miss Dockenfuster The Doclopedia #3,239 All You Need Is Glove: A Thieve's Best Friend Yes, students, this glove is a bit hard to look at. It starts out appearing white, but the longer you stare at it, the more difficult it is to focus on. Almost as if it is a … Continue reading The Mostly Funny, But Also Mildly Disturbing, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Monkey In A Clown Suit
Mr. Blue Ska
...I'd give it a listen The Doclopedia #3,238 All You Need Is Glove: The Lifestealer Welcome, students, to the Museum of Magical Artifacts, Clothing Section. This week, our featured exhibits are gloves. Yes, Miss Castileer, they are just a single glove instead of a pair. Sometimes, one is all you need. Our first example of … Continue reading Mr. Blue Ska
On A Lonely Road Out In The Boondocks
...California Gothic The Doclopedia #3,237 Things You Will Need: When The Shit Goes Down 1: A fast car. 2: Guns. Plenty of guns. 3: Ammo for those guns. 4: Your bug out bag with the money in it. 5: The map of the back roads to Riverville. 6: The keys to the cabin, which are … Continue reading On A Lonely Road Out In The Boondocks
Jumping Off The Giant Duck
...into the pond The Doclopedia #3,236 Things You Will Need: To Make the Potion 1: Fresh toad skins. Three of them and they'd better be FRESH! 2: Two ounces of demon ichor. 3: A cup of flour. Preferably whole wheat. 4: A live Barbed Worm. A 6 incher should do it. 5: Soil from a … Continue reading Jumping Off The Giant Duck
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