...they were doing it on purpose The Long & Winding Road Part 65 The Endless Marsh When you come up out of Goblinia, you be about 2 miles from the edge of a huge marshland. It extends about 130 miles from east to west, and averages 50 miles from north to south. People live here. … Continue reading Gruff Turtles Trampled My Sedums →

...holding a bottle of wine and his sword The Long & Winding Road Part 64 Goblinia You have just entered the Goblin Homeland. You see The Road ahead of you suddenly go down into a tunnel. Yes, this entire 130 miles is underground. It passes right down the center of many goblin villages, towns, and … Continue reading Chapter 5: In Which Our Hero, Now Pursued By The Law, Slides Down A Mountain →

...especially that guy with the tattooed willy The Long & Winding Road Part 63 The Pleasant Hills If this country were on our Earth, it would probably be called “a whole country of goddamned hippies”. These humans, who may or may not be possessed of a touch of fairy blood, live in everything from brightly … Continue reading News Flash: Flashers Are News! →

...mostly, tartar sauce The Long & Winding Road Part 62 Hectoria Like Winzell, Hectoria is a land of forests and streams, but that's where the similarities ends. The Hectorians are hunters and outdoorsfolk through and through. They do not farm or engage in any other business, aside from making and selling bows, arrows, spears, and … Continue reading Fishing For Condiments →

...wait, what? The Long & Winding Road Part 61 Winzell Three things to know about Winzell.1: It is eerily quiet throughout the entire country, even though wildlife, including smaller monsters, abounds.2: The people here all look like they are a couple of days dead. Pale, somewhat saggy skin, slender, cool to the touch, slow moving, … Continue reading Fungusadelic! →

...5 miles ahead The Long & Winding Road Part 60 Borbinia The Road passes through this country for 105 miles, again, following the river. Another rural land of mostly ranchers and farmers, Borbinia is a land of fields dotted with bits of woodland. The population seems to be made up of at least 7 types … Continue reading Zone Of No Magic →

...you know what I mean The Long & Winding Road Part 59 Pomsk Pomsk, inhabited by blue skinned, green haired beings who look human but have no obvious differences between sexes, is land crisscrossed by rivers, canals, lakes and ponds. The Pomskites are almost entirely farmers, gardeners, or fisherfolk. Even in their towns and cities, … Continue reading The Good, The Bad, And The Mildly Unpleasant Looking →

...she did look very cute that way The Long & Winding Road Part 58 Lurell When you pass into Lurell, you are entering the first of the five Fall River Kingdoms. The Road, now a broad concrete affair, never strays more than 2 or 3 miles from the river. The Road runs 110 miles through … Continue reading It’s All Fun And Games Until You Tie Dye The Baby →

...in a rainbow of colors The Long & Winding Road Part 57 Yirfa & The Great Falls Congratulations! You have made it to the West Coast. The land of Yirfa is well forested all the way to the mostly cliff edges of the coast and full of wildlife. The Road runs 110 miles here, often … Continue reading Spectacular Squash →

...it's surprisingly close The Long & Winding Road Part 63 The Pleasant Hills If this country were on our Earth, it would probably be called “a whole country of goddamned hippies”. These humans, who may or may not be possessed of a touch of fairy blood, live in everything from brightly colored nomadic tents to … Continue reading Looking For The Edge Of The End Of the World →

...he loves the board sports The Long & Winding Road Part 62 Hectoria Like Winzell, Hectoria is a land of forests and streams, but that's where the similarities ends. The Hectorians are hunters and outdoorsfolk through and through. They do not farm or engage in any other business, aside from making and selling bows, arrows, … Continue reading Yoyo, Surfdog! →

...his first name was Nicolai The Long & Winding Road Part 61 Winzell Three things to know about Winzell.1: It is eerily quiet throughout the entire country, even though wildlife, including smaller monsters, abounds.2: The people here all look like they are a couple of days dead. Pale, somewhat saggy skin, slender, cool to the … Continue reading Action Was His Middle Name →

...#5: being murder hobos The Long & Winding Road Part 60 Borbinia The Road passes through this country for 105 miles, again, following the river. Another rural land of mostly ranchers and farmers, Borbinia is a land of fields dotted with bits of woodland. The population seems to be made up of at least 7 … Continue reading 101 Ways That Players Make GMs Cry →

...you had to be there The Long & Winding Road Part 59 Pomsk Pomsk, inhabited by blue skinned, green haired beings who look human but have no obvious differences between sexes, is land crisscrossed by rivers, canals, lakes and ponds. The Pomskites are almost entirely farmers, gardeners, or fisherfolk. Even in their towns and cities, … Continue reading Beer Nut Battles →

...and scores a relic, too The Long & Winding Road Part 58 Lurell When you pass into Lurell, you are entering the first of the five Fall River Kingdoms. The Road, now a broad concrete affair, never strays more than 2 or 3 miles from the river. The Road runs 110 miles through Lurell, and … Continue reading Brother Joshua Prevails →

...not what you're thinking The Long & Winding Road Part 57 Yirfa & The Great Falls Congratulations! You have made it to the West Coast. The land of Yirfa is well forested all thr way to the mostly cliff edges of the coast and full of wildlife. The Road runs 110 miles here, often just … Continue reading Night Of The Flaming Dildos →

...more imaginary anime The Long & Winding Road Part 56 The Short Forest This 95 mile stretch of The Road passes through one of the most interesting areas in the whole trip. The aptly named Short Forest has a wide variety of trees, but none are over 7 feet tall. The shortness also applies to … Continue reading Super Kaiju Defense League Red →

...delicious The Long & Winding Road Part 55 Darsin's Mountain This is a lone ancient volcano, no longer active. Strange lights and sounds eminate from the crater. It's not really very tall, maybe 900 feet. The forests growing on the sides of it are pretty sparse, as is animal life. Nobody lives here or willingly … Continue reading Bowls Of Bacon →

...way out in the boonies The Long & Winding Road Part 54 M'Vesk For every inch of the190 miles that The Road goes through M'Vesk, it is surrounded by old growth forest. This forest is full of life, both plant and animal. There are monsters and beasts here. There are also Tree Shepherds, dryads, and … Continue reading That Night We Partied On A Bridge →

...it just up and vanished The Long & Winding Road Part 53 Tralidon Tralidon is a land of hundres of small verdant hills that cover an area of roughly 150 X 120 Miles. The Road runs straighe east/west here for 130 miles. It is once again made of short grass. It goes up and down … Continue reading The Lost Village →

...in spaaaaace! The Long & Winding Road Part 52 Craters Of Terror These big craters,16 in all, are more like steep sided holes 200 feet deep and from 15 to 20 miles across. They are connected by tunnels, some as long as 3 miles. Dinosaurs live here. Lots of them.The craters floors have ecosystems from … Continue reading Space Chipmunks! →

...the town was Seattle The Long & Winding Road Part 51 Quen Quen is a country divided, not by war or strife, but by The Road and two very different cultures. To the northwest, you'll find short, happy semi-nomads raising sheep, goats, and cattle. They work hard and play hard. They are friendly to strangers … Continue reading Fruit Bear Goes To Town →

...co-starring her cousin, Patty Perpendicular The Long & Winding Road Part 50 Orpania Congratulations! You've reached the halfway point! Orpania is a pleasant land of fiends and forests, with the riverport city of Gladwin at pretty much the halfway point. The people here are a nice bunch who are very much into arts & architecture.The … Continue reading The Crazy Funny, Yet Also Kind Of Spooky, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Ham Monster →

...a sad place The Long & Winding Road Part 49 The Flowered Hills When you come to an enormous oak tree a few feet from The Road, you are leaving the Forest Of The Wee Folk and entering The Flowered Hills Running straight northwest, and made of packed earth covered in dried flower petals, this … Continue reading Broken Heart Lane →

...run! RUN!!! The Long & Winding Road Part 48 Forest Of The Wee Folk At a whopping 275 miles of winding brick surface, this may be the longest section of The Road. It winds through the lightly forested land, but always heads southwest. Along the way, it passes over bridges that cross no water, goes … Continue reading Unstoppable Geese →