...not a bit! The Doclopedia #2,678 Famous Film Monsters 2.0: The Mummy The story of a mummy rising from his tomb and killing people has a much different ending than in our world, and it's shorter. On Earth 26-Y, Imhotep did indeed rise up, kill a British explorer and his Egyptian assistant. Then he left … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Soup, Goop, Poop, or Asparagus
Tag: Doclopedia
Hit With A Wicked Stick
...ouch! The Doclopedia #2,677 Famous Film Monsters 2.0: The Phantom Of The Opera This version of the Phantom really IS a phantom. He died in the Paris Opera House in 1887, after a fight with a rival composer. His body was dumped in the river and recovered a week later, but his spirit still haunts … Continue reading Hit With A Wicked Stick
He Was Flamboozled!
...totally The Doclopedia #2,676 Famous Film Monsters 2.0: Werewolves Of London On Earth 14-Z, these annoying twits are found throughout London's upper class. Most of them are about as dull as dishwater, half-witted, and not very good looking. In their wolfman form, most look more like scrawny coyotes. But oh my, they THINK they are … Continue reading He Was Flamboozled!
Spud Boy Deluxe
...aka Big Spuddy The Doclopedia #2,675 Famous Film Monsters 2.0: Dracula Dracula is quite different on Earth 22-C. First off, he's gay, so only the blood of men will feed him. Secondly, despite being 700 years old, he's not very smart or worldly. Finally, he's vulnerable to not only the standard vampire weaknesses, he can … Continue reading Spud Boy Deluxe
Sweet Robots Who Dance
...ballroom dancing The Doclopedia #2,674 Famous Film Monsters 2.0: Frankenstein On Earth 10-A, the novel “Frankenstein” was more popular upon release than it ever was here. It also caused people to feel great sympathy for the monster, and hatred for Dr. Frankenstein.So it is that since the first silent movie, starring Charles Ogle as the … Continue reading Sweet Robots Who Dance
Yoyo Skateboards Down Olympus Mons
...and then his mother finds out The Doclopedia #2,673 More Annotated Entries: Tiny Folk: Darini Ratslayer When you’re only 6 inches tall, lots of creatures want to kill you and eat you. Snakes, cats, dogs, rats, spiders, weasels…the list is long. That’s why Darini and her Predator Scouts are there to kill or drive away … Continue reading Yoyo Skateboards Down Olympus Mons
Spoon Fight!
...tablespoons only The Doclopedia #2,672 More Annotated Entries: By The Numbers: 47…is how many hours it takes to roast a whole Yurb. (Yurbs are much like really large, really dumb cattle.) Mind you, that’s a young Yurb, weighing no more than 2,500 pounds and cooked in a Luzuku style oven. (These ovens are the size … Continue reading Spoon Fight!
It’s All Fun & Games Until You Lose Alice In The Steam Tunnels
...she came out a week later The Doclopedia #2,671More Annotated Entries: Islands Of The Circle Sea: The Mox Islands Four islands make up this group and all of them are dormant volcanoes. (This changed 6 years ago when Mox Gantu erupted for 11 days. The lava flow was moderate and pretty much ran through old … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You Lose Alice In The Steam Tunnels
Spin, Doctor!
...counterclockwise, please The Doclopedia #2,670 More Annotated Entries: What’s That Sound?BANGbang! BONGbong! Bangbangbang! Bongbongbong! If there is any sound more annoying than Bonger Dwarves having a battle with Banger Dwarves, we don’t know what it is. (Bonger Dwarves or Banger Dwarves having sex may be worse.)These two tribes of ugly little people divided up centuries … Continue reading Spin, Doctor!
Bucky & Squint Get Real Jobs
...and are soon fired The Doclopedia #2,669 More Annotated Entries: Warning Labels: Do It Yourself Monster Kit WARNING: Failure to read the following could result in death, destruction, madness and the end of civilization as we know it. (A government inquiry found that fully 52% of purchasers ignored these warnings.) 1: Your Do It Yourself … Continue reading Bucky & Squint Get Real Jobs
Blue Widgets
...much better than the yellow ones The Doclopedia #2,668 More Annotated Entries: Don’t Touch That Strange Thing! Aw, c’mon, Jimmy, don’t mess with that. (The young man asking this was 12 year old Howie Fernstadt, a fairly cautious and level headed fellow, as 12 year old boys go) It looks really strange and it could … Continue reading Blue Widgets
We Are All Out Of Fish Today
...maybe try the clams The Doclopedia #2,667 More Annotated Entries: Agent Roscoe, FBI Paranormal InvestigatorRoscoe is a medium sized mutant Basset Hound/Beagle mix, 7 years old, 50 pounds, reddish brown & white coat, brown eyes, long ears and his right one has a small bullet hole in it. (Roscoe died of old age at 16.5 … Continue reading We Are All Out Of Fish Today
The Less Podcasty, More Bloggy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Big Announcement
Co-starring her pet lizard, JeromeNOTE: If you saw this title pop up on September first, it was a mistake. THE DOCLOPEDIA IS BACK! The Doclopedia #2,666 More Annotated Entries: Maryellen Baxter, Mystical Craftsperson Maryellen is a native San Franciscan who lives with her husband, David, and their three children in a large Victorian home in … Continue reading The Less Podcasty, More Bloggy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Big Announcement
Hot Ferrets
...but not too hot Note: This entry ends another 365 days of a Doclopedia Deathmarch. I'll be taking a break from new entries for a bit. The Doclopedia #2,665 People Of The Solar System...: Titans Despite being a cold, dangerous place, Titan has the largest population in the Outer System. Nearly 100,000 people live in … Continue reading Hot Ferrets
+3 Sword Of Circumcision
...AAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!!! The Doclopedia #2,664 People Of The Solar System...: Jovians Few people visit any other Jovian moon besides Callisto, home to the joint US/French research and mining colony. This is because the other three Galilean moons are home to a dangerous and probably insane religious cult.The Family of Jupiter first came to these moons in … Continue reading +3 Sword Of Circumcision
Candied Frog On A Stick
...YUM! The Doclopedia #2,663 People Of The Solar System...: Asteroid Miners You will meet miners of all sorts out in the Belt, and most of them are friendly and willing to welcome you into their small colonies. The few Terran military outposts are a different story.The people of the Belt are not entirely human looking … Continue reading Candied Frog On A Stick
Ratatatatatooee
...famous rat drummer The Doclopedia #2,662 People Of The Solar System...: Martians In many ways, Mars is very much like Earth. Various areas are controlled by different Terran countries, Great Britain, France, The United States, The Bear Flag Republic, Germany, Spain, Japan, and most recently, Russia and Brazil, resulting in competition, espionage, and interactions with … Continue reading Ratatatatatooee
Gunky Funk
...as opposed to funky gunk The Doclopedia #2,661 People Of The Solar System...: Terrans Despite my being born in the Bear Flag Republic of California to an Indian mother and an Irish father, I have always found the people of our Mother Planet to be a rather unpleasant lot, on the whole. The bicker about … Continue reading Gunky Funk
My Life With The Living Wood Chip Pile
...it's SO BIG! The Doclopedia #2,660 People Of The Solar System...: Venusians The steaming hot climate of Venus, as well as the myriad deadly lifeforms living there, has bred a population divided. Most of the Venusians you will meet are tough customers who live and work in the jungles, swamps, and oceans of the planet. … Continue reading My Life With The Living Wood Chip Pile
WonderHorse Goes To Rio
...for the weekend The Doclopedia #2,659 People Of The Solar System...: Mercurians The mining colonies of Mercury are perhaps the most international of all the varied colonies. There, deep underground at the poles, you'll find workers and administrators from 36 countries. Most recently added, as of 1892, were the Kenyans and Cubans.As you might imagine, … Continue reading WonderHorse Goes To Rio
Meet Me At The Lucky Dog Bar
...and come alone The Doclopedia #2,658 Questionable Spells: Detect CopperWe have a hard time understanding how anyone could want this spell. Maybe it was created by an impoverished mage. Perhaps a plumber commissioned it. Nobody knows.Despite that, this spell is a decent seller with beginning adventurers.
Death To The Undead
...kind of a gift, really The Doclopedia #2,657 Questionable Spells: Ray Of Sweatiness Most often used to embarrass a foe or maybe make his grip on weapons fail, this spell at least has the virtue of being funny. The only time it has been used to actually do damage was when Humello the Creative cast … Continue reading Death To The Undead
Funky Clown
...I misheard the song The Doclopedia #2,656 Questionable Spells: Create Saltwater A 1 foot cube of saltwater isn't good for much except putting out a fire or starting corrosion on metal. Maybe poisoning some enemies water or ruining their stew. Aside from that, this spell is pretty stupid
Gone With The Wine
...not yet a motion picture The Doclopedia #2,655 Questionable Spells: Storm Of FeathersStorm of feathers is not quite as useless as some spells on this list, but it's still not a spell most mages learn.The spell can be useful to influence combat by lowering vision, but it does no real damage. It sometimes has an … Continue reading Gone With The Wine
The Wildly Improbable, But Still Delightfully Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Haunted Bakery
...co-starring her new friend, Astrid Pickleberry The Doclopedia #2,654 Questionable Spells: Erratic Light This spell functions just like a regular Light spell, but the light source flickers, dims, and brightens at random. This explains why scrolls of Erratic Light are so cheap. Sadly, using this spell often causes blurred vision and headaches, neither of which … Continue reading The Wildly Improbable, But Still Delightfully Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Haunted Bakery
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